Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Your Burka Or Mine?


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of LEGS, Episode Two, we meet Israeli mob boss and Marnie's father Nuri Hadar, who's wondering where his daughter is, not knowing that she's hired private eye Carrie Love to disengage herself from the family. Meanwhile, Carrie and officer Megan Paul arrive at Nuri's door to deliver the bad news ...


EXT. BEACH FRONT CONDO - DAY
A white, four-story edifice to fancy living
right on the sand on the Marina Peninsula.

But the paint is flaking off in places,
and the foundation is cracked and crumbling.

INT. BEACH FRONT CONDO - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Mournful Israeli folk music plays over --

NURI HADAR, (50’s), Marnie’s father,
Standing in front of a giant window.

Big and tall, with snow white close-cropped hair
with a matching geometric close-cropped beard.

He’s quite the stylish mob boss,
resplendent in designer sweats,
gold chains and a Rolex.

Smoking a huge cigar.
Staring at the ocean. Thinking.

The song ends.
He look at the old-school component stereo.
Shakes his head wistfully.

NURI
They don’t sing ‘em like that anymore --

A GORGEOUS MODEL-TYPE (30’s)
lies on a nearby couch, smoking a cigarette,
poking and texting her smart phone, looks up.

GORGEOUS MODEL TYPE
No shit. Thank god for small miracles.
You got any Joan Jett?

Meet ZIVAH OPHIR, Nuri’s girl-toy.
Rail-thin. Black hair down to her ass.
Long, dagger-like nails.

NURI
That is classic folk song, Zivah --
about our homeland.

ZIVAH
The homeland can kiss my Louboutins.

Leron and Tal walk in the room.
In unison, they pull out cigarettes,
LIGHT them with a CLICK of their lighters.

NURI
Any word?

LERON
No one has seen her.

TAL
Is like she disappeared off face of earth.

NURI
Try and do something nice for someone,
and this is thanks I get.
(sighs)
How is producer?

LERON
Still in coma.

NURI
Goddammit.
I said work him over,
not fuck him up.

TAL
Is fine line, father.

EXT. MARINA PENINSULA - SIDE STREET - DAY
Carrie’s vintage Porsche
is parked right near the sand.

INT. CARRIE’S PORSCHE - CONTINUOUS
Carrie and Megan sit in the front seat,
munching on fast food. Sipping sodas.

CARRIE (O.C.)
Since Bernie wouldn’t help me with the case,
I asked Meg. You know the drill.
Strength in numbers.
(beat)
That’s right.
When the going gets tough,
the tough get laid.
(beat)
I still had feelings for Meg
and really wanted to be friends.
I just hoped I wasn’t
taking advantage of her good will.
I think if I asked her to
go hitchhiking in Afghanistan,
she’d say ‘your burka or mine?’

Carrie finishes her fries.
Wipes her mouth with a napkin.

CARRIE
Thanks for coming along, Meg.

MEGAN
Hey. I can’t think of a better way
to spend my lunch break.
In N’ Out burgers,
then meet a vicious Israeli mob boss.
What’s not to like?

CARRIE
It’s probably better that
he doesn’t know you’re a cop.

MEGAN
Right.

She pulls out her gun.
Opens the glove compartment.

Puts it in. Closes it.
Looks at Carrie.

MEGAN
Don’t worry.
I’ve got another one
strapped to my ankle.
Just in case.

CARRIE
But you’re a tourist wrangler.

MEGAN
In Venice Beach.

CARRIE
Touche.

Pause.

MEGAN
So -- is she better in bed?

CARRIE
I’m not gonna go there.
(off her look)
It’s apples and oranges.
We have chemistry.

MEGAN
Better living through chemistry --

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