The Big Guns

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of DAZED, BEAUTIFUL & BRUISED, homicide detective Carrie Love gets some 'assistance' form a former flame. Meanwhile, under-aged serial killer Sparkle Plenty toys with her latest victim ...


EXT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS - PARKING LOT - NIGHT
From a distance we see Dina
chatting with her GUCCI ATTORNEY.
Definitely the 'big guns.'

CARRIE
charges outside, muttering to herself.

CARRIE
Why don’t you just whip them out,
see who’s got the bigger --

She sees Dina. Stops.

The brunette beauty and
her lawyer shake hands.
He leaves.

Dina sees Carrie.
Turns, briskly goes to her car.

CARRIE
turns around. Sprints off toward --

A SURVEILLANCE SUV
A tricked-out monstrosity
with blackened windows.

Carrie RAPS a drumbeat. Then again.
The door opens with a PFFUT, and --

Out pops ILONA RAMIREZ,
a curvy bullet of a woman
stuffed into a leather catsuit.

Armed to the gills.
Packing, too.

ILONA
Hey there, spitfire.
What’cha got on the grill?

CARRIE
I need to borrow your van.
(pulls out wad of cash)
Rent it, actually.
I’m on hiatus.

ILONA
I told you, it’s not a van,
it’s a fuckin’ SUV, girlfren --
got eight cylinders, microwave DSL,
heat-seaking stealth mikes.
This is the law enforcement shit,
lady dick.

CARRIE
Please accept my profuse apologies --
(ton of subtext)
Ilona.

ILONA
Put away the bankroll.
I’m driving.

CARRIE
This could be dangerous, Lona.

ILONA
Yeah, right. That’s what you said
that night on the beach in San Juan.

CARRIE
Don’t remind me.
I’m still having lower back problems.

EXT. 'THE INTERNATIONAL' MOTEL - NIGHT
Flags from around the world
painted on a cinder block bunker.
Behind a gas station in 'The Hood.’

INT. MOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The HIPSTER VIDEO CLERK
is in a human-size dog costume,
tied up with electrical tape on the couch.

The head sits nearby.
Sparkle fastens a ball gag in his mouth.

SPARKLE
Good boy, that’s a good boy.
Now we’re gonna play a few tricks.

The clerk jerks up, stands.
Fights against his restraints.

Sparkle WHACKS him on the ass
with a wooden paddle.

SPARKLE
(whacks on each 'bad')
Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad -- boy!
No treats for you!
(WHACK)
I told Mama not to get
a stray from the pound.

She pulls out a huge, gleaming,
hooked fish-gutting knife.

SPARKLE
Now look what you’re making me do.

The boy’s eyes flash frightened tears.

SPARKLE
I know, it makes me cry when
we have to put doggie to sleep --