Smooth Criminal

Happy Monday, crime slicksters. You ready to get the week started off right? Ready for a hot ride to hell? For some hardboiled-pulp action so hot it burns? Then get your asses over to the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's episode of LITTLE GIRL BLUE, where things are starting to pick up ... and so are the chicks.

Amateur stripper/college coed Blue Wonder is being held captive in the study of strip club manager Tolly Chill's Hollywood Hills mansion after she tried to escape ... while private eye Carrie Love tries to rescue her. But first, she must escape Tolly's goons outside in the parking lot ...

INT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - STUDY - NIGHT

A home office. Blinds drawn. Dark and quiet.

Soundproofed. Blue cowers in the corner.

Porkpie locks the door.

BLUE

Please don’t hurt me.

PORKPIE

(walks toward her)

Don’t be silly.

Tolly couldn’t find you.

He got worried.

(smiles)

C’mon. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

Blue GRABS a lamp. Raises it like a club.

BLUE

Stay AWAY from me.

Porkpie GRABS it with a meaty paw.

Shakes his head. Grins.

PORKPIE

Feisty little thing, aren’t you?

She makes a fist.

Tries to HIT him.

He GRABS it. SQUEEZES.

BLUE

OW.

He pulls a rag out of his pocket.

SHOVES it in her face.

She goes LIMP.

HITS the floor, THUD.

Porkpie shakes his head.

Pulls out his cell phone.

Punches in a number. Listens.

PORKPIE

It’s me, boss.

(beat)

Yeah, I found her.

She was trying to split.

(beat)

In the study.

IN THE CORRIDOR

Snooty gets in Carrie’s face.

SNOOTY CATERER

Oh YEAH?

CARRIE

Yeah, I QUIT.

Whaddaya think of that?

SNOOTY CATERER

I think you’re stupid.

If you quit, you won’t get paid.

Now get your ass in the kitchen

and get another plate.

TOLLY

Appears. Walking quickly toward them.

He sees Carrie. Stops.

TOLLY

YOU.

CARRIE

(sees him, to Snooty)

Shove it up your ASS.

And she SPRINTS off in the opposite direction.

TOLLY

STOP THAT WOMAN.

Carrie gets to the end of the corridor,

DARTS to the left.

TOLLY

Takes off after her.

CARRIE

Gets to a set of double doors,

BANGS through them into --

THE KITCHEN

A madhouse of COOKS, BUTLERS, CATERERS.

Carrie RUNS through. Everybody JUMPS back.

Tolly BURSTS in. Looks around. Stops.

FAT COOK

(points)

She went that way.

He NODS, takes off after her.

EXT. MANSION - CONTINUOUS

Carrie SLAMS out the back door.

RACES over to a row of cars in the staff parking lot.

DIVES behind a old Toyota.

Tolly RACES outside. Stops.

Looks around. WHIPS out his cell.

TOLLY

We’ve had a security breach.

I need every available man in the back.

Subject is female, dark haired, dressed like a caterer.

(listens)

Tall, big boobs --

(listens)

Just get your asses OUT HERE.

Tolly looks around. Walks over to the cars.

CARRIE

Hears his footsteps.

Crawls over to the next car over.

TOLLY

DASHES to the end.

TURNS the corner. Looks.

CARRIE

Scuttles across the cement between two cars.

ROLLS under the Toyota. Listens.

Tolly’s footsteps get nearer.

TOLLY (O.C.) (CONT'D)

I know you’re out here.

(pulls out his gun)

I’m not gonna hurt you.

I just wanna talk to you.

Carrie takes off a shoe.

WHIPS it to the side.

It HITS a garbage can with a BANG.

TOLLY

Turns at the sound.

RACES over to the trash cans.

TOLLY (CONT’D)

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

TWO GOONS

Come out the back door.

Tolly sees them. They trot over.

ITALIAN GOON

Hey, boss.

IRISH GOON

You find her?

TOLLY

Jesus fucking Christ.

Took you long enough.

He puts a finger to his mouth.

Shhhh. Nods at the cans.

KICKS one over.

LEAPS into the gap. Nothing.

TOLLY (CONT’D)

GODDAMMIT.

CARRIE

Rolls out from under the car.

Takes off her other shoe.

WINGS it in the other direction.

It hits a tree with a CRACK.

TOLLY

Hears it.

TOLLY (CONT’D)

THIS WAY, c’mon --

And they RACE OFF.

CARRIE

Slowly gets up.

Peers over the roof of the car.

Watches them.

Then starts walking in the opposite direction.

CARRIE

'Smooth Criminal.'

(beat)

Not.