Thursday, July 12, 2012

Pole Position


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of LEGS, Episode Two, wannabe movie starlet Marnie Hadaar finds out that the producer she had dinner with, Jackie Flowers, was beaten up and put in the hospital. Meanwhile, equestrienne police officer Megan Paul visits her former flame, private eye Carrie Love, only to find her 'fresh out of bed' with porn star Laura Lang ...


EXT. WILSHIRE BOULEVARD CANYON - NIGHT
A BLACK MERCEDES COUPE whizzes through light traffic
headed west toward the beach.
Then stops at a light.

INT. MERCEDES - NIGHT
Behind the wheel is MARNIE HADAR (20’s),
budding starlet deluxe.

Two scoops of vanilla,
brought to you by the letters D&G.

Tousled mane of strawberry blonde.
Easy on the eyes.

She grips her smart phone
in her glitter-nailed fist.
Speed-dials a number. Listens.

MARNIE
Amber, it’s me. Pick up.

AMBER (O.C.)
(electronic)
Hey, I was just gonna call you.
You had dinner with that
producer tonight, right?
Jackie Flowers?

MARNIE
Yeah. It went GREAT.
I got the audition.
I’m so excited I could plotz.

AMBER (O.C.)
I just saw on TMZ that somebody
beat the shit out of him.
He’s in a coma.

MARNIE
WHAT? But I just SAW him --
(beat)
Oh, shit -- what about my audition?

AMBER (O.C.)
You think maybe your father
had something to do with it?

The light changes to green.

MARNIE
What do you mean?

AMBER (O.C.)
You know, like in The Godfather.
The horse’s head in the bed --

MARNIE
(whispers)
Oh, no.

Her eyes bug out.
A car behind Marnie HONKS.

AMBER (O.C.)
Marnie? You there?

EXT. CARRIE’S BUNGALOW - DAY
The early morning sunlight dances through the trees
on Carrie’s leafy Venice walkway street.

A FEMALE COP riding a horse
comes CLIP-CLOPPING down the cracked boulevard.

CARRIE (V.O.)
I know what you’re thinking.
A hot chick cop on a horse?
What the hell?
And she makes house calls?

Meet MEGAN PAUL (25),
cute, curvy and freckled,
sitting astride the stallion
like the archetype she is.

Holding the reins in one hand,
a to-go bag in the other.

CARRIE (V.O.)
I met Meg at Girl Bar
the night I left Bernie --
and when I found out she was
an equestrienne for LA’s finest,
I hitched a ride faster
than you can say 'pole position.'

They approach Carrie’s wooden gate.
The horse NUDGES the door open,
and they CLOP-CLOP onto the patio.

CARRIE (V.O.)
Brought a new meaning
to the phrase riding bare-back --

INT. CARRIE’S BUNGALOW - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Laura walks into the room wearing a robe.
She goes to her purse.

Pulls out a pack of smokes.
Lights one up. Sees Megan.

LAURA
Holy shit.
(over her shoulder)
CARRIE. There’s a COP outside.
On a HORSE.

ON THE PATIO
Megan dismounts, holding the bag.
Walks up to the front door.

CARRIE
Races into the room,
also wearing a robe.
Sees Meg’s horse.

CARRIE
Meg.

LAURA
You know her?

The doorbell RINGS.

CARRIE
She’s -- a friend.

LAURA
You used to fuck a COP?

Carrie goes to the door.
Puts her hand on the knob.

CARRIE
Shhh.
(beat)
Would you go make some coffee?

LAURA
Are you fucking kidding?
I’m staying right here.
This is gonna be fun.

The doorbell RINGS again.

CARRIE
Thanks a lot.

She opens the door.
Meg stands in the doorway, smiling.

MEGAN
Hey, there. I was in the nabe.
Brought you a coffee and croissant from --
(sees Laura)
Oh. Wow.
(beat)
I’m sorry. I should’ve called.

CARRIE
It’s okay.
(gestures)
Laura, Meg. Meg, Laura.

LAURA
Good morning, officer.

MEGAN
Hi.
(hands Carrie the bag)
Here.

CARRIE
Thanks. Wanna come in?

MEGAN
Oh, gosh. No, thanks.
I just remembered --
(turns to go)
I’ve gotta go -- do this thing.

CARRIE
I’ll call you.

Carrie closes the door.
Looks at Laura. Sighs.

LAURA
She’s kinda cute.

CARRIE
You’re positively evil.

LAURA
Was it serious?

CARRIE
I dated her after I left my husband.
You know, on the rebound --

LAURA
Looks like she’s still smitten.

CARRIE
Maybe you two can start a club --

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