Faster, Pussycat

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of FULL BODY, sultry hitwoman Mavra Vlaovic attends Princess Stephanie von Sturm Und Drang's unspeakably decadent birthday bash at the Croatian embassy in DC, but has to make a daring escape when an unseen assassin tries to take her out ...



INT. CROATIAN EMBASSY - BALLROOM - NIGHT
Princess Stephanie von Sturm Und Drang
bows to the crowd, who CHEERS.

Just then, a HOODED, WINGED FIGURE
on a motorcycle ROARS
into the ballroom.

POPS a wheelie.
People SCREAM with excitement.

The chopper SCREECHES
to a stop before the throne.

Figure WHIPS OFF it’s hood.
Revealing --

MAVRA.
Scary-sexy as a
vampire bat outta hell.

She approaches the throne.
Kneels.

Stefanie offers her hand.
Mavra takes it, as if to kiss.

But she SLASHES
the pale, thin wrist.
Drawing blood.

Mavra GRABS IT.
Sucks greedily.

The princess swoons.
Smitten.

Mavra wipes her mouth.
Stands.

Raises Stefanie’s arm
in the air in some kinda
demented victory cheer.

MAVRA
Let us feast on
the flesh of the gods --
and drink the blood of
THE HOST.

DEVIL
speaks into the mike.

DEVIL DJ
Let’s party like it’s 1499!

Music ERUPTS.

The drum-and-bass/house-trance
rocket’s red glare of Paul Oakenfold's
FASTER KILL PUSSYCAT takes off.

And hey, isn’t that Brittany Murphy
on the deviant sex kitten vocals?
Sick hot.

BRITTANY MURPHY (V.O.)
'Faster kill pussycat,
those high heels
are not your friend --

UP IN THE BALCONY
is Naughty Girl Scout.

With a scope rifle.
She takes aim.

MAVRA
turns to the crowd. Waves.
Big, broad smile.

A RED DOT
appears on her collarbone.

STEFANIE
sees it.

PUSHES Mavra.
Mavra hits the floor.

MAVRA
What the FUCK?

Stephanie weaves over.
Helps her up.

STEFANIE
There’s assassin in balcony!
You were about to be shot!
Come, to VIP safe room -

They dash off stage.

IN THE WINGS
A spiral staircase
leads up into the rafters.

Stefanie starts up the steps.
Turns. Sees Mavra’s not following --

STEFANIE
What are you doing?
Do you want to get shot?

MAVRA
I’ll be up in a sec.
I’m supposed to meet someone.

STEFANIE
You sure?

MAVRA
Go, dahling.
Crack open Cristal.
I’ll be there faster
than you can
say 'muff diver.'

STEFANIE
(giggles)
Muff diver!

And she starts
CLATTERING up the steps.

Mavra pulls a HANDGUN
with a SILENCER
out of her bag.

Strides over to the
edge of the stage.
Looks up at --

NAUGHTY GIRLS SCOUT
in the balcony.

Searching the crowd
with opera glasses.

MAVRA
takes aim. Breathes.
Smiles. And SHOOTS.

NAUGHTY GIRL SCOUT
gasps.

Looks cross-eyed at the
bullet wound on her forehead.
Crumples to the floor.

MAVRA
fake-blows smoke
from the gun barrel.

MAVRA
I’ll take two boxes
of de thin-mints.

ON THE DANCE FLOOR
a MAN in a tux makes out
with a YOUNG NYMPHET.

Hair in pigtails.
Mavra dashes over.

TAPS the man
on the shoulder.

MAVRA
May I cut in?

The man pulls away.
Looks at Mavra.
We recognize SILKE.

A name tag on his lapel
reads ‘Hi! I’m Humbert.’

SILKE
Mavra.
You look gorgeous.
Like you haven’t aged a day.

MAVRA
It would seem
that death becomes me.
(looks a the girl)
This your accomplice?

The girl blushes deep red.
We see her name tag.
‘Lolita.’

SILKE
Allow me to introduce you
to daughter, Elvissa.

Mavra offers her hand.
They shake.

ELVISSA
Ma’am.

MAVRA
Charmed, I’m sure.
(to Silke)
What delicious treat.
She has your eyes.

SILKE
All in family.
And she can kill a man
with bare hands.

MAVRA
Excellent.
Let us blow popsicle stand.
We have places to go,
people to kill --