Dirty Sanchez

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In Chapter 26 of THE HEISTERS, we flash back to before the robbery where Kaspar and Jefty outfit the escape vehicles, then flash forward to Kelsey and Ronan deciding what to do with Kaspar's dead body ...


INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY - FLASHBACK
An ambulance is parked near the entrance
with the back doors open.

Two boards rest against the back,
serving as a ramp.

Kasper walks over to a tiny
vintage Triumph Spyder right behind it.

Gets in. Starts it up.
Then slowly drives it into the ambulance.

He crawls out of the car,
then sits up front.

ON THE OTHER END OF THE WAREHOUSE
A big panel truck sits.
It also has its back doors open.

And also has boards set up
like a ramp at the end.

Jefty sits in a late-model
Mercedes sedan parked behind it.

REVS the engine.
Then slowly drives the car
inside the truck.

A PAIR OF UNIFORMED COPS
Appear in the entrance.
Walk over to the ambulance.

BEEFY COP
What’s goin’ on here?

ROOKIE COP
Look.
He’s got the little car
inside the ambulance --

BEEFY
I see.
(to Garza)
Would you please
step out of the vehicle?

Garza sees them. Gets out.
Does a great job of hiding
how freaked out he is.
Flashes a big smile.

KASPER
Hello, officers.
(nods at the ambulance)
Pretty cool, huh?

BEEFY COP
Neat trick.
What’s it for?

KASPER
A movie.

ROOKIE COP
Really? Cool --

BEEFY COP
What kind of movie?

KASPER
It’s an independent film.
About a bank heist --

BEEFY COP
You don’t say --

ROOKIE COP
Who’s in it?
Anybody famous?

KASPER
Luis Guzman --

ROOKIE COP
Who?

BEEFY COP
You’d recognize him.
Great actor.
Been in lots of films.
Boogie Nights, The Limey,
Carlito’s Way --
(smiles)
I’m a bit of a film buff myself.

KASPER
Cool.

ROOKIE COP
What’s the name of the film?

KASPER
'The Heisters.'

BEEFY COP
Great title.
(smiles)
Well, we better get going.
Good luck with it.
Look forward to seeing it.

KASPER
Thanks, officer --

ROOKIE COP
Have a good day.

They walk away.
Kasper watches them.

Heaves a HUGE sigh of relief.
Jefty comes up to him.
Eyes bugged out.

JEFTY
Holy fucking SHIT.
I would have pissed my fucking PANTS.

KASPER
I did.
(looks down)
Lucky for me they’re black --

INT. SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Kelsey and Ronan stand over
Kasper’s dead body.

She lights up a smoke.
Shakes her head.

KELSEY
This job just went from
bad to worse to FUCKED.

RONAN
So what do we do with the body?

KELSEY
I’m thinking --

She exhales a cloud of smoke.
Starts pacing around the room.

KELSEY
Little fucker.
I have an ace up my sleeve
that I was gonna play,
and that refried beaner
had to gum up the works --

RONAN
What’s the ace?

KELSEY
There was one name that the police had
that wasn’t on the cell phone.

RONAN
Really?

KELSEY
Yeah.
Figured Jackie deleted it
because of a bad breakup,
and that maybe she was some kind of
unstable bitch.
(smiles)
Just the kinda broad that would
pull this kinda stunt.
Know what I mean?

RONAN
Uh -- yeah.
(beat)
What’s her name?

KELSEY
Doll Montana.
Right out of Raymond Chandler, huh?

RONAN
No shit.

KELSEY
Figured I’d wait until late at night
and surprise her.
(gestures at the body)
But now, this --

RONAN
Tell you what.
Why don’t I stick him
under the bed for now,
you go talk to this Doll broad,
and then when you get back
we’ll dispose of Dirty Sanchez.

KELSEY
Good idea.
You should be here when
the others come back.

RONAN
Yeah.

KELSEY
Okay.
I’ve got my cell
in case of an emergency.

She goes to the door.
Puts her hand on the knob.

KELSEY
Hang tight.
I’ve got a gut feeling about this.

RONAN
You know what they say.
Always trust your gut.

Kelsey nods.
Opens the door. Leaves.

Ronan waits a beat.
Goes to the door.
Takes off the ‘do not disturb’ sign.

Opens it.
Peers down the hallway.

Puts it on the outside.
Goes out into the hallway.

Quietly shuts the door.
Then starts following her --