The Days Of Wine And Lesbos

Happy New Years Eve, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of LITTLE GIRL BLUE, things get a little tricky when private eye Carrie Love has to defend her family, her ex and her new client against a home invasion during a freak snow storm in Beverly Hills on Christmas Eve...


EXT. MANSION - BACK YARD - NIGHT
Aldo and Mick walk over to Tolly and Porkpie.
Freezing cold.

ALDO
Power’s out.

MICK
So’s the phone.

TOLLY
Good work.

PORKPIE
I’m freezing my nuts off, boss.

TOLLY
You think I’M having fun, chuckle-head?
(looks around)
There’s a pool house over there.
Porkpie and I will go and look around
for stuff we can use to get in.
You two go check the garage,
see if there’s a ladder or something.

PORKPIE
Let’s do it.

TOLLY
Meet back here in five minutes. Got it?

They all nod. Cold. Miserable.

TOLLY
Hey, cheer up. It’s fucking CHRISTMAS.

INT. MARGO’S MANSION - STUDY - AT THAT MOMENT
Carrie hands a rifle to Eva. The other to Blue.

CARRIE
You two take these.
They’re easy to shoot.
Just remember to hold it
against your shoulder, it’s got a kick.

Eva and Blue nod.

EVA
I was a marksman in college.
Won the blue ribbon in Berlin Technical Institute.

CARRIE
Excellent.

BLUE
I used to play Charlie’s Angels with my sister.

CARRIE
Good enough.
(to Bernie)
Why don’t you give the Baretta to Seth.

BERNIE
Okay.
(shows him)
This is an automatic weapon.
Has nine rounds in the clip,
one in the chamber. It has a safety --
(slides it)
See?
(slides it back)
It’s off now, so you can’t hurt anyone.
Any shit goes down, slide it back
like I just showed you. Got it?

SETH
(takes it)
Got it.

BERNIE
I don’t have an extra clip for it,
cause it’s my back-up piece.
So use your bullets wisely.

Everyone looks around.
The reality of this is sinking in.

CARRIE
Okay, Bernie and I will patrol upstairs.
The rest of you stay here and sit tight.

SETH
Let me come with you.

EVA
No, you stay here, protect
your mother and the young lady.
I go patrol with them.
(raises the rifle, takes aim)
I can hit a moving target at one hundred yards.

BERNIE
She’s got a point.

CARRIE
Okay. Let’s do it.

EXT. NEARBY SIDE STREET - AT THAT MOMENT
A PRIVATE SECURITY VEHICLE stops in front
of a giant wall of shrubbery hiding a large estate.

INT. PRIVATE SECURITY VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
Private security guard TIP SNELLING (50)
takes a sip from a flask.

Short and squat. Red-nosed. Grey-haired. No family.
An ordinary Joe drinking his life away in a safe, dull job.

TIP
Merry Christmas, you rich bastards.
(toasts)
To protect and --
(drinks)
Fuck yourself.

He picks up his walkie talkie. CLICKS it on.

TIP (CONT’D)
(into the walkie)
Command to base. You read me?

BORED FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Base here. What’s up, Tip?

TIP
Not a hell of a lot. Quiet.

BORED FEMALE VOICE
Of course it’s fucking quiet. It’s Christmas.

TIP
You gonna go see family tonight?

BORED FEMALE VOICE
Yeah. Leaving in about fifteen minutes.
How about you?

TIP
Nah. Need the overtime.

BORED FEMALE VOICE
Well, stay warm.
Radio said this freak storm is
gonna get worse before it gets better.

TIP
Roger and out. Have a holly jolly.

He clicks off the walkie.
Takes another sip from his flask.

Rests his head against the seat.
Closes his eyes.

TIP (CONT’D)
Best time of year, my ass.

EXT. MANSION - BACK YARD - AT THAT MOMENT
A ladder rests against the side of the house.
Reaches up to a second story window.

Tolly and Porkpie stand next to it, looking up.
Mick holds a PICK-AXE. Aldo, an oil lamp.

TOLLY
(to Mick and Aldo)
You go climb up, smash a window.
Go in. We’ll follow you.

MICK
Let’s do it.

ALDO
Yeah. Get inside and warm up.
(laughs)
Then get us some girlie.

TOLLY
There’s been a change of plan.
We’re gonna whack both of ‘em.

MICK
Both of ‘em? The stripper, too?

TOLLY
What, you got snow in your ears?

ALDO
What about the other people in the house?

TOLLY
What do you think.

ALDO
Good thing I brought a couple extra clips.

INT. MANSION - STUDY - AT THAT MOMENT
Seth paces back and forth in front of the fireplace.
Practices clicking the safety on and off.

Blue sits on the couch.
Holds the rifle on her lap.

Margo sleeps peacefully.
Layla stands near the door.

LAYLA
I need to use the ladies room.

SETH
Go down the hall to the foyer.
Second door on your right.

LAYLA
Thanks. I’ll be right back.

SETH
Be careful.

She tiptoes out.

BLUE
Your mother’s -- a character.

SETH
You can say that again.

He looks at her.
Comes over to the couch.
Sits next to her.

BLUE
Guess it runs in the family.

SETH
You mean my sister.

BLUE
Yeah. But she’s cool.
She’s helping me even though I can’t afford it.

SETH
Carrie’s cool.
(beat)
She and my Mom have a -- tricky relationship.

Blue puts the gun down next to her.
Scoots a little closer.

BLUE
You know what they say about mothers and daughters.

SETH
(touches her arm)
Kind of like -- like father, like son?

BLUE
(touches his leg)
We shouldn’t be doing this.

SETH
Not at a time like this.

And they kiss.

INT. MANSION - SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY - AT THAT MOMENT
Carrie, Bernie and Eva walk down the
lushly furnished main hallway upstairs.
Guns at their sides.

BERNIE
Looks just the same.
(turns, to Carrie)
You remember that Thanksgiving weekend we stayed here,
and your mother made us sleep in separate rooms?

CARRIE
Well, we weren’t married yet.
And you know my mom.

BERNIE
I had to fucking sneak in your room like I was sixteen.

They both smile. Remembering.

EVA
Why couldn’t the two of you work it out?
It seems like there is still chemistry.

CARRIE
I had an itch -- and I scratched it.

BERNIE
An itch? That’s a good one.
(sings)
The Days of Wine and Lesbos --

Carrie stops.
Gives Bernie a look that kills.

CARRIE
I think we should split up.
Check all the windows. They could be --

Glass SHATTERS. A big THUD.
CRASHING noises behind the door
they’re standing in front of.

EVA
Oh my GOD.

BERNIE
It’s THEM.

CARRIE
And they’re in MY ROOM.

Carrie CLICKS the safety on her Glock.
Moves to the left of the door.
Signals to be quiet.

Bernie SHOVES a clip in his Baretta.
Moves to right side.

BERNIE
(whispers to Eva)
Go down the hall, around the corner.
Wait for us.

EVA
(CRACKS the rifle bolt)
Screw that. I’ll cover you.

She opens the door across from them.
Goes in the room.

Closes it until all we see
is the barrel of her rifle.

IN THE STUDY
Seth and Blue pull apart.

BLUE
What the FUCK was that?

SETH
Someone’s trying to get in.

They grab their guns.
Seth goes to the door. Listens.

UPSTAIRS
Carrie leans toward the door.

CARRIE
We know you’re IN THERE.
Come out with your HANDS UP
and we won’t KILL you.

BERNIE
We’ve got you SURROUNDED.
You’ll never make it out of here ALIVE --