Like A Virgin

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of A DISH BEST KILLED, on the houseboat next door, little person Nola Bliss watching B-movie starlet Haven Crayce get up close and personal with lesbian personal trainer Jett Targo ...


INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - DART’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Dart is fast asleep.
Mouth open, like a child.

Haven watches the end credits go by.
Thunderstruck.

HAVEN
(quoting dialog)
'Straight down the line.'

PUSH IN ON Haven’s face. Thinking.

HAVEN
Ankle bracelet --

EXT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - ROOF DECK - MOMENTS LATER
A roof deck outside the bedroom doors.
With an old, oak hot tub.

Steam rises from the
bubbling black water.

Haven steps in. Her perfect, naked
body glistening in the moonlight.

HAVEN
(lowers herself in)
Ahhh --

She angles her waist
at one of the jets of water.

Lowers a bit. Finds the right spot.
Arches her back, a cat in heat.
Closes her eyes. Bites her lip. Shudders.

HAVEN (CONT’D)
Sweet mother of Jesus --

IN JETT’S BEDROOM
She climaxes quietly.
Earth-shattering spasms of pleasure.

IN THE HOT TUB
Haven reaches a shuddering crescendo.

EXT. NEARBY HOUSEBOAT - ROOF DECK
In the moonlight we can see
a female LITTLE PERSON looking
at the Crayce boat through binoculars.
Sipping a can of beer.

Meet NOLA BLISS (30),
four-foot-tall elfin
star of stage and screen.

A blue-eyed redhead.
And a nosy, foul-mouthed party girl.

She lowers the binoculars.
Lights a smoke.

NOLA
What a fucking waste.

EXT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - REAR DECK - DAY
A brilliant, blindingly gorgeous
morning on the marina.

A workout machine has been set up.
The kind that can be adjusted
so someone can pull weights
from different angles.

Right now Haven is
sitting on the seat,
pulling the handles out,
away from her chest.
The weights CLANK-CLANK.

HAVEN
This feels SO GOOD -- I LOVE IT.

The handles go back in.
Haven PULLS OUT on them again.

JETT
(touches Haven’s shoulder)
That’s because we’re opening
up your chest muscles.
After years of being
clenched tight, bent over --
that’s why it feels so good.
(showing off a bit)
We’re doing low weight, lots of reps.
We don’t want any bulk,
just a nice definition.

Haven stops. Looks at Jett’s hand.
Then down at her chest.

HAVEN
Do you think I have
a -- nice definition?

JETT
(pulls hand away)
Uh, yeah.
(looks at watch)
Let’s stretch you out.

HAVEN
I like the sound of that.

Jett lays down a towel.
Haven gets off the machine.

Lies down on the mat.
Looks up at Jett.

HAVEN (CONT’D)
Promise you’ll be gentle?

JETT
(trying to contain herself)
Of course.

Jett kneels.
Takes Haven’s foot,
places it on her shoulder.

A gold anklet glistens in the sunlight.
Jett stares it.

HAVEN
Like my anklet?

JETT
It’s -- nice.

HAVEN
Ever see Double Indemnity?

JETT
Sure.
(tries to compose herself)
Okay, just relax.
I’ll go slowly --

Jett carefully raises Haven’s
glorious, gleaming leg, until she
hears her give out a little moan.

JETT (CONT'D)
That’s good, that’s good.
Just breath into it --

A horn HONKS. Haven looks, sees --

TRIMMER WALTZ
in his Sheriff’s boat.
Right nearby. He waves.

HAVEN
Deputy Waltz.

TRIMMER
(big smile)
Please, I told you --
call me Trimmer,
all my friends do.
Who’s your chum?

HAVEN
This is Jett.
She’s my personal trainer.

JETT
Hello, officer.

TRIMMER
Hey, there.
Not TOO personal, I hope.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Haven stares. Eyes burning
with barely disguised contempt.

TRIMMER (CONT'D)
How’s your husband doing these days?
He feeling okay?

HAVEN
Just peachy.
Eight hours of dialysis,
and he’s fit as a fiddle.

TRIMMER
He’s awfully lucky to have
a gal like you look after him.

The radio SQUAWKS.
Trimmer gets it. Listens.

TRIMMER (CONT’D)
Copy that, I’m on my way --
Roger and out.
(shakes his head)
Got trouble on one
of the luxury yachts.
Yuppie bastard set
the galley on fire.
See you later, Haven.

And he cruises away
with a ROAR of his engine.

HAVEN
Goodbye, asshole.

JETT
He likes you.

HAVEN
Well, I don’t like him.
(a whisper)
I like -- you.

Jett blushes.
Haven gets closer.
Their bodies touch.

HAVEN (CONT’D)
Do you -- like me?

JETT
Like you -- how?

HAVEN
Like this --

Haven softly kisses her.
Pulls back. Surveys the damage.

JETT
(hoarse whisper)
Like that --

Jett kisses back.
They melt into each other.

Jett’s hands stroke Haven’s curves,
slowly, carefully. Like a virgin.

HAVEN
(quiet)
You make me -- shiver.

And their passion takes off
like a blowtorch to dry kindling.

Hands, arms, lips everywhere
in a tornado of sin.

Haven STOPS. Looks around.
Grabs Jett’s hand --

HAVEN (CONT’D)
Not out here.
Come with me.

And pulls her inside the boat.

ON THE BOAT NEXT DOOR
Nola watches with binoculars
through her main window.

She lowers them.
Shakes her head. Wow.

NOLA
The little minx.