This Little Piggy

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of NOWHERE GIRL, Palestinian arms dealer Avi Abbas gets the latest news about the weapon delivery from black ops spook Slege Crafton, while getting a blow job under his desk. Meanwhile, stripper with a suitcase nuke Cherry Nation gets up close and personal with Silverlake hipster Peeler Mardo ...


INT. DOWNTOWN LOFT - NIGHT
Deserted, except for Avi,
sitting at his desk,
facing the floor-to-ceiling windows,
city lights twinkling below.

AVI
(to someone unseen)
Ahhhhh, that’s it, baby -- that’s it.

He picks up the phone.
Dials a number. Listens.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - BASEMENT - AT THAT MOMENT
Crafton is supervising the interrogation
of an IRANIAN PRISONER,
who is hanging from a
steam pipe by a chain,
shirtless, blindfolded --
and quite bloody.

He takes a sip of his tumbler of scotch.
SLAPS the prisoner.

SLEDGE
Tell me, you fucking CAMEL JOCKEY.
Give me his NAME.

IRANIAN PRISONER
I don’t KNOW, I am not TERRORIST,
I am DRY CLEANER!

Crafton nods at a LARGE, SURLY SOLDIER
holding a rose clipper around the
big toe of one of the prisoner’s bare feet.

SLEDGE
This little piggy went TO MARKET.

Surly SNIPS, CRUNCH, and the toe
FLIES IN THE AIR
like a watermelon seed.

The prisoner SCREAMS.
Blood flows.

Crafton’s cell phone rings.
He fishes it out of his pocket.

SLEDGE
(to the prisoner)
Hold that thought.
(beat)
Crafton here.

AVI
It’s Avi.
I wanna know what the fuck’s
going on with the --
(beat)
Shipment --
(beat)
Crafton.

Avi leans back in his chair,
rolls his head slowly.

SLEDGE
Do I have to fucking
SPELL IT OUT for you?
The rogue courier is being TERMINATED,
and her replacement is
delivering the package.
We have it HANDLED.

AVI
Goddammit, Crafton -- your
fucking rogue killed my best man.
I’m not sure I -- trust you anymore.

He closes his eyes.
In some kind of ecstacy.

SLEDGE
Trust ME?
Now you listen to me,
you fucking TOWELHEAD --
you’re lucky we don’t
fucking SHUT YOU DOWN.
I represent THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT --
and this is a BUSINESS DEAL -- FOR MONEY.
Haven’t you heard of IN GOD WE TRUST?
(dramatic)
The buyer will get THE PACKAGE.

AVI
Okay -- okay --
(moans)
Ahhh --
(beat)
AHHHHHHHHHH --

His body JERKS.
He smiles, peaceful.

SLEDGE
Abbas? You there?

A TALL BLONDE pops up
from under the desk.

her mouth with a tissue.
Avi SNAPS his fingers.
Points. She leaves.

AVI
Yeah -- I’m here.

He lights a cigarette. Inhales.
Blows a lazy smoke ring.

AVI
Just make sure it happens -- soon.
We don’t want the buyer to get upset
and cause an incident.

SLEDGE
I’m not worried.
They’re in fucking Hollywood.
Why do you think we
chose that location?

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - WOODED AREA - NIGHT
It’s stopped raining.
Cherry and Peeler walk up
the incline though sparse foliage.
They reach a narrow, winding road.

CHERRY
Thank fucking god.
I’m cold, I’m wet --
and I’m fucking TIRED.

PEELER
(points at the sign)
Check it out.
We’re almost there.

They start walking up
the steep incline.

CHERRY
After this is done,
I can’t wait to have a
stiff drink and a
long, hot shower.

Cherry trudges on.
White knuckles gripping the briefcase.

PEELER
So listen, I was wondering --
when this is all over,
would you like to, you know --
go have coffee or something?

CHERRY
(does a take)
You mean like a -- date?

PEELER
No, not a DATE.
You know, just -- hang out.
You know, coffee.
Maybe grab a burger --

CHERRY
(faint smile)
That’d be -- nice.

A tear runs down her cheek.
She stops. GRABS him.
Gives him a long, lingering kiss.

PEELER
What was that for?

CHERRY
Not sure.
But I kinda liked it.
(kisses him again)
Yeah. That’ll work.