Monday, July 30, 2012
Witness For The Persecution
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Episode 15 of LEGS, Episode 2, Carrie's brother Nate and Todd meet with their attorneys to try and screw her out of her inheritance. Meanwhile, at the crime scene, Carrie gets into a fight with her ex-husband Bernie Keko ... and her ex-girlfriend Megan Paul ...
INT. LAW OFFICES - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
A burnished, glossy, airbrushed joint
where Glenn Close would feel right at home.
Todd and Nate sit in giant chairs
on one side of the table with their
ATTORNEYS (50’s), a pair of stone-faced,
CARRIE’S ATTORNEY, a big, jovial-looking fellow
sits on the other side.
Where the hell is she?
I told her the meeting was at one.
When did you tell her?
So she said she’d be here?
I sent her an email.
I told you to call her.
You sent an email the same day as the meeting?
Didn’t it occur to you that she might be busy?
Oh, I’m sure she’s 'busy' --
Your mother told me she’s a private detective.
I would imagine that sometimes involves
long hours on a stakeout?
Maybe. I guess.
From what I gather,
you don’t have a very close relationship,
possibly even a hostile one.
It would seem to me that you
avoided informing her of the meeting
until the last minute
for your own personal gain.
What’s that supposed to mean?
Her not showing up makes her
look bad in your eyes,
gives you more ammunition
for making your case --
that’s she’s immature, irresponsible --
when in fact, she’s a hard-working woman
attending to her business.
That’s a good one.
She wouldn’t know the meaning of
'hard work' if it bit her on --
That’s right. How could I forget.
You mother tells me you’re a --
(looks at his notes, smiles)
I’m sure that’s even harder work
than chasing dangerous criminals.
Todd. Calm down.
But he --
(to Carrie’s attorney)
We’ll reschedule the meeting,
Have your office do it through mine.
Can I give you a little unsolicited advice?
You might want to consider the possibility
that you’re siding with the wrong sibling.
Do you really think you can deny
what’s due to your older sister?
And he leaves.
What do you mean, wow?
Maybe he’s right.
I mean, dad did change his mind
about leaving her something.
He just couldn’t do anything about it
because of the irrevocable trust.
(off Todd’s look)
But if he intentionally destroyed
the original signed copy of the will --
Their attorneys exchange glances.
INT. NURI’S CONDO - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Carrie stands in the middle of the room
with Bernie and Megan.
She CLICKS her cell phone shut.
Looks at them.
Where are they?
Not far. Safe house is up in Venice,
right off Speedway. Take five minutes.
Hot sox. Let’s go.
The two Uniform Cops walk into the room.
MIKE HUNT (30’s), a giant,
hyper-masculine hulk shrugs.
Place is clean.
The other uniform cop, CLIFFORD SIM (20’s),
tall, thin, great-looking
and totally metrosexual chimes in.
Yeah. They have horrible taste,
but nothing we can bust them for --
Although the sculpture of an
eagle killing a rodent
SHOULD be against the law.
You get their location?
Yep. Carrie will take the lead,
I’ll follow her, and you two follow me.
Hey. Who’s the giving orders around here?
This is my case.
Be my guest --
Meg and I will go in my car,
and you all follow me in yours.
Isn’t that what Bernie just said?
Oh, wow. Now I get it.
I thought there was
major tension in the room --
(off their looks, to Megan)
You’re the girl Carrie shacked up with
after she left Bernie.
How did you --
Does the whole force know?
Are you kidding?
You’re a legend.
The whole department wanted
to take a crack at her.
So if Carrie’s a legend,
what does that make me?
You don’t want to know.
What is this, high school?
Let’s get a move on.
Carrie’s cell phone RINGS.
She fishes it out. Answers it.
This is Carrie --
INT. LAW OFFICES - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
Todd stands near the window
away from the conference table
talking on his cell phone.
Where the hell ARE you.
We have a MEETING.
Mom told me about that.
I sent you an EMAIL.
Yeah, same day as the meeting.
I’m in the middle of a case right now,
little brother, so you’re
gonna have to reschedule.
And this time, give me more notice,
you fucking control freak.
How DARE you --
How dare YOU.
Have your people call my people,
THEN you can shove it up your ASS.
(CLICKS the phone shut)
Ten points for the cuckold.
How did you guess.
Easy. You always invent new swear words
when it’s about your family.
'Cuckold?' What’s a cuckold?
I told you didn’t want to know --