Balling The Jack

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of FULL BODY, wannabe singer Summer Donovan tries to pick up the pieces after blowing her big audition at The Eighteenth Street Lounge. Meanwhile, Surgeon General Chick Almond is enjoying watching French/African gazelle Ayanna Prouxl's tryst with Portuguese temptress Catalina Gil in the back of his limo ... until Catalina OD's on a speedball ...


EXT. DOWNTOWN DC - 16TH STREET - NIGHT
Summer and Lindsey walk fast
down the sidewalk.

LINDSEY
C’mon, let’s get a cab. It’s late --

SUMMER
I fucked it up, Lindsey!
I fucked it up. Goddammit. I was THERE.
I sang for Eric Hilton and Rob Garza,
and I was GREAT -- until my
fucking NOSE started BLEEDING!

She stops. Loses it.
Starts crying. Lindsey hugs her.

LINDSEY
Shhhhh, it’s okay --

A RASPY MALE VOICE calls out.

RASPY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Yeaaaaah, gimmee some sugar.
Love da lezzies. Can I join in?

A SCARY GUY in a leather jacket approaches.
Leering. Rubbing his crotch.
Lindsey WHIPS OUT a can of mace. Aims it.

LINDSEY
Back the fuck off, asshole!
Go swing your dick somewhere else!

SCARY GUY
(walks away)
Fucking carpet-munchers --

LINDSEY
Loser! Go home and beat off!
(grabs Summer’s arm)
C’mon, let’s split a cab.
What part of town do you live?
(gives her a kleenex)
Here --

SUMMER
Thanks.
(dabs her eyes)
I gotta -- go back to the salon.
Get my jacket -- has my keys.

LINDSEY
Okay --

SUMMER
I can’t do it, Lina.
It’s -- too much.
I’m just not cut out for --

LINDSEY
You can’t quit!
We’re a team. Buds.
You’re part of the family --

PUSH IN ON Summer. Falling apart.

SUMMER
That’s why I’m -- running away from home.

INT. CHICK’S LIMO - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
The Brazilian pop-soul-funk of Anthony Marinell’s remix
of Herb Albert & The Tijuana Brass’s WHIPPED CREAM over --

The remains of the day.
Ayanna, hooked up to an IV.
Bandage across her forehead.

Catalina, in nurse position,
holding Ayanna’s hand.
More than a bit freaked out.

AYANNA
(sings)
Ba-ba-ba-bop-be-bedo-bee --

CHICK
(stops the IV, takes it out)
That’s enough -- don’t want you
getting all Karen Carpenter on me.

CATALINA
What were you giving her?

CHICK
Morphine drip. Poor girl
suffered quite a crack to the head.
And then there’s the withdrawal, of course.

AYANNA
I’d like to -- make a withdrawal,
ossiffer -- ha, ha, ha, ha --

CHICK
She’s either seeing white rabbits
or pink elephants at this juncture.
One pill makes you larger,
and a speedball makes you sore.

CATALINA
Withdrawal? She’s addicted to -- ?

AYANNA
Might as well confess
you’re addicted to love --

CHICK
We all have addictions, my love.
For some people it’s shopping, others, its sex --
some people get off on money, power, fame.
It’s all the same thing.
(freaky smile)
I’m Chauncey Gardener -- I like to watch.

Chick pulls out a large syringe. SQUIRTS it.

CATALINA
What the fuck is THAT?

CHICK
Just a little booster to even her out.

He finds a vein in Ayanna’s arm. Taps it.
FLICKS the needle. Slides it in.
Presses the plunger down --

Ayanna’s eyes roll back.
Immediate, heavenly bliss.

AYANNA
(to Catalina, dreamy)
Mommy -- fucks so good --

CATALINA
(hugs her)
Oh, baby -- what are we gonna do?

CHICK
Now that’s an excellent question.
I would think you should join the party --
then we could get this shindig on the road,
be-bop-a-lula, she’s my girl.

CATALINA
'Join the party?'

Chick lays out a mirror.
Takes out a glassine envelope.

Pours powder out of it.
Starts chopping it up.

CHICK
Back in the fifties, my first wife
was a real beatnik hep-cat.
She used to call it ‘balling the jack.’
(twitches his eyebrows)
And I, of course -- was JACK. HA.

CATALINA
I’m sorry, but I’m not
going to get addicted to --

AYANNA
(sits up, sees the powder)
Now that’s what I call balling the jack --

CHICK
(offers the straw)
Nonsense. This is recreational use.
(gestures toward Ayanna)
And this is your playground.
Approved by the Surgeon General.
(narrows eyes)
I wouldn’t want this to turn ugly.

AYANNA
C’mon, baby -- let’s party.
One lil-ol’ liney won’ hurt you --

She leans over.
HONKS up a fat line.
SNORTS. Eyes roll back.

Whoops.

AYANNA
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah --

She SPASMS.
Viscous fluid ERUPTS from her mouth.
Ayanna’s head falls back. THUD.

CHICK
Now why did you have to go and do THAT.

He puts his stethoscope on her heart.
Feels her wrist.

CATALINA
What’s wrong!? What’s wrong!?

CHICK
No pulse. Quick, don’t panic.
(points)
Hand me that case, NOW.

Catalina grabs a large aluminum container.
Chick opens it, YANKS out a
pair of paddles with electrical cords.

CHICK
Open her blouse!

CATALINA
(RIPS it open)
Ohmigod, baby -- don’t die! Don’t die!
(crosses herself)
Mother Mary, full of grace --

Chick raises the paddles --

CHICK
Turn it on!
Let me know when it hits 250!

CATALINA
What about giving her a shot
of adrenaline like in ‘Pulp Fiction?’

CHICK
That’s a fucking MOVIE!
Fiction! Watch the red arrow!

AYANNA
(watches it)
Okay -- NOW!

CHICK
One, two -- clear!

He ZAPS her chest -- BZZZZZZZZZZT!
No response.

CHICK
Awaken! I COMMAND you!

He ZAPS her again -- BZZZZZZZZZZT!
Nothing. Not looking good.

CATALINA
Oh my god! Please, Lord -- DO SOMETHING.

CHICK
I'm trying!
(to Ayanna)
Wake THE FUCK UP!

Chick ZAPS her --
BZZZZZZZZZZT! BZZZZZZZZZZT! BZZZZZZZZZZT!

Ayanna BOLTS UPRIGHT.
Eyes FLY OPEN.

Catalina and Chick sigh.
Relieved. Ayanna, big, goofy grin.

AYANNA
I’m hungry. Who wants pizza?

A phone RINGS.
Catalina fishes out her cell. Listens.

CATALINA
What now?
(mouths silently)
My husband --
(into the phone)
I’m on my way home.
Had a special client --
from the Surgeon General’s office.
(listens)
What do you mean
the kids didn’t eat anything?
(listens)
I told you they don’t like chili --
(listens)
What about the chicken I -- ?
(listens)
YOU ate it?
I told you to save that --
(listens)
STOP yelling at me!
I’m on my way home!
Give them some cereal!
And this is your
last night in MY HOME. GOOD-BYE!

She SLAMS the phone shut.
Dark eyes flash with anger.

CATALINA
Idiot. I thought we were separated.
(to Chick)
Family emergency.
Could you please take me back
to the International?
My car’s there --

Chick glares at her. Leans over.
SNORTS a line. Then another.

CHICK
Of course, my love.
I didn’t realize you had children.
(slurs, into the call box)
Driver. To the International.
And make it SNAPPY.
We have an errant mother
who needs to tend to her brood.

AYANNA
What about -- our party?

CATALINA
Sorry, baby -- party’s over.