Never A Dull Moment

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of LITTLE GIRL BLUE, it's a clusterfuck of epic proportions when private eye Carrie Love rescues undercover stripper from the evil clutches of white slave trafficker Tolly Chill on Christnas Eve, then gets the news that her mother's had a stroke ...


INT. GERO’S MANSION - STUDY - NIGHT
Tolly and Gero stand in the studio.

Tolly’s holding a hand-held
GPS tracking device.

He looks at it. Squinting.

TOLLY
She hasn’t gotten that far.

GERO
Fucking IDIOT.
How could you let her get away?

TOLLY
She was fucking tied up, Pop.
Bound and gagged, the whole deal.
(beat)
I KNOW how to immobilize a hostage --

A KNOCK at the door.

GERO
Who the FUCK is it?

PORKPIE (O.C.)
It’s me, boss.

GERO
Get your ass IN HERE.

The door opens.
In walks Porkpie.

PORKPIE
Still can’t find her, sir.

TOLLY
That fucking detective
helped her escape.
I know it.
She followed me from the club.

Fucking bitch dissed me.
I’ll show her.

GERO
You let a PRIVATE DICK
follow you here? You IDIOT.
Get your stupid ass OUTTA HERE
and go GET ‘EM.
Take Porkpie, and bring Aldo and Mick.

TOLLY
I’m on my way.
(to Porkpie)
Come on.

He goes to the door.

GERO
God help me, if you
don’t get both of them,
there’s gonna be HELL to pay.

INT. CARRIE’S OLDS - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Carrie drives like a maniac.
She runs a red light. Cars HONK.

BLUE
Do you have to drive so FAST?

CARRIE
I’m sorry, but my brother
was killed in a hit and run,
my mother had a stroke,
and my stepmother
is on her way to visit --
and in my family,
that’s the Axis of Evil.

BLUE
Holy shit. I’m -- sorry.
(beat)
So we’re -- going over there?

CARRIE
I’m sorry, but I have to.
Just for a sec.
We still gotta figure out
what to do about that ankle cuff.
That greasy chucklehead
is gonna be on our tail pretty soon.

BLUE
You don’t know how to get it off?

CARRIE
I wish I did, but I never --
(beat)
WAIT a minute.
(grabs her cell, dials a number)
Bernie.
It’s me.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. BAY STREET - BUNGALOW - NIGHT
A few blocks from the beach in Santa Monica.
On a leafy street, a Craftsman bungalow
divided into apartments.

INT. BERNIE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Clean, but spare.

A MAN sits watching a football game
on the TV in a tiny living room.

Meet BERNIE KEKO (40’s),
Carrie’s ex-partner.
And ex-husband.

Rugged good looks.
A bit gone to seed.
But still a player.

He cradles the phone under his chin.
Reaches for some popcorn.

BERNIE
I can’t talk right now, Carrie.
I’m watching the game.
(at the TV)
Go, GO, GO!

CARRIE
It’s an emergency.

BERNIE
Did someone DIE?
(at the TV)
C’mon ref, FOUL.

CARRIE
Yeah.
My brother died,
my mother had a stroke, and --

BERNIE
I’m really sorry,
but what does that
have to do with me?
As you might remember,
we’re DIVORCED --
and it’s CHRISTMAS EVE.
(watches the TV)
GODDAMMIT.

CARRIE
Bernie, listen to me --
I wouldn’t bother you
if it wasn’t an emergency.
I’ve got a client with me
that was just KIDNAPPED,
and now that I’ve RESCUED her,
I’d like to take off the
electronic ankle cuff
the bad guys put on her.
(beat)
She’s twenty years old, Bernie.
She’s a kid.
And she’s scared shitless.
Can you help me or not?
I’ve gotta visit the family,
and I’d rather not have a
bunch of white slave traffickers
follow me there.

BERNIE
Never a dull moment
when you’re around --
(beat)
What model is it?

CARRIE
Hold on --
(to Blue)
The cuff.
Can you see who
the manufacturer is?

Blue puts her foot
up on the seat. Looks.

BLUE
It says -- Hawk.

CARRIE
(to Bernie)
It’s a Hawk.
Does the department use that?

BERNIE
Hell if I know.
Just cut the fucker off.
Use some tin snips or something.
(at the TV)
SCORE!

CARRIE
Do you have tin snips?

BERNIE
I do, but --

CARRIE
BERNIE.

BERNIE
Goddamit, Carrie.

CARRIE
I know. I know.
I owe you one.

BERNIE
You owe me FIVE.

CARRIE
I’ll never bother you again.
Promise.

PUSH IN ON Bernie.
Royally pissed.
He sighs.

BERNIE
What’s the address?