Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Balling The Jack
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 33 of FULL BODY, wannabe singer Summer Donovan tries to pick up the pieces after blowing her big audition at The Eighteenth Street Lounge. Meanwhile, Surgeon General Chick Almond is enjoying watching French/African gazelle Ayanna Prouxl's tryst with Portuguese temptress Catalina Gil in the back of his limo ... until Catalina OD's on a speedball ...
EXT. DOWNTOWN DC - 16TH STREET - NIGHT
Summer and Lindsey walk fast
down the sidewalk.
C’mon, let’s get a cab. It’s late --
I fucked it up, Lindsey!
I fucked it up. Goddammit. I was THERE.
I sang for Eric Hilton and Rob Garza,
and I was GREAT -- until my
fucking NOSE started BLEEDING!
She stops. Loses it.
Starts crying. Lindsey hugs her.
Shhhhh, it’s okay --
A RASPY MALE VOICE calls out.
RASPY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Yeaaaaah, gimmee some sugar.
Love da lezzies. Can I join in?
A SCARY GUY in a leather jacket approaches.
Leering. Rubbing his crotch.
Lindsey WHIPS OUT a can of mace. Aims it.
Back the fuck off, asshole!
Go swing your dick somewhere else!
Fucking carpet-munchers --
Loser! Go home and beat off!
(grabs Summer’s arm)
C’mon, let’s split a cab.
What part of town do you live?
(gives her a kleenex)
(dabs her eyes)
I gotta -- go back to the salon.
Get my jacket -- has my keys.
I can’t do it, Lina.
It’s -- too much.
I’m just not cut out for --
You can’t quit!
We’re a team. Buds.
You’re part of the family --
PUSH IN ON Summer. Falling apart.
That’s why I’m -- running away from home.
INT. CHICK’S LIMO - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
The Brazilian pop-soul-funk of Anthony Marinell’s remix
of Herb Albert & The Tijuana Brass’s WHIPPED CREAM over --
The remains of the day.
Ayanna, hooked up to an IV.
Bandage across her forehead.
Catalina, in nurse position,
holding Ayanna’s hand.
More than a bit freaked out.
(stops the IV, takes it out)
That’s enough -- don’t want you
getting all Karen Carpenter on me.
What were you giving her?
Morphine drip. Poor girl
suffered quite a crack to the head.
And then there’s the withdrawal, of course.
I’d like to -- make a withdrawal,
ossiffer -- ha, ha, ha, ha --
She’s either seeing white rabbits
or pink elephants at this juncture.
One pill makes you larger,
and a speedball makes you sore.
Withdrawal? She’s addicted to -- ?
Might as well confess
you’re addicted to love --
We all have addictions, my love.
For some people it’s shopping, others, its sex --
some people get off on money, power, fame.
It’s all the same thing.
I’m Chauncey Gardener -- I like to watch.
Chick pulls out a large syringe. SQUIRTS it.
What the fuck is THAT?
Just a little booster to even her out.
He finds a vein in Ayanna’s arm. Taps it.
FLICKS the needle. Slides it in.
Presses the plunger down --
Ayanna’s eyes roll back.
Immediate, heavenly bliss.
(to Catalina, dreamy)
Mommy -- fucks so good --
Oh, baby -- what are we gonna do?
Now that’s an excellent question.
I would think you should join the party --
then we could get this shindig on the road,
be-bop-a-lula, she’s my girl.
'Join the party?'
Chick lays out a mirror.
Takes out a glassine envelope.
Pours powder out of it.
Starts chopping it up.
Back in the fifties, my first wife
was a real beatnik hep-cat.
She used to call it ‘balling the jack.’
(twitches his eyebrows)
And I, of course -- was JACK. HA.
I’m sorry, but I’m not
going to get addicted to --
(sits up, sees the powder)
Now that’s what I call balling the jack --
(offers the straw)
Nonsense. This is recreational use.
(gestures toward Ayanna)
And this is your playground.
Approved by the Surgeon General.
I wouldn’t want this to turn ugly.
C’mon, baby -- let’s party.
One lil-ol’ liney won’ hurt you --
She leans over.
HONKS up a fat line.
SNORTS. Eyes roll back.
Viscous fluid ERUPTS from her mouth.
Ayanna’s head falls back. THUD.
Now why did you have to go and do THAT.
He puts his stethoscope on her heart.
Feels her wrist.
What’s wrong!? What’s wrong!?
No pulse. Quick, don’t panic.
Hand me that case, NOW.
Catalina grabs a large aluminum container.
Chick opens it, YANKS out a
pair of paddles with electrical cords.
Open her blouse!
(RIPS it open)
Ohmigod, baby -- don’t die! Don’t die!
Mother Mary, full of grace --
Chick raises the paddles --
Turn it on!
Let me know when it hits 250!
What about giving her a shot
of adrenaline like in ‘Pulp Fiction?’
That’s a fucking MOVIE!
Fiction! Watch the red arrow!
Okay -- NOW!
One, two -- clear!
He ZAPS her chest -- BZZZZZZZZZZT!
Awaken! I COMMAND you!
He ZAPS her again -- BZZZZZZZZZZT!
Nothing. Not looking good.
Oh my god! Please, Lord -- DO SOMETHING.
Wake THE FUCK UP!
Chick ZAPS her --
BZZZZZZZZZZT! BZZZZZZZZZZT! BZZZZZZZZZZT!
Ayanna BOLTS UPRIGHT.
Eyes FLY OPEN.
Catalina and Chick sigh.
Relieved. Ayanna, big, goofy grin.
I’m hungry. Who wants pizza?
A phone RINGS.
Catalina fishes out her cell. Listens.
My husband --
(into the phone)
I’m on my way home.
Had a special client --
from the Surgeon General’s office.
What do you mean
the kids didn’t eat anything?
I told you they don’t like chili --
What about the chicken I -- ?
YOU ate it?
I told you to save that --
STOP yelling at me!
I’m on my way home!
Give them some cereal!
And this is your
last night in MY HOME. GOOD-BYE!
She SLAMS the phone shut.
Dark eyes flash with anger.
Idiot. I thought we were separated.
Could you please take me back
to the International?
My car’s there --
Chick glares at her. Leans over.
SNORTS a line. Then another.
Of course, my love.
I didn’t realize you had children.
(slurs, into the call box)
Driver. To the International.
And make it SNAPPY.
We have an errant mother
who needs to tend to her brood.
What about -- our party?
Sorry, baby -- party’s over.