Dirty Little Bad Girls

Hello, Friday, criminal element. TGIF. Thank God I'm Fucked. Welcome back once again to a place where you can shake of the banality of your tortured existence, and revel in the dark arts. So c'mon in, pull up a sawed-off shotgun, put up your feet ... and take aim ...

Screened SEVEN again last night for the first time in many moons, and was once again blown away by David Fincher's genius. What a compelling, riveting, dark, nasty, literate piece of work. I forgot how creepy Kevin Spacey was in it. And Brad Pitt? Always underrated, I think. He's superb -- and was nice to see Morgan Freeman playing someone simpler, before he started playing roles like 'God.' And I almost liked Gwynneth Paltrow (not a fan) ... just wished I could have seen her head in the box at the end.

Onto today's joint from DAZED, BEAUTIFUL & BRUISED. First up, Carrie and Ilona do surveillance on Dina Darr, where they learn her big secret -- and we learn something shocking about Carrie's new flame Laura Wood. Then Bernie Keko examines the dead hipster's body at the morgue, and makes a discovery of his own ...

***

EXT. OCEAN AVENUE - NIGHT

The haunting, sexy, Euro-cool sounds of Hooverphonic over --
Dina’s 100k convertible cruises past the Santa Monica pier.

The sleek German vehicle slows, makes a turn into --

EXT. DINA’S BEACH HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

A big, Cape Cod-style place on a primo lot on the beach.

The Benz pulls in. Parks. Dina gets out. Goes inside.

ON THE STREET

Ilona’s black ghost pulls up to the curb.

INT. DINA’S BEACH HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The rumpled beauty throws off her purse,

pick up a remote, punches on MUSIC --

some 60’s swinging cocktail croon.

Happily swerves down a hallway.

IN THE KITCHEN

She POPS the cork off a bottle of wine.

IN THE VAN

Carrie and Ilona listen on headsets.

ILONA

Someone’s getting a buzz.

CARRIE

The question is -- is she alone?

IN THE KITCHEN

She dials a number on her cell.

Sips her merlot.

DINA

Klaus?

SPLIT SCREEN WITH:

INT. KLAUS SPEER’S STUDIO - EDIT BAY - AT THE SAME TIME

KLAUS SPEER (40'S), German Eurotrash snuff film director deluxe,

sips a flute of champagn. Rubs his gums. His eyes FLASH.

KLAUS

You’re late. Do you have any idea how bad you’ve been?

DINA

(bows head)

I’m sorry -- sir.

KLAUS

(SLAPS the counter)

Did you bring home the dailies?

DINA

I’m afraid I -- I --

(beat)

Left them at the studio. I, uh -- forgot.

We had an -- an emergency.

KLAUS

You FORGOT?

You LEFT THEM at the studio?
(ominous)

What kind of emergency?

Pause.

DINA

I -- shot someone. Killed them. It was a mistake --

they weren’t supposed to be real bullets.

KLAUS

You nasty -- filthy -- dirty little girl.

How could you do that.

After all I’ve done for you.

I can’t begin to express my disappointment.

My complete dismay.

(beat)

Such a bad, bad girl.

Do you know what we DO to dirty little bad girls?

INSIDE THE VAN
Silence.

Dina breathes heavily.

DINA (O.S.)

You -- you --

CARRIE

(aroused)

What?

Ilona stares at her.

CARRIE (CONT'D)

What. Don’t look at me like that.

(beat)

You’re taping this, right?

IN KLAUS’ STUDIO

He smiles into the wireless

clipped to his leather jacket.

KLAUS

We start principal photography.

ACROSS THE ROOM

Laura sits in a director’s chair.

Sips from a glass of wine.

LAURA

And let the bodies fall where they may.

INT. MORGUE - DAY

Brightly lit, antiseptic. Deep-freeze cold.

Bernie stands by the door, listening on his cell phone.

Two Medical Examiner PARAMEDICS,

KENNY, white, and KENDRICK, black,

wheel in a BODY BAG on a gurney.

KENNY

You get your skins?

She give you a lil’ somethin-somethin?

The cultured, British national stops the cart.

KENDRICK

(quiet, nasty)

You redneck git --

I’m from London, stop with the bloody Ebonics.

Bernie talks into his cell.

KEKO

Carrie, if you’re there, pick up.

I know you’re mad, and I don’t blame you,

but something’s happened. We need you to --

(beat)

Fuck.

(sees the body)

Is that the motel room -- ?

KENNY

Freak show? Uh -- yeah.

Goddamn thought I’d seen everything.

Fucking Alpo time, dude.

KENDRICK

I must say I was impressed with the attention to detail.

The victim is not only wearing a choke chain and a collar,

but according to his tags --

it would appear he’s had all his vaccinations.

KENNY

Rows and rows of the shit.

We’re talking major hypodermic action,

fuckin’ AIDS five-hundred.

KEKO

(walks over)

Open up the cinch-sack.

The big Jamaican-Brit zips open the grey plastic,

revealing --the HIPSTER CLERK.

Wearing the dog costume.

KEKO (CONT’D)

Kinky. Disembowel freaky Fido.

Kendrick zips down the furry body,

revealing -- The clerk’s chest.

Stippled with rows of vicious puncture wounds

like bloody dominoes.

KEKO (CONT'D)

Whoever did this skipped their anger management class.

(looks closer)

It looks like a -- pattern.

KENNY

Like someone played a buncha 'pick-6’s'

on his six-pack.

KENDRICK

(to Kenny)

I told you -- it’s a message.

(to Bernie)

It’s the killer’s autograph.

Bernie stares at the human pincushion.

Gets an idea.

KEKO

(to Kenny)

Take off your shirt.

KENNY

What?

KEKO

(whips out his gun)

I said take off your shirt, you fucking rube.

In case you haven’t noticed it,

we’ve got a human chia pet here

leaking out the evidence.

He CLICKS the safety.

The good ol’ boy strips off his top.

Bernie grabs the pale blue cotton,

places it on the body.

CLOSE ON --

Rows of red wounds. Stippled in patterns.

The crimson dots bleed. Start to connect.

Form words --

I’d like to thank the Academy, my Mom, God, my agent --