Risky Business

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of AFTERHOURS, in the aftermath of rogue cop Vin Vargas shooting Mickey Mertz, Danny reassures his celebrity hostages that he's got things under control ...


INT. THE EXIT ROOM - EARLY MORNING
Danny looks at Vin,
holding his head,
slowly getting up.

DANNY
You okay?

VIN
Yeah.
(looks at Easy)
Asshole.

EASY
Self-defense.
You attacked me.

DANNY
(to Vin)
Apologize to the man.

VIN
What?

DANNY
You heard me.
Apologize.

VIN
For what?
He started it.

DANNY
Vin.
The first rule of
holding people hostage
is to gain their trust.
You lost your temper
and lost their trust.
In order for us to
maintain a sense of order,
they need to trust
we’ll stay cool.

SKY
(to Vin)
Yeah.
Like randomly shooting
one of us.
Did wonders for
my confidence in you.

DANNY
You hear the movie star?
Apologize to the man.

VIN
WHAT?

DANNY
You heard me. Apologize.
Unless you want this
to become a
Lord Of The Flies situation,
we need to remain civilized.

Vin looks down.
Shakes his head.

VIN
I don’t fucking believe this.

DANNY
Vin.

VIN
Jesus fucking Christ.
(low)
I’m -- sorry.

DANNY
Good boy.
Now take care of your leg
and put your fucking pants on.
This ain’t Risky Business.

Trigger-Happy

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of AFTERHOURS, the shit hits the fan when rogue cop Vin Vargas 'accidentally' shoots and kills gay Silverlake hipster drug dealer Mickey Mertz ...


INT. THE EXIT ROOM - EARLY MORNING
Danny picks up his drink. Takes a slug.

DANNY
It was a home invasion.
We ripped off a dirty cop
up in the hills.
Thought it’d be a cinch,
two against one,
but he was in bed with some slut,
and trigger-happy over there --

BANG.

Everyone JUMPS.
Turns and looks at --

MICKEY
Lying on the floor.
Half his face, gone.

DANNY
RACES over.

DANNY
What the FUCK, Vin?
What the fucking fuck did you DO?

Vin stands next to Mickey’s body
in his tighty-whiteys
holding his gun,
lower lip quivering.

VIN
He -- made fun of my underwear.

DANNY
I thought he was gonna cut your pants.

VINCE
Changed my mind.
Gay guy with scissors
anywhere near my crotch?
No fucking way, Jose.

AT THE BAR
Angel hugs Mia,
silently sobbing in his arms.

Casey joins them behind the bar.
Easy looks at Sky.

EASY
(whispers)
We gotta do something.

SKY
(whispers)
You gotta plan?

EASY
I’m thinking, I’m thinking --

NEXT TO MICKEY’S BODY
Danny berates Vin.

DANNY
You fucking idiot.
We were all getting along
and you had to fucking RUIN it.
Now they’re afraid of us.
Now they think they’re gonna die.

VIN
Well, aren’t they?

DANNY
(low)
No. We want them to TRUST us.
This will go ALOT
easier if they cooperate.
Now we have to watch them
in case they try and pull something.

VIN
I don’t see what the big deal is.
Dead fag. So what?

DANNY
That man was a HUMAN BEING, Vin.
And if you weren’t so homophobic,
he’d still be alive --
and your leg would be taken care of.

VIN
So I’ll splash some booze on it
and tie a tourniquet around it.

DANNY
Suit yourself.
But first get him the fuck out of here
before they freak out any more.

VIN
Alright, alright.

He grabs Mickey’s body by the ankles
and drags him out of the room.

All eyes follow him.
Danny walks back to the bar.

Sticks his gun in his his waistband.
Takes a seat.

DANNY
I’m really sorry.
My associate has an itchy trigger finger.
I promise I’ll keep him under control.

Danny grabs the bottle.
Pours himself another drink.

Takes a big gulp.
Vin comes back in.

VIN
I put him in the VIP room.
(off everyone’s silence)
It was an accident, okay?

EASY
You shot him because he was gay.

VIN
No I didn’t.

EASY
Yes you did.
I heard you call him a ‘faggot.’

SKY
Yeah, I did too.

CASEY
I like to fuck girls.
You gonna shoot me, too?

Danny shoots her a look.

VIN
What the fuck IS this?
(to Danny)
You gonna let them talk to me that way?

DANNY
Well, if the shoe fits.

VIN
What the fuck is THAT supposed to mean?

DANNY
You just fucking shot someone
because they’re gay
right in front of their eyes.
I think they’ve got the right
to give you shit about it.

VIN
Wait a minute.
Whose side are you ON?
It was an accident, okay?
The gun just went off.

EASY
Was it because he was
a little bit effeminate?
What if he was macho like me?

VIN
What?

EASY
If you found out I was gay,
would you shoot me?

VIN
You’re not GAY.
You’re a pro baseball player.

EASY
That’s true.
And I’m married.
(smiles)
But I also like to suck cock.

DANNY
Check out Easy Washington
coming out of the closet.
Now that took guts.

VIN
Bullshit.
He’s just fucking with me.

EASY
I’d prove it, but you’re not my type.
Don’t go for the greasy Italian thing.
Hate the taste of pepperoni.
(laughs)
Better check the oil.
Looks like you might be a little low.

VIN
HEY.

Vin CHARGES him.
Easy PUNCHES him in the head, THWUMP.
Vin HITS the floor.

Danny WHIPS out his gun.
Aims it at Easy.

DANNY
Thanks.
I’ve been dying to do that all night --

Art Imitating Life

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of AFTERHOURS, while rogue cop Vin Vargas gets his gunshot wound attended to by Silverlake hipster drug dealer Mickey Mertz, crazed gunman Danny Peel chats up his hostages, especially Oscar-winning screening Casey Montana ...


A CHYRON reads ‘August 16, 5:06 AM’ over --

INT. THE EXIT ROOM - MAIN LOUNGE - EARLY MORNING
Danny sits at the bar
nursing a cocktail.

One of his shirt sleeves
has been cut off.

The gunshot wound on his arm
has been dressed and bandaged.

Vin sits in a booth
with his bloody pants leg sticking out,
pointing his gun at Mickey.

MICKEY
Cutting your jeans would be stupid.

VIN
I’m not taking them off.
You cut Danny’s shirt,
you can cut my pants.

MIKEY
But it’s different.
Danny can put a jacket on,
but it’s gonna look really stupid
with one long leg and one short leg.

VIN
I could give a rat’s ass.
(aims his gun)
Cut the fucking pants. NOW.

MICKEY
Okay, okay.
Stop pointing that thing at me.

VIN
Shut the fuck up and
CUT MY FUCKING PANTS.

MICKEY
Okay. Calm down.
(beat)
Would you mind standing up?
I can’t get to them with
you lying down like that.

VIN
Alright.
But if you touch my junk,
you’re a dead man, got it?

AT THE BAR
Danny sits at the far end.
Looks at Sky, Easy and Angel
at the other end.

Mia looks down.
Like she’s going to cry.

DANNY
(to Mia)
Why so glum, gorgeous?
Play your cards right and
you’ll get out of this alive.

MIA
My mother had a stroke.
I need to go the hospital
and see her.
If you let me go,
I promise I won’t say anything.

DANNY
Sorry, doll.
Ain’t gonna happen.

Casey comes over.
Plops in a stool.
Looks at Mia.

CASEY
Can I get a drink?
I’m starting to sober up.

DANNY
How’s she doing?

CASEY
She’s breathing.
But I really think she
should go to the hospital.
She could die.

DANNY
Yeah, but then her record sales
would go through the roof.

Mia hands Casey her drink.
She takes a sip.

CASEY
So what did you guys do?
Rob a bank?

DANNY
Nah. Don’t do banks.
(beat)
Why do you wanna know?
Think it would make a good movie?

CASEY
Maybe.

DANNY
You wrote ‘Wilshire Boulevard.’

CASEY
Guilty as charged.

DANNY
Great fucking movie.

CASEY
Thanks.

DANNY
I love the part where the intruder
rapes the rich bitch,
but turns out to be the guy
she’s having an affair with.

CASEY
She was based on my boss’s wife
at my last job.

DANNY
(smiles)
What’s that expression?
‘Art imitating life?’

CASEY
(smiles)
Ten points.

The Silence Of The Clams

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of AFTERHOURS, after reviving alcohol-poisoned goth rocker Bettie Black, gunman on the run Danny Peel instructs gay drug dealer/former nurse Mickey Mertz to dress rogue cop Vin Vargas' gunshot wound, much to Vin's dismay ...


INT. AFTER HOURS CLUB - NIGHT
Bettie lies motionless on the floor.
Easy takes her pulse.

EASY
SHIT.

CASEY
What’s wrong?

EASY
She’s got no PULSE.

He starts giving her CPR,
PRESSING his hands on her chest.

Sky and Casey kneel nearby.
Casey grabs her wrist.

SKY
Holy shit.

CASEY
Still nothing.

Easy PUMPS his hands HARDER.

CASEY
Nothing. HARDER.

Easy PUMPS her chest
for all he’s worth.

Bettie JERKS back to life.
COUGHS. Opens her eyes --

BETTIE
Need -- a drink.

And passes out again.
Easy strokes her forehead.

EASY
C’mon, baby.
Stay with us.
(to Sky)
Help me move her
over to a booth.
Make her more comfortable.

Easy and Sky pick her up.
Take her over to a booth.

Carefully lie her down.
Casey walks over.
Sits next to her.

Holds her hand.
Studies her face.

CASEY
She doesn’t look good.
We need to get her
to the hospital.

DANNY
You can take her
after we leave.

Mia comes back in.
Takes her place
behind the bar.

Hands a box of
rice cakes to Danny.

MIA
Here you go.

DANNY
(take it, makes a face)
Great.

MIA
They’re blueberry.

DANNY
Yummy.

He takes one out.
CRUNCHES a bite.

Chews.
SPITS IT OUT.

DANNY
Tastes like fucking cardboard.

VIN
Maybe we could order a pizza.

DANNY
Are you TRYING
to look like an idiot?
We’ll figure out something later.
The first order of business
is getting ourselves patched up.
(to Angel)
You good with that first aid kit?
Take care of a couple gunshot wounds?

ANGEL
I could try.

MICKEY
I can.
I used to be a nurse.

VIN
Why doesn’t that surprise me?

MICKEY
I was a trauma nurse, asshole.

VIN
Hey.
Who you calling an assole, FAGGOT?

DANNY
Enough with the name calling.
Let Florence Nightengale
do his thing and shut the fuck up.

VIN
I’m not gonna let him touch me.

DANNY
You want your leg to get infected?
Get gangrene?

VIN
No, of course not.
(beat)
Okay, okay.

MICKEY
I promise I’ll be gentle --

Nights Of Wine And Roses

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of AFTERHOURS, crazed gunman Danny Peel makes bartender Mia Tanaka go back to the kitchen for food, but on the way she slips into the bathroom and writes a note asking for help. Meanwhile, faded rock star on the skids Bettie Black's binge drinking leads to disaster ...


INT. AFTER HOURS CLUB - NIGHT
Mia starts pouring shots for everyone.
Vin and Angel return,
Angel carrying a first aid kit.

VIN
(to Danny)
Got quite the set-up back there.
Office. Kitchen. VIP room --

DANNY
Any phones?

VIN
In the office.
Disabled it.
(smiles)
One step ahead of you.

DANNY
Good work.
(to Mia)
You got a kitchen.
I’d fucking kill for a
cheeseburger about now.

MIA
(pouring shots)
Sorry.
We don’t serve that.

DANNY
Well, what DO you have?

MIA
Tapas.

DANNY
What the fuck are tapas?

MIA
Spanish appetizers.

DANNY
Then bring me some tapas, barkeep.
I’m positively famished.

VIN
Yeah, I’m starving.

MIA
All we’ve got left
are pickled anchovies.

DANNY
Anchovies?
I fucking HATE anchovies.

CASEY
(smiles)
Why do you think
that’s all that’s left?

DANNY
(to Mia)
You have any crackers or peanuts,
you know, something edible?

MIA
I think we have some rice cakes.
I can go look.

DANNY
Rice cakes?
(beat)
Alright. Whatever.

VIN
Want me to go with?

DANNY
Nah.
There’s no way for
her to get out.

Mia nods.
Heads off to the back.

Bettie watches her go.
Grabs the bottle.
Starts pouring more shots.

BETTIE
This round’s on me.

She DOWNS hers.
Makes a face.

Then PROJECTILE VOMITS
an ARC OF BROWN SPEW
into the air.

FALLS off her stool.
HITS the floor, THWUMP.
Starts going into CONVULSIONS.

CASEY
Holy SHIT.

Easy JUMPS off his stool.
RUSHES over to her.
Takes her hand.

EASY
Somebody gimme a spoon
or something, QUICK.

INT. LADIES’ ROOM - NIGHT
As gorgeous as the rest of the joint.

Mia hurries into a stall.
Grabs a piece of toilet paper.
Takes it to the sink.

Pulls a pen out of her pocket.
Quickly scribbles on it.

Climbs up on the sink.
Reaches up, opens a
casement window.

Flings the note outside.

Star Struck

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of AFTERHOURS, killer on the run Danny Peel holds the group of celebrities in the club hostage at gun point ... but then buys them a round of drinks and chats them up.


INT. AFTER HOURS CLUB - NIGHT
Vin goes to the duffle, zips it open.
Grabs a banded wad of cash.
TOSSES it to Danny.

DANNY
Which one of you is the bartender?

MIA
I am.

DANNY
(SLAPS it down on the bar)
What’s the most expensive scotch you got?

MIA
M-Mcallan’s.

DANNY
I wanna buy a round for the house.

Mia goes behind the bar
to get a bottle and some glasses.

DANNY
(to Sky)
Hey. You’re that movie star.
You’re in all those independent films.

SKY
Guilty as charged.
(weak smile)
With the occasional studio tentpole.

DANNY
Hey. Gotta pay the bills, right?
(nods)
I used to wannabe an actor,
but I really like eating.
(looks around)
Whoah, Nelly. This is celeb-city.
(to Easy)
Easy Washington. My man.
really sorry to hear about your injury.

EASY
Not as much as I was.

Mia gives Danny his glass. He takes a sip.

DANNY
Holy shit is that smooth.
(eyes Bettie)
And what do have we here? Bettie Black.
Big fan. Lost my virginity to your first album.

BETTIE
Really?

DANNY
Nah. Just fuckin’ with you.
I’m more of a classic rock kinda guy.
(sings)
Takin’ care of business --
(sips, looks at Casey)
And who is this lovely creature?

Danny and Casey lock eyes. She blushes.

CASEY
Nobody.
(beat)
I’m a writer.

BETTIE
Shut up.
(to Danny)
She won the Oscar, hello?

DANNY
Oh, yeah.
The media gave you shit
about your tattoos.

CASEY
My agent wanted me to wear
a long-sleeved dress,
but I said ‘fuck that.’

DANNY
Rebel outlaw girl.

Danny drains his glass.
to Mia for another.

DANNY
You gotta first aid kit in this joint?

ANGEL
In the back office.

DANNY
Is there a back entrance?

ANGEL
No.

DANNY
The only way out is the way we came in?

ANGEL
Yeah.

DANNY
Isn’t that against the fire code?

ANGEL
Owner’s tight with the city.

DANNY
You the bouncer?

ANGEL
Yeah.

DANNY
(to Vin)
Vin, go with him to the office
and get the first aid kit
and scope out the rest of the crib.

VIN
(drains his glass)
You got it.

He gets up. Nods at Angel.
They head off toward the back.

Danny sips his drink. Looks at Mickey.

DANNY
What’s your story?

MICKEY
I’m a dealer.

DANNY
Check it out.
Not afraid to admit it.
I like that.

MICKEY
Thanks.

DANNY
What do you deal?

MICKEY
You name it.
Weed, X, coke, shrooms, pills --

DANNY
Maybe I’ll hit you up later.
(off his look)
Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it.
I may be a fugitive from the law,
but I don’t steal from other criminals
unless they fuck with me.

MICKEY
That’s -- great.

DANNY
Are you a top or a bottom?

MICKEY
Excuse me?

DANNY
You heard me. Do you pitch or catch?

MICKEY
I’m -- versatile.

DANNY
I’ll keep that under advisement.

MICKEY
Okay --

DANNY
Relax. Just fucking with you.
(looks around)
C’mon, everybody.
Stop looking like the dog just died.
Let’s PARTY.
(to Mia)
Barkeep. Another round for my friends.

Stand Your Ground

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of AFTERHOURS, crazed criminal on the run Danny Peel bursts into the after hours club and holds the celebrities hostage at gun point ... and then buys them a round of drinks.


INT. AFTER HOURS CLUB - NIGHT
Two BIG MEN BURST INTO THE ROOM.

The bigger guy holds
a sawed-off shotgun,
the other a chrome handgun
and a giant duffle bag.

Bigger Guy aims the shotgun
at the girls at the bar.

BIGGER GUY
Cell phones ON THE FLOOR, NOW.

Meet DANNY PEEL (40’s).
Would be a dead ringer
for George Clooney,
except you can tell
he parties too much.

Arm a bloody mess.
Eyes wild and desperate.
But still kinda hot.

DANNY
CELL PHONES. NOW.

He aims the shotgun
at the ceiling.

FIRES. BANG.
Plaster RAINS DOWN.

Mia SCREAMS.
Bettie and Casey
TOSS their phones.

Sky and Easy TOSS theirs.
Mia DROPS hers.

ANGEL AND MICKEY
Appear in the doorway.

ANGEL
(low)
Holy shit.

MICKEY
(a whisper)
Ohmigod.

Smaller Guy,
bleeding from the leg,
aims his gun at them.

SMALLER GUY
Glad you could join the party.
Toss your phones, NOW.

Meet VIN VARGAS (30’S),
your typical grunt cop
gone to seed. Paunchy.

Dark circles under his eyes.
Sweating like crazy.

Eyes darting back and forth.
Pumped with adrenaline.

ANGEL
Okay, okay.
Don’t shoot.

Angel and Mickey
TOSS their phones.

DANNY
Okay.
Everybody go sit at the bar.
(to Vin)
Smash ‘em.

VIN
You got it.

He drops the bag.
Starts CRUNCHING them
with his boot.

Sky, Easy, Angel and Mickey
move to the bar. Take stools.

DANNY
Okay, everybody.
We’re gonna be here
a little while,
so I want you to get
nice and comfortable.
Do exactly what I say
and nobody gets hurt.
(off their terrified looks)
Just because I’m holding a gun
and covered in blood
doesn’t mean I’m not a nice guy --
so, in the interest of
all of us getting along,
the next round’s on me.
(to Vin)
Vin?

VIN
Yeah?

DANNY
Can I get some of that cash?

VIN
Yeah. Sure.

He goes to the duffle,
zips it open.

Grabs a banded wad of cash.
TOSSES it to Danny.

DANNY
Which one of you
is the bartender?

MIA
I am.

DANNY
(SLAPS it down on the bar)
What’s the most expensive
scotch you got?

MIA
M-Mcallan’s.

DANNY
I wanna buy a round
for the house --

Better Late Than Never

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of AFTERHOURS, we meet the bouncer, Angel Diaz, who reveals to the bartender Mia Tanaka that he owes the mob money and plans to pay them back by selling coke to the celebrities at the club from ... Silverlake hipster/dealer Mickey Mertz, who arrives on the scene, just as someone starts POUNDING on the front the door saying they need help ...


INT. AFTER HOURS CLUB - NIGHT
Sitting at the far end of the bar
is ANGEL DIAZ (20’s),
the bouncer, big and burly.

Also great-looking, like a model.
But looks a bit frayed around the edges.
He chats up Mia.

ANGEL
I’m so fucked.
They’re gonna break my knees.
(low, to himself)
Where the fuck IS he?

MIA
Who you waiting for?

ANGEL
Mickey, my dealer.
He’s gonna give me some credit.

MIA
But you already have coke.

ANGEL
I did, but my apartment
got burglarized last night.
Now I need more to sell
so I can make the vig.

MIA
And you wanna sell it here?
Are you crazy?
You’re lucky Klaus didn’t
fire your ass when
you got caught last time.

ANGEL
I got no choice, Mia.
I’m outta options.
I need to make the vig.

MIA
(nods at the customers)
What makes you sure
they’re gonna buy it?

ANGEL
Please.
Wasted celebrities in an after-hours joint?
We should have a fucking vending machine.

MIA
I don’t get why anybody does a drug
that won’t let you get it up. Stupid.

ANGEL
I told you.
That’s never happened before.

MIA
Well, it’s not gonna happen again,
that’s for sure.

The buzzer RINGS.

ANGEL
That’s him.

He RACES to the door. Unlocks it.
MICKEY MERTZ (30’s) walks in.

Tall, blonde and rakish
in the lastest hipster threads.

Boyish looks a bit fuzzy
due to hard-partying.

Eyes burning from the combination
of chemicals dancing in his head.

MICKEY
I made it.

ANGEL
Got here just in time.
We’re closing soon.

MICKEY
You know what they say,
‘better late than never.’

ANGEL
(fake smile)
Yeah, right.

MICKEY
So where we gonna do this?

ANGEL
VIP room.

MICKEY
Lead on, Macduff.

They head off toward the back.
The buzzer RINGS again.

MIA
Angel, the door.
ANGEL
(over his shoulder)
Tell ‘em we’re closed.

They disappear.
Mia shakes her head.
Walks over to the door.

MIA
Sorry. We’re closed.

ANGRY GUY (O.C.)
It’s an emergency. Open up.

MIA
We’re closed.

ANGRY GUY (O.C.)
I need help. I’m bleeding.

MIA
Then call nine-one-one.

ANGRY GUY (O.C.)
I don’t have a phone.
PLEASE. I need your HELP.

Mia’s cell phone RINGS.
She looks. Answers it.

MIA
Hey, sis. What’s up?
Calling kinda late --

Distracted, she opens the door, listening.
We hear WILD CHATTER on her phone.

MIA
Mom had a STROKE?

Two BIG MEN BURST INTO THE ROOM.
The bigger guy holds a sawed-off shotgun,
the other a chrome handgun
and a giant duffle bag.

Bigger Guy aims the shotgun
at the girls at the bar.

BIGGER GUY
Cell phones ON THE FLOOR, NOW --

Welcome To Hollywood

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 2 of AFTERHOURS, we meet indie hunk movie star Sky Masters, who's sharing a bottle of single malt scotch with pro basketball player Easy Washington ... as well as their big secrets that are going to destroy their careers the next morning ...


INT. AFTER HOURS CLUB - NIGHT

Across the way in a big,
red-leather booth --

Sit a pair of GOOD-LOOKING GUYS
drinking glasses of top shelf
single malt scotch,
deep in conversation.

SKY MASTERS (30’s)
indie hipster movie hunk,
smallish, thin, carefully
ratty-looking takes a sip.
Eyes bleary.

SKY
Nah.
I was a drama nerd.
Couldn’t play worth shit.

EASY WASHINGTON (30’s),
African-American pro baseball player,
big, even better-looking,
swirls his glass.

EASY
Lucky for you --
(takes a sip)
You get injured, you can still act.
I get injured, I get fucking traded.

SKY
There’s other ways you can
fuck up your career.

EASY
Please.
You’re the golden boy.
Critics and audiences love you.

SKY
Yeah, well --
(sips)
They don’t know.

EASY
Know what?
(off his stare)
C’mon, man.
Out with it.
What’s the big secret?

Sky stares at him.
Raises his glass.
Drains it in one gulp.

SKY
Found out I’m HIV-positive.

EASY
Damn.
(beat)
That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re --
I mean, look at Magic Johnson.

SKY
I didn’t get it from fucking.

EASY
You shooting SMACK?

SKY
You wanna say that a little louder?

EASY
Sorry.

SKY
And you wanna know the REAL clincher?
(pours more)
I’m getting married tomorrow.

EASY
Does she know?

SKY
No.

EASY
(raises his glass)
The truth will set you free.

He downs it.

SKY
Now you know what I’m doing here
at five in the morning
instead of being with my fiance.

EASY
Bet that’s a big load off your mind.
(off his look)
Sharing your deepest, darkest secret.

SKY
I guess.

Easy grabs the bottle.
Pours them another.
EASY

The media’s gonna break
a big story about me today.
Major scandal.

SKY
What.
You cheated on your wife?
There’s no way it can be as bad as --

EASY
Wanna bet?
(off his look)
It wasn’t with another woman.

SKY
You’re sleeping with another dude?
Big fucking deal.
Welcome to Hollywood.

EASY
The dude’s another player.

PUSH IN ON Easy’s face.
Resigned to his fate.

Double Vision

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 1 of AFTERHOURS, it's five in the morning at The Exit Room, an exclusive after hours club on the Sunset Strip, where we meet newly-minted Oscar-winning screenwriter Casey Montana and over-the-hill goth-grunge rocker Bettie Black, who are both drowning their sorrows with a little binge-drinking ...


EXT. THE SUNSET STRIP - NIGHT
A CHYRON reads ‘August 16, 4:47 AM.’

An occasional CAR passes by.
An occasional HOOKER works the stroll.

A trio of WASTED PARTY GIRLS (18)
turn a corner and stagger down
a side street looking for their car.

CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON
a SMALL WHITE BUILDING
that was once a bank,
now a high-end designer boutique
at the foot of the Hollywood Hills
in the Sunset Plaza shopping district.

CAMERA GLIDES OVER to the side of the building,
where we see a STAIRCASE to the basement.

CAMERA GLIDES DOWN THE STAIRS
and STOPS at the door.

No window. No sign.
Just a small red buzzer.

INT. AFTER HOURS CLUB - NIGHT
Plush and jazzy. Part Art Deco.
Part tiki lounge.

The dim, pin-spot lighting
makes the joint seem to glow.

Welcome to The Exit Room.
Hot and cold running decadence until dawn.

Standing behind the long, polished bar
is MIA TANAKA (20’s), mixologist deluxe,
shiny black hair down to her ass.

Looking every bit the wannabe actress she is.
Right now she’s cutting up lime wedges
and evesdropping on --

A pair of WOMEN
doing shots of top-shelf tequila.

They SLAM them down, then CRACK
their shot glasses on the bar.

The dark-haired chick grabs the bottle.
Pours two more.

DARK-HAIRED CHICK
(raises hers)
To the best fucking
screenwriter in HOLLYWOOD.

Meet BETTIE BLACK (40),
fading grungy-goth rock star.

Still good-looking, but now
a bit rough around the edges.

But still sexy in revealing,
ripped black threads.

If you squint your eyes.

She lights a new smoke
off the old one.
A crooked grin.

BLONDE BABE
(raises hers)
To the best poet since PATTI SMITH.

Meet CASEY MONTANA (20’s),
white-hot Oscar-winning screenwriter.

Sexy-dirty, working that
vintage pinup look.

The black and blue streaks
in her hair match her outfit.

BETTIE
Patti Smith? Really?

CASEY
Hey.
If you’re gonna compare me
to Quentin Tarantino --

They DOWN them.

BETTIE
Flattery will get your clit sucked.

Bettie pours two more.
They DOWN them.
CRACK their glasses.

CASEY
That’ll grow hair on your tits.

BETTIE
What are you working on now?

CASEY
That bottle. Keep pouring.

BETTIE
Ever seen Leaving Las Vegas?
Wanna write the rock star version?

CASEY
Only if Nic Cage plays you.

BETTIE
Pay him enough, he probably would.

They DOWN them.

BETTIE
Doctor says if I don’t
stop drinking, I’ll die.
(pours more)
Works for me.

CASEY
Hey.
Don’t talk like that.

BETTIE
(downs hers)
It’s the end of the road, baby.
My label says if I don’t go to rehab,
they’re dropping me.

CASEY
(downs hers)
But you don’t seriously mean --

BETTIE
(pours more)
You don’t know my pain.

CASEY
Well, if we’re playing
‘to tell the truth,’
I’m in a bit of a crisis myself.

They raise their shots.
Nod. SLAM them. CRACK.

BETTIE
Oh, yeah?
Having a hard time
spending all that money?

CASEY
No, that’s easy. It’s --
(beat)
I can’t come up with my next story.
I’m blocked.
(off her look)
It took me a year
to write the first one.
I wrote it longhand during
my lunch hour at work,
carefully crafting it.
Now they want another one
right away, and I can’t --
(beat)
Can you imagine the pressure
after winning the Oscar?

BETTIE
Hey.

CASEY
What.

BETTIE
There’s two of you.

CASEY
Two of me --

BETTIE
Got double vision.
See two of you.
(puts hand over one eye)
One --
(takes it off)
Two.

CASEY
I think that calls
for another drink --

Home Is Where The Heist Is

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In the final chapter of BABY HEISTER, after Jo successfully gets rid of the cops that were searching for her and the gang, Kelsey has a proposition for Simon, which he accepts ...


EXT. MARINA PIER - DAY
A row of boats gently bob in the water.
A SHERIFF’S BOAT slowly cruises by
at the end of the pier.

Across the way, we see a PATROL CAR
slowly cruising the waterfront.

EXT. HOUSEBOAT - DAY
A pair of COPS walk up the gangplank.
One of them KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCKS
on the front door. Sighs.

TIRED COP
I can’t believe we gotta check
EVERY single fucking boat.

BLASE COP
I say they’re long gone.

Tired Cop KNOCK-KNOCKS again.

TIRED COP
Anyone home? It’s the police.

The door FLIES OPEN.
Jo appears, wearing a sexy bathrobe,
holding a tray of freshly-baked cookies.
The cops stare.

JO
Hello, officer.
Sorry it took me a moment.
I was just taking these
cookies out of the oven.
Would you like one?
They’re chocolate chip --
(big smile)
And still warm.

TIRED COP
(takes a couple)
Yeah, sure. Thanks.

BLASE COP
(takes one, bites into it)
You seen anybody suspicious-looking
hangin’ around?

JO
You mean like those bank robbers?

BLASE COP
Yeah.

JO
No, I’m sorry.
I was sure hoping to, though.
(winks)
Gets kinda lonely all alone
here on the boat.
(nudges him)
If you know what I mean.

The cops exchange looks.

BLASE COP
Would you mind if we came in
and took a look around?

Jo reaches down.
Unties her robe.
It falls open.

JO
C’mon in, the water’s wet.

TIRED COP
(to Blase)
On second thought --

BLASE COP
(looks away)
Sorry we bothered you, Ma’am.
Have a good day.

They turn. Start walking away.

JO
Hey, wait a minute.
I’ve got a full liquor cabinet --
(watches them go)
Don’tcha wanna PARTY?

INT. HOUSEBOAT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Jo puts the plate of cookies
on the coffee table in front of the couch.

Walks over to a fake
Persian rug on the floor.

Pulls it aside. Reaches down.
Opens a trap door. Looks down.

JO
They’re gone.

Doc climbs up. Then Kelsey. Then Simon.

DOC
Thank god. Kinda cramped down there.

KELSEY
You baked cookies --

SIMON
(takes one)
Smells great.

Kelsey takes one.
Bites into it.
Looks at them.

DOC
So are you -- okay?
I understand if you’re -- upset.

JO
You probably -- have a lot of questions.
Want to -- talk about it.

She takes another bite. Thinking.

KELSEY
Can we talk later?
Right now I just wanna sleep for a year.
(takes another cookie)
After I have a bunch of these.

DOC
We thought we were doing
the right thing, Kelsey.

JO
We’re really sorry.

KELSEY
(softly)
I know.

DOC
We were hoping maybe
we could start over again.

KELSEY
I’d like that.

She chews some more.
Then, the barest hint of a smile.

KELSEY
So what do think about me and Simon
getting married?
(beat)
Mom? Dad?

Doc and Jo exchange glances.
Then look at her.

SIMON
Kelsey?

KELSEY
C’mon. We’d make a great team.
And we’d all be a family.

He looks at Doc. Speechless.

DOC
You’re on your own, kid.

She finishes her cookie.
Rubs her hands on her hips.

Goes to him.
Puts them on his.

KELSEY
You need to THINK about it?

SIMON
No, no -- I, I -- uh --

KELSEY
Then shut up and kiss me, wheelman.

She leans into him.
He drops his cookie.

They kiss. Softly. Tenderly.
Then more passionately.

Start to go at it,
hot and heavy.
No one else in the world.

Doc and Jo watch. Big smiles.
She taps him on the shoulder. He nods.
They start to leave, as we --

FADE TO BLACK

Mommie Dearest

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 54 of BABY HEISTER, Kelsey is stunned to discover that her grandmother Jo is actually her mother, just as robbery/homicide Darryl Rooker walks into their houseboat hideout ...


INT. HOUSEBOAT - DAY

Flint suddenly appears in the doorway.
A bloody mess. He GRABS Kelsey.

KELSEY
HEY.

JAMS his gun against her head.

JO
Ducks down behind the couch.
Scampers away.

FLINT
Smiles at Kelsey.

FLINT
Getting a bit nippy out.
your nippies are nice and hard.

DOC
Put the gun down, Flint.
Let’s talk about this.

FLINT
There’s nothing to talk about, old man.
NOBODY crosses me, GOT it?

DOC
You can have the money.
Just let go of her.
Take me instead.

A GUN WITH A SILENCER
appears next to Flint’s head.

JO
Get your hands off
my fucking DAUGHTER.

Reveal JO.
Gripping the weapon.
Quivering with rage.

THWIP. THWIP. THWIP.
Flint’s head EXPLODES.

Kelsey SCREAMS.
His body hits the floor, THWUNK.

She looks at the body. Shudders.
Looks up, eyes bright with tears.

KELSEY
Doc?

DOC
It’s a long story.

KELSEY
Jo?

JO
I was forty.
Still the con artist about town.
Didn’t want to be -- tied down.

DOC
Chelle couldn’t have kids.

JO
We thought it would -- calm them down.

DOC
Didn’t work.
(mumbles to himself)
They were so reckless.

JO
We were going to tell you.
We were just waiting for the right --

DOC
After the funeral -- seemed too soon.
Then we both kept --

JO
Putting it off --

DOC
And here we are.

Kelsey stares at them.
Speechless. In shock.

SIMON
Oh, shit.

DOC
What’s wrong?

SIMON
Asshole must have left a trail
of blood leading right to us.
(off their looks)
I’ll go outside and clean it up.

Darryl Rooker appears in the doorway.
Aiming his gun.

DARRYL
Like following a trail of bread crumbs.
What was that old fairy tail?
(sickly smile)
Doc Hazard. We meet at last.

DOC
I’m tingly all over.

Darryl reaches into his jacket
for his cell phone.

DARRYL
Nobody move a muscle.
I’m gonna call for back up.

Everybody stares while he dials.
Listens. Makes a face.

DARRYL
Godammit. No reception --

KELSEY
(pulls hers out)
Wanna use mine?

He looks at her.
Then the phone.

DARRYL
Yeah. Just don’t try any --

FAST AS LIGHTNING she
SMASHES IT in his face, CRACK.

GRABS his head.
BANGS it against the wall.

And again. And again.
SCREAMS. Lets go.

His body hits the floor, THUMP.
Lights out.

She stares at Doc and Jo.
A tear slides down her cheek.

Float Your Boat

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 53 of BABY HEISTER, Doc, Kelsey, Joe and Simon hole up in a house boat in the marina while the cops start swarm the area searching for them, but just as they catch their breath, they get an unexpected visitor ...


INT. POLICE CRUISER - MOVING - DAY
Costello drives.
Darryl Rooker rides shotgun.

Talks on his cell phone.
Looks REALLY pissed off.

DARRYL
I KNOW he’s not answering
his fucking phone.
Where the fuck IS he?
(listens)
Marina Del Rey?
(listens)
Send as many units as you’ve got.
Then call the Sheriff’s.
(listens)
Copy THAT.

He CLICKS his phone shut.
Looks at Costello.

DARRYL
To the marina, and step on it.

COSTELLO
Think they’re gonna try
and get away in a boat?

DARRYL
Gee, ya think so?

INT. VW BUS - DAY
Simon sits behind the wheel.
Jo sits next to him.

Doc and Kelsey sit in
the back with the money,
which is now a massive amount.

Doc closes the curtains
on the back windows.

DOC
Okay, let’s go.

Simon starts the engine.
Drives out of the parking lot --
just as a trio of SQUAD CARS,
lights FLASHING, sirens BLARING
pass by them, ROAR over to
the truck and SCREECH to a halt.

EXT. MARINA PARKING LOT - DAY
A BEEFY COP opens the back door
to the semi, revealing the Dumpster.

Darryl Rooker looks out his window.
Sees it. Nods.

DARRYL
(to Costello)
Call the Marina Sheriffs.
Have them seal off the channel.

COSTELLO
Yes, sir.
(beat)
But what if they’re already at sea?

DARRYL
Then call the Coast Guard.
Have them stop EVERY BOAT.
I’ll call the FBI.
Have them send some choppers.

EXT. HOUSEBOAT - DAY
An old, wooden, two-story joint
from an era gone by.

It would be kinda quaint if
it didn’t look like
it was falling apart.

But it’s still oddly homey-looking.

INT. HOUSEBOAT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
‘That Seventies Boat.’
All knotty pine.

Curtains drawn.
Stuffed with old furniture.

Hanging plants.
Nautical shit.

Doc, Jo, Kelsey and Simon
walk around, inspecting the joint.

KELSEY
This is so COOL.

DOC
We can hole up here
for good long while.
Zulf stocked the
fridge and the pantry.
We got satellite TV, a full bar.

JO
I’ll do some cleaning
and spruce the place up.
It’ll feel like home.
(smiles at Kelsey)
Kelsey will help me.
Won’t you, hun?

KELSEY
Sure. Of course.

JO
C’mon, let me show you the galley.

KELSEY
Okay. Let me close the door.
(walks toward the door)
It’s starting to get a bit --

FLINT
Appears in the doorway.
bloody mess.

He GRABS Kelsey.

KELSEY
HEY.

JAMS his gun against her head.

JO
Ducks down behind the couch.
Scampers away.

FLINT
Smiles at Kelsey.

FLINT
Getting a bit nippy out.
Bet your nippies
are nice and hard --

Escape Route

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 52 of BABY HEISTER, Doc, Kelsey, Jo and Simon escape the evil clutches of rogue cop Flint Cole and his henchmen, but then realize their ride isn't big enough to carry the four of them and the bags of money ...


INT. FLINT’S CROWN VIC - MOVING - DAY
The car sits in traffic
waiting for a red light.

DOC
Cut through that gas station.
Then take a right on Ocean Park.

FLINT
Alright, alright --

EXT. LINCOLN AVENUE - CONTINUOUS
The Crown Vic cuts diagonally
through a gas station,
starts heading west.

INT. SEMI TRAILER - DAY
A pile of garbage sits on
one side of the Dumpster truck.
The bags of money on the other.

Simon stands in the front
with a long two-by-four.
Jo, with a length of steel pipe.

And Kelsey, with a piece of glass
tied to a broom handle.

KELSEY
Okay.
This is how we’re gonna do it --

EXT. MARINA PARKING LOT - DAY
Flint’s Crown Vic pulls up
alongside the semi.
He and Doc get out.

Eb climbs down out of the cabin.
Walks over.

EB
How’d it go at the cop shop?

FLINT
Like taking candy from a retard.
Let’s open up the tin can.

They walk over to the truck.
He climbs up the back.

Unlocks the door.
Opens them, revealing --

The Dumpster truck.
Trash on the right.

Money bags on the left.
But no Kelsey, Simon or Jo.

EB
Hey. Where’d they go?

FLINT
Stupid redneck.
They’re hiding in the Dumpster.

KELSEY (O.C.)
We’re not hiding.
We’re resting.

FLINT
(pulls out his gun)
Just as well.
Makes it easier.

DOC
Makes WHAT easier?

FLINT
Did you REALLY think I was
gonna SHARE the money with YOU?
A career CRIMINAL?

DOC
You’re a fucking piece of shit,
you know that?

FLINT
That may be, but I’m a fucking
RICH piece of shit.
(to Eb)
Start unloading the bags into my car.
take care of the Dumpster-divers.

Eb nods. Climbs in.
Grabs a couple of bags.

Kelsey LEAPS up.
JABS her spear into his eye. CRUNCH.

EB
GAAA --

FLINT
FUCK.

Flint SHOOTS at her.
She DIVES back down.

Bullets PING, PING, PING
off the Dumpster.

Doc WHIPS OUT his gun.
SHOOTS Flint in the head. BANG.
He falls over, dead. THUMP.

DOC
Asshole.

Kelsey, Simon and Jo appear.
Climb down out of the truck.

KELSEY
I saw you empty the clip.

DOC
I did.
(beat)
But I still had one in the chamber.
(beat)
Throw ‘em in the Dumpster, quick.
Somebody might’ve heard the gunshots.

Kelsey and Simon pick up Flint.
Carry him up into the truck.

JO
We gotta problem, Doc.
His car ain’t big enough
to carry all the money
and the four of us.

DOC
I know, we gotta find a new ride.

An OLD, YELLOW VW HIPPIE BUS
comes into frame.

Covered in bumper stickers.
Pictures of dolphins.

Driven by the requisite
GREASY STONER DUDE (30’s).
He leans out the window.

GREASY STONER DUDE
You guys hear a gunshot?
I coulda sworn I heard a gunshot.

DOC
Car backfired.
Sorry if we scared you.

GREASY STONER DUDE
Right on.

Jo nudges Doc. Nods at the bus. Doc nods.
Walks over to Stoner’s car window.

DOC
I know this is gonna sound strange,
but I was wondering if we
could swap vehicles.

GREASY STONER DUDE
Huh?

DOC
We wanna go on a camping trip,
and our car just ain’t big enough.

GREASY STONER DUDE
What the fuck are YOU smoking --
and do you got any more?
This is my RIDE, bro. My baby.
She’s taken me to Woodstock,
Bonarroo, Coachella --

Kelsey appears. Holds up
a big wads of banded bills.

KELSEY
Will this take care of it?

GREASY STONER DUDE
(GRABS it)
DUDE, you gotta DEAL.

Leave The Driving To Us

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 51 of BABY HEISTER, rogue cop Flint Cole and master heister Doc Hazard head to the marina with Doc's stash, stolen back from the cops, but get stuck in traffic. Meanwhile, robbery/homicide chief Darryl Rooker, with help from the FBI, track down their location ...


INT. FLINT’S CROWN VIC - MOVING - DAY
Flint Drives.
Cigarette dangling on his lip.

Doc stares out the
passenger-side window.
Sullen.

FLINT
After all this time,
we’re finally partners.
Life sure is strange, huh?

DOC
It’ll be a cold day in Wasilla
when we become partners.

Flint sees his exit.
Hits the turn signal.

Starts making the turn
onto the off-ramp.

DOC
Don’t take Lincoln.
You’ll get stuck in traffic.
Ocean Avenue’s better.

FLINT
This is more direct.
sit back and
leave the driving to us.

EXT. FREEWAY OFF RAMP - LINCOLN AVENUE - DAY
Flint’s Crown Vic
turns off the ramp,
heads south on Lincoln.

Gets immediately caught
in traffic.

IN THE CAR
Doc smiles.
Shakes his head.

DOC
Good one, partner.

FLINT
Shut the fuck up.

DOC
What’s the hurry?
It’s not like we have
twenty million in
the back seat.

Flint glares at him.
His phone RINGS.
He picks up.

FLINT
This is Cole --

INTERCUT WITH:
INT. TASK FORCE HEADQUARTERS - CONTINUOUS
Darryl Rooker sits at
his desk on the phone.

Costello stands next to him.
Fists clenched.

DARRYL
Any news?
You see them yet?

FLINT
I’m right behind ‘em,
but there’s too much traffic.
onna stay in pursuit until
they get off the freeway.

Darryl turns, looks at --

ANOTHER COP SITTING AT A NEARBY DESK
Wearing headphones, listening
on electronic tracking equipment.

He nods.
Gives a thumbs-up.

DARRYL
Grimaces in the phone.

DARRYL
Okay, just don’t
lose sight of them.

FLINT
You got it.
I’ll call you back
when I get the fuckers.

They both CLICK
their phones shut.

A STERN-LOOKING FBI AGENT
In a sharp suit appears
next to Headphone Cop.

STERN-LOOKING FBI AGENT
We cool?

HEADPHONE COP
Ice-cold.

Darryl comes into frame.
Anxious.

DARRYL
But that wasn’t long enough to --

STERN-LOOKING FBI AGENT
Not with your antiquated
piece-of-shit call-tracing.

But with OUR state-of-the-art
satellite def-jam, we can
triangulate his exact location
through his cell phone.
(to Headphones)
And the winner IS?

HEADPHONE COP
(reading the screen)
They’re on Lincoln Avenue
in Santa Monica,
heading south --
(smiles)
And it looks like
they’re stuck in traffic.

DARRYL
(to Costello)
Send as many units
as we’ve got.
We’re finally gonna
GET this fucker --

Submissive Bitches

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 50 of BABY HEISTER, Kelsey, Jo and Simon look for weapons in the semi they're being held captive in so they can fight their captor and escape. Meanwhile, the cops locate bad cop Flint Cole and master heister Doc Hazard, on their way to the police precinct to steal back Doc's cash ...


EXT. MARINA - PARKING LOT - DAY
The semi is parked
at the far end of a
parking lot near a commercial slip
where large vessels are berthed.

Boats for parties.
Fishing trips.
Whale watching.

Eb gets out of the cab.
Walks over to the rear doors.

Opens them.
Climbs up.
Pulls out his piece.

INT. SEMI TRAILER - CONTINUOUS
Simon climbs out of the
Dumpster truck cab.
Looks at Eb.

SIMON
Hey.
No need to point that at me.
We’re your submissive bitches,
remember?

EB
Jus’ making sure you ain’t
gonna pull no monkey-shines.
Now start takin’ the
money bags outta the dumpster.
They gonna be here soon.

Eb SLAMS the door shut.
The padlock CLICKS.

Kelsey and Jo climb
out of the truck.

KELSEY
Okay.
Let’s get started.

JO
Look for stuff
we can use as weapons.

KELSEY
But Flint said if
we tried anything --

JO
Honey, you don’t know Doc.
Not only IS he
gonna try something,
he’s gonna expect US to.
No way in HELL is he
gonna let them get away
with ONE DOLLAR
of our nest egg.

INT. TASK FORCE HEADQUARTERS - AT THAT MOMENT
Darryl Rooker sits at his desk
talking on the phone.

He SPITS OUT his coffee.
Face turns beet-red.

DARRYL
They WHAT?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. POLICE PRECINCT - OFFICE - DAY
A small, cramped space
filled with police shit.

Piles of file folders.
Plaques and framed
commendations on the walls.

Bald, Black Cop
sits behind his desk.
Glares at Rooker.

BALD, BLACK COP
You heard me.
They fucking SHOT Rodriguez
AND another officer.

DARRYL
And they just -- got away?

BALD, BLACK COP
Yeah.
But one of the officers
ID’d them.

DARRYL
Who the fuck WAS it?

BALD, BLACK COP
You’re never gonna believe it --
DARRYL
Fucking TRY me.

BALD, BLACK COP
Flint Cole -- and Doc Hazard.

Stop And Frisk

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 49 of BABY HEISTER, the shit hits the fan in a blaze of gunfire when rogue cop Flint Cole and Doc steal Doc's life savings from an evidence locker at the police precinct where it was being held ...


INT. POLICE PRECINCT - CORRIDOR - DAY
Linoleum floor. Pale puke cinder block walls.

Flint leads Doc down the hallway.
Deserted. No one around.

They reach the door to a stairwell.
Flint grabs the knob. Opens it. Bows.

FLINT
Heisters first.

Doc shakes his head.
Heads on down. Flint follows.

IN THE STAIRWELL
Doc goes down the steps,
Flint right behind him.

FLINT (CONT’D)
Think I’m gonna like being
on your side of the law.

DOC
Were you ever on the right side?

FLINT
You had a good run, old timer --
but you finally met your match.

They get to the bottom.

DOC
Let me go first.

He opens the door.
They walk into --

INT. POLICE PRECINCT - BASEMENT CORRIDOR - DAY
They walk down the hallway silently.
Make a turn.

Arrive at a caged area with a
FAT LATINO COP (50’s)
sitting behind a desk.

Flint walks over to the doorway.
Raps on the cage.

FLINT
Rodriguez, you fat fuck.
You STILL down here?
I thought they retired
your refried ass.

Rodriguez gets up.
Smiles. Walks over.

RODRIGUEZ
Well, if it ain’t detective Serpico,
outta the gutter and back on the take.
(looks at Doc)
Who ya got with you?
Too old to be your new partner.

FLINT
This here’s Gus.
He’s a screenwriter,
doing research for a TV show.

RODRIGUEZ
Really? What’s it called?

DOC
'The Heisters.'

FLINT
It’s pretty cool.
About a family of bank robbers.

RODRIGUEZ
Oh, wow. That does sound cool.
(brightens)
Like Doc Hazard and his gang.

FLINT
As a matter of fact,
that’s why we’re here.

RODRIGUEZ
Right. I heard you were on that case.
(unlocks the door, opens it)
C’mon in.

INT. POLICE PRECINCT - EVIDENCE ROOM - DAY
A large room filled with rows
of metal shelves stacked with boxes.
Rodriguez leads them down a narrow aisle.

RODRIGUEZ
Let’s see -- Harrold, Hatfield, Hazard.
(points at a box, smiles)
Knock yourself out.

FLINT
What about the cash?

RODRIGUEZ
That’s in a separate cage in the back.

Flint pulls out a gun with a silencer.
Pokes him with it.

FLINT
Then let’s go open it.

RODRIGUEZ
Cole. Stop fucking around.

FLINT
I’m not fucking around, Hector.

RODRIGUEZ
You’ll lose your badge for sure this time.

FLINT
Gee, ya think?

RODRIGUEZ
(looks at Doc)
He’s not a screenwriter, is he?

FLINT
Can’t get anything past you, huh.
(POKES him in the stomach)
C’mon, MOVE it. I don’t got all day.

Rodriguez sighs. Starts walking.
They follow him to a separate
caged room with boxes and bags in it.

He opens the door with a key.
Shakes his head.

RODRIGUEZ
You realize I’ll have to
call this in after you leave.

Flint raises the gun to Rodriguez’ head. FIRES. BANG.
His skull EXPLODES like a watermelon. SPLAT.

FLINT
Whoops.

DOC
Jesus fucking Christ, Cole.
Did you have to do THAT?

FLINT
Shut the fuck up and find the bags.

Doc shakes his head with disgust.
Goes into the room.

Looks around.
Sees the two giant black duffles. Points.

DOC
Those two.

FLINT
Bring ‘em out.
We’ll each carry one.

INT. POLICE PRECINCT - BASEMENT CORRIDOR - DAY
Flint and Doc hustle toward
the stairwell exit with the bags.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Holy SHIT. Rodriguez’s been SHOT.

Flint opens the door.
They start RUNNING up the stairs.

INT. POLICE PRECINCT - EVIDENCE ROOM - DAY
A BALD, BLACK COP (40’s)
stands next to Rodriguez’ body.

In shock. SHOUTS into his cell.

BALD, BLACK COP
Seal the building --

IN THE STAIRWELL
A siren starts WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOPING
on the PA.

Flint and Doc RACE up the stairs,
reach the top, huffing and puffing.

Flint GRABS the door,
FLINGS it open, to reveal --

AN ANGRY COP
Running right toward them.

FLINT
SHOOTS him in the chest.
THWIP. THWIP. THWIP.

His midsection EXPLODES in a sea of red.
Body HITS the tiles, THWUMP.

INT. POLICE PRECINCT - CORRIDOR - EXIT - CONTINUOUS
Flint and Doc RUN to the exit.
SMASH through the door, into --

EXT. POLICE PRECINCT - PARKING LOT - DAY
They TEAR ASS toward Flint’s car,
bags BANGING against their legs.

Bald, Black Cop RUNS out the door.
Draws his gun.

BALD, BLACK COP
Stop or I’ll SHOOT.

Flint WHIRLS AROUND. SHOOTS him.
THWIP. His head EXPLODES.

They JUMP in the car,
just as COPS start
pouring out of the building.

Flint JAMS the car into gear
and ROARS away --

Leave The Driving To Us

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 48 of BABY HEISTER, Kelsey, Jo and Simon are held captive by Flint Cole's goons while he and Doc get ready to steal back Doc's stash ... from the police precinct where it's kept under armed guard ...


EXT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - DAY
A ramshackle joint from
the turn of the century.

The Dumpster truck pulls up
to the entrance. HONKS once.
Then twice again.

The doors slowly open inward.
The truck drives in.

INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS
A giant space. Almost big enough
to be an airplane hanger.

Parked off to the side is a
giant semi tractor-trailer,
back doors open, with a
ramp leading up inside it.

Flint stands near it,
along with EB PICKER (40’s),
a giant redneck trucker
right out of central casting.

Holding a shotgun.
Chewing tobacco.

Confederate flag hat.
The works.

IN THE DUMPSTER TRUCK
Kelsey looks at Doc.
Shakes her head.

KELSEY
I don’t like it.

DOC
Don’t have any choice.

SIMON
Who’s the scary-looking dude
next to him?

DOC
Must be the driver.

KELSEY
How do we know we can trust them?

DOC
Fifteen million bucks says so.
And besides, we now have protection.
He’ll keep the law away from us.
(opens his door)
C’mon. Let’s get it over with.

They get out of the truck.
Flint and Eb walk over.

FLINT
Well, if it isn’t the
Cooch In The Wall Gang.

DOC
Cole.

FLINT
Okay. Here’s how it’s gonna work.
Eb here gave the cops an anonymous tip
that you’re heading east
on the ten freeway in a U-Haul,
so the cops are looking for you there.
Meanwhile, he’s gonna take you
to the Marina where your boat is.

EB
(CRACKS the shotgun)
Leave the drivin’ to us.

FLINT
You’ll wait there while Doc
and I go get his dough.
(to Doc)
If I don’t return safely, they die.
And if they get cute, you’re toast.
(cackles)
Sometimes I’m so brilliant
I can’t fucking take it.
(off their stares)
Okay. Toss your guns on the floor
and let’s get this show
on the fuckin’ ROAD.

Kelsey, Simon and Jo toss them.
Look pissed.
Eb starts picking them up.

DOC
If we’re going to rob a police precinct,
I’d like to keep mine.

FLINT
Sorry, pop. No can do.
(off his stare)
You’ll get it back. Promise.

DOC
What if I take out the bullets?

He carefully pulls out his Magnum.
Racks out the clip.

Opens it. Dumps the bullets
on the floor. Holds it up.

Shows it’s empty.
SHOVES it back in, CLICK.
Flint smiles.

FLINT
That’ll work.

INT. SEMI TRAILER - REAR COMPARTMENT - MOVING - DAY
Simon, Kelsey and Jo sit
on the floor in the rear.

SIMON
This fucking sucks.

KELSEY
Don’t worry.
We’ll figure something out.
(looks at Jo)
Right?

JO
Motherfucker made a BIG mistake.
No one messes with DOC.

The Great Escape

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 47 of BABY HEISTER, Kelsey, Jo, Doc and Simon pull of the bank job without a hitch, but as they make their escape, Dod reveals to Kelsey a slight hitch: while they were out getting revenge on the Yakuza, they got busted by bad cop Flint Cole, who now wants a piece of the pie ...


INT. BANK - MANAGER’S OFFICE - DAY
A small space with the
usual functional furniture.

Doc and Jo look at Big Bank Guard
and Beige Manager, now handcuffed,
sitting on the floor,
facing away from each other.

DOC
What time do the other
employees get here?

BEIGE BANK MANAGER
Any minute now.

DOC
Then we’ll make this fast.

Jo puts a piece of duct tape
on Big Guard’s mouth.
RIPS off another piece for Beige.

BEIGE BANK MANAGER
Do you really have to --

JO
(SLAPS it on)
Yeah. We really do.

EXT. BANK - BACK ALLEY - DAY
Simon and Kelsey throw in
the last bag of money
into the Dumpster.

We see Kelsey’s back
in her coveralls.

Doc and Jo come out.
They help them throw in lumber
to cover the money.

Kelsey and Simon close the
rear door to the armored car.

Lock it with the guards’ keys.
Get in the truck.

Simon behind the wheel,
Kelsey beside him, Doc and Jo
in the rear compartment
behind the cab.

Simon GUNS the engine,
and they start off down the alley.

INT. DUMPSTER TRUCK - MOVING - DAY
Simon POUNDS the steering wheel.

SIMON
We fucking DID it.

KELSEY
(sings)
Take me down to Paradise City,
where the cash is green
and the girls are gritty --

Doc leans into the cab.
Looks serious.

DOC
We need to talk.
Something went down last night.

EXT. BANK - FRONT ENTRANCE - DAY
A pair of BANK EMPLOYEES (20’s)
stand at the front door.

A HOT TELLER presses a buzzer.
Looks at the other, a
CHUBBY HISPANIC ASSISTANT MANAGER.

HOT TELLER
Still no answer.

CHUBBY HISPANIC ASSISTANT MANAGER
(peers in the window)
That’s strange.
Maybe they’re around back
because of the delivery. C’mon.

INT. DUMPSTER TRUCK - MOVING - DAY
Doc looks at Kelsey.
Then Simon. White-faced.

DOC
When the two of you went off
to take care of the Yakuza,
we got busted.

DOC
Undercover dick by the
name of Flint Cole.

Found us in the hotel,
but didn’t let on
to the other cops.
Saw an opportunity.

KELSEY
Why didn’t you TELL us?

DOC
Didn’t want you to be distracted.
If we fucked up the job,
we’d be really fucked.

KELSEY
So what happens now?

DOC
In exchange for helping us
escape with the dough --
which he gets a cut of, by the way --
he wants half the stash.

SIMON
The bloody BASTARD.

KELSEY
But the cops have it.

DOC
Yeah.
But he knows where it is,
and how to get it back --
if we help him.

INT. ABANDONED GROCERY STORE - DAY
Costello SLAMS down the phone.
RACES over to Darryl’s desk,
where he sits and chats
with Flint over cups of coffee.

COSTELLO
Chief, the First National Bank
of California’s been hit.
Main branch, downtown.

FLINT
The bank where the
Hazards were killed?
I thought it was
closed for repairs.

COSTELLO
It was, but now it’s done.

DARRYL
And they were delivering all
the money they’d need today --

Another COP (40’s) African-American,
built like a linebacker,
salt and pepper,
approaches them, excited.

LINEBACKER COP
Chief.
We just a call from a
guy at a gas station.
Recognized Doc and his crew
when they stopped to refuel.

DARRYL
WHERE?

LINEBACKER COP
Near a freeway entrance.
Said they’re heading east
on the ten. Big U-Haul.

DARRYL
Call the Highway Patrol.
Have them set up a roadblock.

LINEBACKER COP
One step ahead of you.

Flint gets up.
Starts heading toward the door.

FLINT
I’m gonna catch those fuckers.

DARRYL
They gotta BIG lead on you.
You’ll never catch them.

He GRABS the knob.
Turns. Looks. Sneers.

FLINT
You haven’t seen ME drive.

Cash And Carry

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 46 of BABY HEISTER, in part one of the bank robbery where Kelsey's parents were killed trying to rob it, she and her crew commandeer a Dumpster delivery in the back alley ...


EXT. BACK ALLEY - MOMENTS LATER
Simon sits in the truck,
lowers the Dumpster
in front of the exit,
leaving just enough room
for someone to squeeze by.

AT THE END OF THE ALLEY
The ARMORED TRUCK arrives.

Comes to a stop behind the Dumpster.
The driver HONKS his horn.

Simon looks in his rear view mirror.
Gets out of the truck.

Starts walking over the armored car.
Waving and smiling.

Kelsey starts coming down the alley
on the opposite side.

Both guards in the truck stare at her.
Simon walks up to the
driver-side window.
Driver sees him.

DRIVER
Move the Dumpster.
It’s in the way.

Simon pretends he can’t hear.
Silently moves his mouth
like he’s talking.

Driver opens the door,
starts to get out.

Just at that moment,
Kelsey approaches the
passenger side door.

Pulls out a cigarette.
RAPS on the window.

KELSEY
Hey.
You gotta light?

PASSENGER-SIDE GUARD
No, sorry.

She gets closer. Smiles.
Passenger-Side stares. Wow.

ON THE OTHER SIDE
Driver Guard gets in Simon’s face.

DRIVER
I said MOVE the fucking DUMPSTER.

Simon CLIPS Driver
on the head with his gun,
knocking him to the ground.

Passenger Side sees,
reaches for his weapon --
as Simon JUMPS in the cab,
JAMS his gun in his face.

SIMON
Ever heard the expression
‘explodes in a red mist?’

IN THE REAR COMPARTMENT
The THIRD GUARD tries
working the radio, without success.

THIRD GUARD
Hello? Hello?
Come in, GODDAMMIT.
We’re being ROBBED.

AT THE END OF THE ALLEY
A panel truck backs up
to the armored car.
Jo gets out.

AT THE BANK EXIT
Doc stands to the side of the door.
Jo joins on the other side.

They pull out Uzis.
Nod to each other.

The door OPENS.
Out comes a BIG BANK GUARD.

Sees the Dumpster
blocking the way.

Doc presses his Uzi
against his chest.

DOC
Make a move and
you’re shredded beef.

SIMON AND KELSEY
Press their guns against
the guards’ heads.
Take their guns.

KELSEY
Take out your keys
and open the door.

They reach into their pockets.
Start pulling them out.

SIMON
Slowly.
No sudden movements.

KELSEY
We don’t wanna hurt anybody.

In unison, they open the door --
revealing THIRD GUARD,
crouched on one knee.

Gun aimed at them
with both hands.

THIRD GUARD
Shit.

KELSEY
Toss it, NOW.

He does.

SIMON
Get out.

IN THE BANK
Doc and Jo walk Big Bank Guard
toward the back.

The MANAGER,
a puffy, corporate type in beige
wearing a goatee and glasses sees him.
Then Doc and Jo. Their guns.

BEIGE BANK MANAGER
Wh-what’s going on?

DOC
What does it look like?

BEIGE BANK MANAGER
AGAIN?

DOC
Second time’s a charm.
(beat)
In your office, NOW.

He stares. Open-mouthed.

JO
You heard the man. MOVE IT.

IN THE PANEL TRUCK
Simon handcuffs the guards
to a steel pole just under
the ceiling of the compartment.
Kelsey holds a gun on them.

DRIVER
You’ll never get away with this.

Simon STUFFS a rag in his mouth.

SIMON
Watch us --

Let The Games Begin

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 45 of BABY HEISTER, Kelsey, Doc, Simon and Jo get ready to rip off the bank where Kelsey's parents were killed trying to rob it ...


INT. SHITTY MOTEL - BATHROOM - DAY
Kelsey sits on the toilet seat
wearing a tank top.

Simon ties a bandage around
her upper arm tightly,
making a tourniquet.

KELSEY
Ow.

SIMON
It’s gotta be tight.
And you’re gonna have
to see a doctor soon.
If it gets infected,
you’re fucked.

KELSEY
I’ll go after the job.
Hurry up and finish
before they wake up.

DOC (O.C.)
What’s going, Kelsey?
What happened?

Reveal Doc.
Standing in the doorway.

KELSEY
Doc.

DOC
What happened to your arm?

Pause.

KELSEY
We, uh -- visited the Yakuza.

DOC
Did you kill him?

KELSEY
Yeah.
(beat)
Please don’t be mad.

Doc stares at her. Sighs.

DOC
Fuck it.
Bastard’s dead, and
you didn’t get caught.

KELSEY
You’re not -- mad at me?

DOC
Life’s too short. C’mon.
Jo’s got a first aid kit.
We’ll get you fixed up in a jiffy.

Kelsey stares, open-mouthed.
Doc CLAP-CLAPS his hands.

DOC (CONT’D)
C’mon, let’s get a move on.
We’ve places to go,
people to see,
banks to rob.

INT. EMPTY STORE - DAY
An empty space with a cement floor.
Construction equipment. Piles of lumber.
The gang wears coveralls and hard hats.

Simon stands at a makeshift table
with a metal box on it.

He FLICKS a switch.
A red light starts BLINKING.

SIMON
Simon says SCRAMBLED.

A HONK-HONK from outside.

DOC
Dumpster’s here.
Places, please.

Simon, Doc and Jo pull goggles
down from their helmets.

Scarves up from around their necks.
Faces now covered.

IN THE ALLEY
The Dumpster truck rolls to a stop
in front of the store.

Simon walks up to it. Waves.
The DRIVER (20’s),
big and burly, gets out.
Climbs down carrying a clipboard.

SIMON
Boy, am I glad to see you.
My boss is gonna have my ass.

BURLY DRIVER
Got a lot of shit, huh?

Simon CLIPS him on
the head with his gun.
He falls, THWUNK.

IN THE STORE
Doc looks at Kelsey.

DOC
It’s showtime, baby heister.

Kelsey nods.
Unzips her coveralls.
Steps out of them.

Now resplendent in Daisy Dukes
and a tight, denim top knotted
above her belly button.

She takes off her hard hat.
Undoes her ponytail.

Shakes her hair free.
Puts it back on.
Then mirrored shades.
Applies blood-red lipstick.

KELSEY
Think this’ll work?

DOC
Won’t know what hit ‘em --

The Dark Side

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 44 of BABY HEISTER, after killing the Yakuza gang leader who killed her parents, Kelsey finally grieves over their loss ... and finally makes love with Simon. Meanwhile, robbery/homicide detectives Flint Cole and and Darryl Rooker learn about the murder, and put two and two together ...


INT. SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Kelsey sits on the mattress.
Holding a bottle of Jack.

Takes a big swig.
Wipes her mouth with her sleeve.

We see she’s been crying.
Eyes are red.

Simon comes in from the bathroom.

SIMON
Are you okay?

KELSEY
No, I’m NOT okay.
(sniffles)
I’m a LONG way away from THAT.

He sits down next to her.
Strokes her hair.

SIMON
Maybe you should take
it easy with that.
We gotta big job tomorrow.

She hands him the bottle.
He takes a swig. Grimaces.

KELSEY
I thought I’d feel better, you know?

SIMON
Maybe you’re finally grieving.
(off her look)
A lot of people keep it bottled up.
Afraid it would hurt too much.

And that does it.
The floodgates open.

Kelsey starts SOBBING.
Simon takes her into his arms.
Holds her tight.

SIMON (CONT’D)
It’s okay.
Let it out.
Let it out.

Kelsey cries and cries.
Heaving, wracking sobs of pain.

Then pulls away.
Eyes full of grief.

KELSEY
I never really KNEW them.
(gasps)
It was all a LIE.
(a whisper)
And now I’m just LIKE them.

She GRABS him for dear life.
Starts kissing him.

They start going at it.
Hot and heavy.

She hungrily starts
pulling his shirt off.

He grabs her belt.
Starts undoing it --

And they fall onto the bed
in a writhing, twisting,
tormented tornado of passion.
Consuming each other for dear life.

INT. ABANDONED GROCERY STORE - DAY
The task force HQ
is a beehive of activity.

Cops sit at work stations
working computers. On the phone.

The big map on the wall
now has dozens of marks on it.

Flint and Darryl sit at a desk
with a box of donuts
and cups of coffee.

Flint picks up a bear claw.
Throws it down.

FLINT
My teeth are rotting
just looking at this shit.
I want a real breakfast.

DARRYL
There’s a Mickey D’s
around the corner.
You want me to send --

FLINT
I said a REAL breakfast.

Costello walks over to them.
Looks excited.

COSTELLO
Chief, I got something.
You know that Yakuza gang leader
that was out on bail
awaiting trial?

FLINT
The one who killed
Doc’s son and his wife?

COSTELLO
Yeah.
He was shot and killed last night.
Witnesses say young a girl did it.

DARRYL
Hot?
About eighteen?

COSTELLO
Bingo.

FLINT
(looks at Darryl, smiles)
Looks like Doc’s little girl
just went over to the dark side.