Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 15 of NOWHERE GIRL, stripper with a suitcase nuke Cherry Nation makes her getaway in a stolen car, which promptly breaks down in the Hollywood Hills, and before she can figure out her next move, she gets a call from her ex, undercover CIA operative Shag Holiday telling her he's on his way to help out ...
INT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - NIGHT
Hamad and Kamal watch a cheesy reality show
on the plasma TV.
HAMAD
Now this is television program.
The man gets to choose
all these women.
And he doesn’t have to
wait for the afterlife.
(beat)
Check out the blonde.
I'm going to buy one of those.
KAMAL
But the woman are all -- so stupid.
ACROSS THE ROOM
The RICH HOMEOWNER sits with his wife
while the guards’ attention is on the TV.
Rich puts his hand
in his jacket pocket.
IN HIS POCKET
We see a CELL PHONE.
His fingers feel the buttons by touch.
He types in a number.
THE PHONE LCD
Reads ‘Bell Air Security.’
INT. CORVETTE - MOVING - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
Shag drives East on Sunset,
through the winding curves
near the approach to Beverly Hills.
SHAG
You say she’s at the corner
of Sunset and Orange?
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - CUBICLE - CONTINUOUS
Lark looks at a computer screen.
Stares at a circular mass of
orange and yellow smears
on a green background.
LARK
Plutonium never lies.
The gift that keeps killing.
SHAG
I want to call her,
find out if she’s okay.
LARK
Be careful.
Don’t let your personal feelings
cloud your judgement.
(beat)
She’s really that unstable?
SHAG
She’s a great gal.
It’s just that she has these --
mood swings.
LARK
And she’s got a nuke.
SHAG
Exactly.
LARK
Call her.
But be careful.
Explosions are forever.
SHAG
Hey.
Scared shitless in my middle name.
INT. TOYOTA CELICA - MOVING - NIGHT -
Cherry drives. Peeler rides shotgun.
sits in the back.
Peeler looks at his I-Phone.
the screen with a finger.
PEELER
It’s coming up soon, slow down --
CHERRY
Queen’s Boulevard?
PEELER
Yeah. This corner coming up.
EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - CONTINUOUS
The car turns right,
starts climbing the hill.
IN THE CAR
STAN
I know I’m supposed to be quiet,
but you need to know something
about the car.
CHERRY
What?
STAN
It gets kinda funky -- going up hills.
CHERRY
Funky how?
STAN
It strains the engine.
Sometimes it --
The engine COUGHS, SPUTTERS -- and DIES.
STAN (CONT’D)
Stalls out.
PEELER
Shit.
Cherry pulls over.
YANKS on the parking brake.
CHERRY
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.
PEELER
(to Stan)
What do you do when it stalls?
STAN
Uh -- call Triple A.
CHERRY
Then let’s call Triple A.
STAN
My, uh -- membership expired.
I’ve been meaning to renew it,
but it’s fifty bucks, and --
CHERRY
Jesus fucking Christ on a STICK.
We’re gonna have to walk.
Everybody out of the car.
She opens her door.
Peeler sighs, opens his.
STAN
Can I stay with the car?
CHERRY
So you can tell the cops
we stole it and kidnapped you?
Hell, NO. Outta the car,
Napoleon Dynamite, NOW.
STAN
Okay, okay.
(beat)
Jeez.
(giggles)
Vote for Pablo!
They pile out of the Celica.
Start walking up into the Hollywood Hills.
Cherry looks at the houses.
CHERRY
Look at the size of THAT joint.
Cherry’s cell phone RINGS.
She gets it. Listens.
CHERRY (CONT’D)
Shag? What’s wrong?
Are the kids okay?
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. CORVETTE - MOVING - NIGHT
Shag drives east on Sunset.
Passes The Beverly Hills Hotel.
SHAG
The kids are fine.
I was just calling to see if --
everything was okay.
CHERRY
Why do you keep checking up on me?
You’re driving me fucking CRAZY.
Pause.
SHAG
I know what’s going on, Cherry.
And I want to help you.
CHERRY
What’s GOING ON?
You know WHAT’S GOING ON?
Uh, I don’t THINK SO.
SHAG
Do you realize how dangerous
a nuclear device is?
How unstable?
CHERRY
What the FUCK?
How did you --
SHAG
I’m CIA, Cherry.
I couldn’t tell you before --
for obvious reasons.
(beat)
And I’m sorry.
It fucking killed me.
So let’s just forget
everything that happened
and concentrate on getting you
out of this mess.
CHERRY
So you don’t sell shower heads.
I KNEW it.
All the secret phone calls,
the long trips, the injuries --
GODDAMMIT, Shag.
SHAG
I know. I know.
(beat)
I’m on my way.
I’ll be there soon.
CHERRY
How do you know where I --
SHAG
Aerial satellite thermal tracking.
You’re carrying plutonium, Cher.
CHERRY
I told you not to CALL ME THAT anymore!
You, you -- ARRRRGHH!
(clicks the phone shut)
GODDAMMIT.
PEELER
Shag -- is the ex?
CHERRY
Yeah.
And the fuck-head’s following us.
Bastard’s a fucking SPY.
PEELER
Shit.
What are we gonna do?
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