The Candy Man

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In Chapter 36 of FILLMORE, after Fillmore's friend Sammy pulls his impromptu 'concert,' the gang arrives in Alaska, where his posse hits the streets and start doing tricks while he gets ready for his big stage debut ...

INT. SMALL TOWN MEETING HALL - STAGE - NIGHT
Sammy stands onstage in front of the crowd,
stiffly moving his mouth to the words of the song.

SAMMY
Who can take a sunrise --

BACKSTAGE
We see that Slim is actually singing.

SLIM
Sprinkle it with dew --

ONSTAGE
Sammy continues ‘singing.’

SAMMY
Cover it with chocolate and a miracle or two --

BACKSTAGE
Slim keeps on singing.

SLIM
The Candy Man, oh the Candy Man can --

ONSTAGE
Sammy continues to lip-synch, now getting into it.

SAMMY
The Candy Man can cause he mixes it with love
and makes the world taste good --

BACKSTAGE
Slim continues belting it out.

SLIM
Who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a sigh --

ONSTAGE
Sammy starts dancing around while he lip-synchs.

SAMMY
Soak it in the sun and make a groovy lemon pie --
(big smile
The Candy Man can --

INT. RECREATIONAL VEHICLE - MOVING - NIGHT
Blues music on the car stereo over --

Sammy, behind the wheel, driving.
Slim sits in the lounge area behind him
partying with the girls.

Doing lines of blow off the table.
Having cocktails.

SLIM
Who can chop a perfect line?

SUZY
Snort it up your nose?

LAURA
Lay up on your back and make a trillion billion bucks?

KELLY
The Candy Man can --

They crack up with laughter.
Slim suddenly turns serious.

SLIM
(to Sammy)
And what the fuck was that Simms shit?
Ordering me around like I was some kind of butler.
You’re lucky I don’t smack you up.

SAMMY
Hey, you put me on the spot.
I was just playin’ the part you gave me.

SLIM
Well, I ain’t NOBODY’S servant, you hear?
You try that shit again,
you’ll get my boot up your ass.

SAMMY
I said I was SORRY. It won’t happen again.

Slim HONKS up a line of blow. Honey hands him a joint.

HONEY
Here, baby. Have some of this. Chill you out.

EXT. FREEWAY - DAY
The RV passes a sign that reads WELCOME TO ALASKA.

EXT. DOWNTOWN ANCHORAGE - HOTEL - DAY
The RV pulls into a fairly modern-looking hotel
in downtown Anchorage. Everyone piles out, laughing.

EXT. SNOWY FIELD - DAY
IN A LONG SHOT, we see Slim, Sammy and
the four girls stand in the snow,
looking up at the mountains.

Dwarfed by the great expanse of beauty.
Looking up in wonder.

IN MONTAGE, Slim watches Sammy and the girls RUN
through an open field in the snow, YELLING and LAUGHING.
Throw snowballs at each other.

INT. THE LAST FRONTIER NIGHT CLUB - DAY
Slim meets with CALLIE SMOOMS (40’s) the owner of the club.

A tough-looking but pretty mountain woman.
She and Slim sit at the bar, which is now empty,
except for EMPLOYEES setting up in the background.

CALLIE
I’m glad you could make it.

SLIM
Don’t think nothin’ about it. Thanks for inviting me.

CALLIE
Well, I’m sure the pipeline workers are gonna love you.
(smiles)
And the Eskimos.

SLIM
Eskimos? You mean with igloos and shit?

CALLIE
(smiles)
Well, most of them don’t live in igloos anymore --
(beat)
Oh. One last thing.
I’m sure it’s not going to be a problem,
but I thought you should know --

SLIM
What’s that?

CALLIE
The band is from the local Army base.
(off his look)
But trust me, they can really rock --

INT. THE LAST FRONTIER NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT
Slim’s onstage with an ARMY BRASS BAND
a group of men playing wind instruments --
trumpets, saxophones, trombones, etc. -- and a DRUM CORP.

They’re playing BIG BRASS MONKEY, but it sounds more like
half-time at the ball game than the blues.

They struggle to keep time, horns BLARING.
Slim sings his heart but, but makes strange faces,
looking at the band.

SLIM
(trying to keep time with them)
All you want to do is -- ball and play --
(beat)
You got the balls -- of a big brass monkey.

The band reaches a crescendo, and they finish with
the RAT-TAT-TAT of the snare drums. Cymbals CRASH.
The big bass drum BOOMS. Slim takes a bow.

SLIM (CONT'D)
(under his breath)
Semper Fi, motherfuckers.

EXT. DOWNTOWN ANCHORAGE - NIGHT
IN MONTAGE, we see snippets of the girls
working the street and Slim playing at the club.

HONEY
Leans into the window of pickup truck
being driven by a PIPELINE WORKER (20’s)
a big bear of a fellow.

HONEY
So I hear you guys lay some mean pipe.

BIG BEAR GUY
I’ll show ya a gusher --

SUSAN
Chats up another PIPELINE WORKER,
a young, eager-looking kid.

EAGER-LOOKING KID
You’re really from Cali-forna? Wow.

SUSAN
Yep. And after I’m done with you,
you’ll wish they all could be California girls --

SLIM
Is back onstage at The Last Frontier.
The band has added guys playing guitar and bass.
It sounds a lot better -- but still isn’t quite there yet.

SLIM
(sings)
Lawdy Miss Clawdy, sure like to ball --

A GROUP OF ESKIMOS
Sit in the empty theater, watching, stone-faced.

KELLY
Stands on the corner, counting a big stack of money.
She smiles, nods. Shoves it in her purse.

A car pulls up to the curb.
A big LOCAL WOODSMAN (30’s) leans out the window.

BIG LOCAL WOODSMAN
Hey, baby. Ever done it with a trapper?

KELLY
Ever had a snapper?

He laughs. Opens the door. She jumps in.

LAURA
Leans into the window of an ANCIENT SEDAN
driven by an ESKIMO, a strapping young guy.

LAURA
I could show you a different kind of Eskimo Pie --

BIG, STRAPPING ESKIMO
I like -- fish --

LAURA
Your igloo, or mine?