A Fresh Start

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In today's installment of the 'special preview' of RIDGEWAY, Hollywood screenwriter Cate Salinger, after going bankrupt and losing her home, decides to drive to Arkansas to be with her online sweetheart ...


EXT. CROCI RESIDENCE - DAY
Sunlight dapples a tiny bungalow on a leafy street
full of similar beige blocks of stucco.
KIDS play across the street.

An oldish red Toyota convertible
is parked in the narrow driveway.
Bumper sticker reads EAT, PRAY, FUCK.

Welcome to Venice, California.
Not the palm tree version on TV.
David Duchovny never stayed here.

INT. CROCI RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY
Cozy, with a big, wood table.
Walls crammed with every utensil known to man.

Cupboards stuffed with provisions.
Sink and counter tops filled with dishes.

Oversized primitive art on the walls.
A tiny stereo plays French pop music.

Cate sips a glass of wine
at the crude wooden table,
watching ROBERTA CROCI (50) cook.

She’s a sturdy Italian with a
shock of dark hair and a nice, lived-in face.
Salt of the earth.

ROBERTA
So it was also no good?

CATE
Well, it was much bigger,
but it was also pretty disgusting.
And when he showed me how to
hook up the water, electric and propane,
I realized how complicated it is.
And I can’t hook that up in your driveway.

ROBERTA
About that --`
(off Cate’s look)
Vincente is coming home
from Italy after his surgery,
and things aren’t going to be the same.

CATE
Oh, shit. That’s right.
He’s gonna be convalescing.

ROBERTA
I’m sorry.

Cate takes a big hit of wine.
Fighting back tears.

ROBERTA
Why don’t you go stay
with your online girlfriend
until the money from your script comes in?
Then you can both move back together.

CATE
You mean -- move to Arkansas?

ROBERTA
You said she invited you --

CATE
Yeah. I thought it was crazy --
(a long beat, then -- )
But that was before she came to visit.
(thinks)
You know what?
That’s fucking brilliant.

ROBERTA
It makes sense.

CATE
I just pack up the car and drive there
with Bobby.

ROBERTA
A fresh start.

Cate smiles.
It lights up her face
like we’ve never seen.

CATE
A fresh start.

INT. KAYLA’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Kayla sits at the kitchen table
in front of her computer.

A BIG FLUFFY CAT stands
next to the mouse pad. Watching.

ON THE FLAT SCREEN
We see a Friendbook chat window.

A new conversation scrolls down:

Cate:
And then I felt a huge weight lift.
I’ll just pack up the fucking car
and drive -- to YOU.

Kayla:
This is incredible.
I’m so excited.

INT. CATE’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Cate sits at her work station typing furiously.

ON HER SCREEN

Kayla:
What are you gonna do about all your stuff?

Cate:
Roberta’s gonna let me store
my books and movies in her garage.
else I’m throwing away.
As George Carlin said,
‘It’s just stuff.’

Kayla:
I’m can’t believe this is happening.
It’s a like a dream come true.

CATE
Lights a smoke. Smiles. Starts typing.

Cate:
Yeah. The long nightmare is over.

And I’m gonna bring an ounce
of primo weed from Surfer Tom.

Kayla:
Wow. BIG love.

Cate:
BIGGER love, baby.

KAYLA
Smiles. Starts to type --
then the cat sits on her hand.

She tries to gently move it,
but it CLAWS at her, DRAWING BLOOD.

KAYLA
OW.

CATE
Looks at Bobby, staring at her
with big eyes.

CATE
I know, I know. It’s time.

She gets up. Grabs his leash.
Stops. Goes to the window.

EXT. CATE’S BUILDING - DRIVEWAY - DAY
Landlord is down there chatting with a NEIGHBOR.
Looks really pissed off.

Points up at Cate’s window.
Shakes his head.

CATE
Jerks away from the window.
Sighs. Looks at Bobby sadly.

CATE
Sorry, bebe.
We’re gonna have to wait a sec --

INT. CATE’S GARAGE - EARLY MORNING
Cate walks to her car with Bobby on his leash.
We see the back seat is filled to the brim.

She opens the front passenger door.
Bobby jumps in.

INT. CATE’S CAR - CONTINUOUS
Cate starts the engine. Looks at Bobby.
Panting happily.

CATE
Ready to go?

She smiles. Nods.
Puts it in reverse.
Starts pulling out.

INT. CATE’S CAR - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Out the window, we see the canal,
lined with airbrushed McMansions.
Cate shoves a cassette into the stereo.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
(electronic)
Regent Mystery Audio Books presents,
‘Have Blonde, Will Travel,’
by Carrie Love, read by Friday Foster.

Cate smiles. Cracks the window.
Grabs a smoke. Fires it up.

FRIDAY FOSTER (V.O.)
'The body was still warm,
lying in a pool of blood
on the bedroom floor -- '

EXT. WASHINGTON BOULEVARD - DAY
One of LA’s patented traffic clusterfucks.
Cate’s car is stuck in a motionless sea
of SUV’s, Beamers and Benzes.

IN THE CAR
Cate sighs. Now a bit deflated.
She was excited to be going
off on this new adventure,
but now has to wait.

FRIDAY FOSTER (V.O.)
'Kelsey grabbed her, shoved it in
her waistband and stormed out the door -- '

IN MONTAGE
Cate’s red Toyota on the Ten Freeway heading east.
Passing downtown LA. Then East LA.
Then scrub brush in the desert.

EXT. REST STOP - DAY
A cement block in the middle of nowhere.
110 degrees. Heat shimmers off the pavement.

One car in the lot.
Cate pulls in and parks. Gets out.
The heat punches her in the gut.

CATE
Holy shit.

She lets Bobby out.
Grabs his leash.
Then his bowl.

Takes them to a nearby water spigot. Fills it.
Watches him hungrily lap it up.

Looks around at the desolate landscape.
Miles and miles of nothing.
She could be on Mars.

CATE
What the fuck have I done?

Lost Angeles

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In the next chapter of our special, 'this week only' preview of RIDGEWAY, we flash back to the beginning of our story, where we meet Hollywood screenwriter Cate Salinger, who is being evicted from her home ... and her online squeeze, artist Kayla Moss.


EXT. COASTLINE - DAY
Sunshine so bright it hurts.
Not a cloud in the sky.

Deep blue ocean.
White sandy beach.

Just another day in paradise city
where the grass is green
and the girls are shitty.

EXT. COURTHOUSE - DAY
Your typical drab, pale puke
seventies-era courthouse.

But this is Santa Monica, California,
so the HOMELESS PEOPLE lying
on the grass outside are well-groomed.

A steady stream of LAWYERS, COPS,
DEFENDANTS and PLAINTIFFS stream in.

Some smiling. Some frowning.
And more than a few on the verge of tears.

LEGEND: ‘THREE MONTHS EARLIER.’

INT. COURTROOM - DAY
Small. Plain. Filled with the dregs of society.
And that’s just the lawyers.

Welcome to Eviction Court, where all day,
every day, people find out
the date they lose their home.

Standing before the
STERN BUT CUTE FEMALE JUDGE (40’s)
is Tall Woman, who we recognize
from the opening scene

Meet CATE SALINGER (40),
rakish in a black suit and hipster glasses.
Great-looking, but looks drained and stressed-out.

Standing next to her is her LANDLORD (70’s),
tall and skinny with a giant head like a lollipop --
and his LAWYER, a boisterous BIG GUY (50’s)
clutching a sheaf of papers.

STERN BUT CUTE FEMALE JUDGE
So you’ve agreed to vacate the premises
August eighth.

CATE
Yes, your honor.

STERN BUT CUTE FEMALE JUDGE
Please get a conformed copy
of the judgement from the clerk.

Stern But Cute BANGS her gavel.
Landlord glares at Cate.

She fidgets. Looks down.
Not her finest hour.

EXT. SHITTY APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
An old, run-down, baby vomit-colored shithole
nestled uncomfortably between two
gleaming three-million dollar mansion on a canal.

We see the beach across the street.
Then the top of a giant sailboat
gliding by in the distance.

Welcome to the Marina Del Rey peninsula,
a secret oasis on the outskirts of Lost Angeles.
Paradise found. Then lost.

INT. CATE’S APARTMENT - DAY
It’s borderline hoarder time
in what once was a light,
airy room with a wall of windows,
now stuffed to the gills.

Giant boxes filled with movies, books, CD’s,
clothes and other crap dot the joint.
Portrait of a writer as being evicted.

Cate picks up a giant garbage bag.
Takes it outside.

IN THE DRIVEWAY
She carries the bag
out to the trash bin.

It suddenly BREAKS OPEN, spilling
several dozen SHOES onto the pavement.

CATE
Goddamn cheap fucking dollar store bags.

She gets down on her knees.
Starts stuffing them into
what’s left of the ripped bag.

Then slowly, carefully carries
the unwieldy mountain of footwear to the trash.

A high-heeled platform shoe falls out.
HITS the pavement with a CLUNK.

EXT. VICTORIAN HOUSE - NIGHT
A faded Victorian home
on a cracked mountain top road.

Cheerfully painted orange, red and yellow.
A BLACK CAT stares ominously out the window.

Watches an ORANGE FOX trot by.
Then a brightly colored TROLLEY.

This is your brain on rustic.

A CHUBBY RETARDED GIRL (20’s)
wearing a tiara stands in the gravel driveway.

Slowly spins in a circle, arms outstretched,
smiling like some demented Eraserhead outtake.

A WOMAN (40’s) comes up the front walk.
Pretty, with short, curly brown hair
flecked with grey.

One long, lone tendril spins
down the side of her cheek.
Make art, not war.

Meet KAYLA MOSS,
self-proclaimed punk mountain dyke.

Kayla trudges up the stone walkway.
Goes to the door.

Looks at Chubby Retarded. Winces.
Goes inside.

INT. CATE’S APARTMENT - DAY
Cate sits at an old workstation
working her laptop.

BOBBY, a black spaniel-retriever mix
sleeps at her feet.

ON THE SCREEN
We see the social media website Friendbook.
A conversation scrolls down a chat window:

Kayla:
How are you doing?
Better? Did court go okay?

Cate:
Much better. Great news.
Landlord gave me a month.

Kayla:
That’s great!
How’s the fundraising going?

Cate:
We hit three thousand. Nice, huh?

Kayla:
Wow. Good going.
How’s the trailer hunt going?

Cate:
Looking at one in Malibu at three.
Wish me luck.

Kayla:
Oh, wow. Then you better get going.

Cate:
Yeah. Just wanted to give you the good news.
Will report back later.

Kayla:
I’ll be here. Waiting for YOU.

Cate smiles. Starts typing.
The lights flicker, then GO OUT.

CATE
Shit.

EXT. MALIBU BLUFF - DAY
A small TRAILER parked at the top
of a bluff in the dirt.

The view of the ocean is breathtaking.
The trailer, not.

A mobile home would be a mansion
in comparison. Whee-doggie.

A FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE PICKUP TRUCK
climbs up from the other side.

Parks next to the mobile shack on wheels.
Cate and a TALL, ACNE-SCARRED GUY get out.
Walk over to it.

CATE
This is -- up really high.

ACNE-SCARRED GUY
Hauled it up the other side.
Not the way we came.
No problem getting it down.

Acne-Scarred opens the door.
They go in.

INT. SHITTY TRAILER - DAY
Beyond sad. A tiny, threadbare
couch in the ‘living room’ with a
chipped table and ancient portable TV.

ACNE-SCARRED GUY
TV goes with me.

Cate nods. Goes to the ‘kitchenette.’
Grimy would be a compliment.

Looks at the hose coming in
through a window.

ACNE-SCARRED GUY
Water’s not hooked up.
Run that from the house down the way.

CATE
Parking it in a friend’s driveway.
Guess I could do that.

INT. SHITTY TRAILER - BEDROOM - DAY
Just big enough for a small bed and night table.
Cate squats down below the low ceiling.
Examines the filthy carpet.

ACNE-SCARRED GUY
You can have the table.

Cate nods, thinking.
Goes back down into the kitchenette.
Opens a door on the other side, looks into --

INT. SHITTY TRAILER - BATHROOM - DAY
Beyond crappy. Pun intended.
Tons of assorted junk is piled up
in the shower and on the tiny toilet.

A fly BUZZES around the brackish water
in the clogged sink.

ACNE-SCARRED GUY
I gotta commode outside.
(off her look)
Don’t worry.
I’ll clean all that stuff out.

PUSH IN on Cate’s face. In shock.

Misty Mountain Hop

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Tuesday It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Have a special treat for you today. Since the last few screenplays I've been posting on here are of a certain vintage -- because my last few scripts were 'work-for-hires,' and didn't fall into the crime groove on this blog -- I've decided to give you a special preview of my current project this week only. RIDGEWAY is a crime drama cable TV pilot (I'm not sure 'cable TV' applies anymore, because this series could end up on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc.) about a screenwriter who loses everything and turns to a life of crime. I'm gonna pitch it as a female BREAKING BAD, as it will be the first series that features a female anti-hero that's not tethered to a man (like Claire is in HOUSE OF CARDS). I was originally going to also use elements of TWIN PEAKS, but now that I'm writing it, the tone is more like BANSHEE (if you haven't seen this amazing series on Cinemax, you need to). Vince Gilligan pitched BREAKING BAD as 'Mr. Chips becomes Scarface.' In RIDGEWAY, Dorothy Parker becomes Lizzie Borden. Sound like fun?

So, without further adieu, I'm pleased to present Chapter 1 of RIDGEWAY, in which a sleazy redneck in the Ozark mountains has a rendezvous with a mysterious woman that ends with bullets, blood, broken teeth ... and a fistful of cash.


EXT. OZARK MOUNTAINS - DUSK
Fat white clouds poke the deep blue sky.

Rolling green hills stuffed
with pine trees out of a John Denver song.

A giant white statue of Jesus
stands at attention on the mountain peak,
arms outstretched like he’s gonna take a dive.

A narrow gravel road meanders up the mountain
to a shitty, old ramshackle cabin at the top.
Cue the banjo music.

A brand-new red double-dually PICKUP TRUCK
comes BARRELING up the road in a CRUNCH of gravel.

An ARMADILLO lazily skitters across the gravel.
The truck ROARS by and SQUISHES it,
CRACKING its shell with a CRUNCH.

EXT. SHITTY OLD CABIN - DUSK
A shack that looks like it’d fall over
if you sneezed on it.

The gravel road runs by it,
then disappears into a tunnel of trees
across the mountain ridge.

Dim light spills out
from behind dingy curtains.

The truck’s doors OPEN.
Out steps the DRIVER and a TALL WOMAN.

He’s got a big belly.
She’s quite the looker,
with a great rack.

INT. SHITTY OLD CABIN - NIGHT
Dimly lit by a kerosene lantern.

Empty except for a MAN
tied to a chair.

Badly beaten.
Covered in blood.

Mouth a ruined mess.
Teeth litter the floor.

Eyes closed.
Softly whimpering.

Driver and Tall Woman walk in.
A BIG, BALD BRUTE in overalls
and a Ducky Dynasty beard
looks at Driver and grins toothily.

BIG, BALD BRUTE
Finally told us where it is, boss.

Another MAN, intense-looking
with elaborate mutton chops and giant,
gnarled eyebrows eyes Tall Woman.
Smacks his lips.

MUTTON CHOPS
Who’s the cunt.

DRIVER
New business associate.

Driver pulls a thick,
banded wad of bills from his pocket.
Holds it in front of her face.

DRIVER
Five grand.
Like I promised.

Her eyes light up.
She reaches for it --
but he SNATCHES it away.

Pulls out a GUN.
Sticks it in her face.

DRIVER
First you gotta shoot
this piece of shit in the head.

TALL WOMAN
But what about hiring me to --

DRIVER
This man stole from me.
Now he needs to pay the piper.
Do you want the fucking money or not?
(off her look)
You want to write my story,
you gotta be IN my story.
(holds up the cash)
Go a long way round here --

She looks at Bleeding Guy.
Then at Driver’s henchmen.

Then again at the money.
Takes the gun in trembling hands.

DRIVER
Atta girl.

Walks over to Bleeding Guy.
Slowly raises it. Pauses.

Looks at Driver. He nods.
She takes a deep breath --

Takes aim -- and BANG,
SHOOTS him in the head.

Brains, skull and blood SPRAY the wall.
Driver TOSSES her the wad of bills.

DRIVER
She shoots, she scores.
(off her look)
Telling me about your girlfriend’s
brother-in-law on the force was the tip-off.
So now I got me an insurance policy.
(big grin)
You just did a hit for the Dixie mob.

A SIREN starts WAILING in the distance.

DRIVER
Whoops. Gotta go.
I trust you can find your way back home.
(winks)
Don’t spend it all in once place now,
ya hear?

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - NIGHT
Tall walks down the hill,
boots CRUNCHING on the gravel road.

Hears a siren WHOOP-WHOOP.
Then sees red lights FLASHING.

Starts trying to RUN back up,
but quickly gets winded from
years of too many cigarettes.

She turns, RUNS into the woods --
just as a COP CAR comes RACING up the road.

EXT. MOUNTAIN SLOPE - NIGHT
Tall DASHES across the steep hillside
through the underbrush and trees.

Stops. Catches her breath. Looks around.
Listens to the crickets CHIRPING.

She hears a twig SNAP. WHIRLS AROUND.
Sees a FAMILY OF DEER.

Momma, Poppa and two young ones.
Staring at her.

TALL WOMAN
(low)
Wow.

They DASH OFF into the darkness.

EXT. MOUNTAIN GORGE - NIGHT
Tall stands at the top of a giant gorge.
Looks down at the valley below.

Holds her watch up.
Squints in the moonlight.

A woodpecker suddenly
TAP-TAP-TAP-TAPS like a machine gun.

TALL WOMAN
SHIT.

She JUMPS, then TUMBLES down the steep hill --
and CRACKS into a tree at the bottom.
Gets up. Brushes herself off.

TALL WOMAN
Jesus christ --

Hears a low GROWL.
A GIANT BLACK BEAR
emerges from the foliage.

Flashes HUGE WHITE TEETH.
Tall stiffens.

Shaking with fear.
This ain’t Gentle Ben.

They stare at each other a long beat.
The beast suddenly REARS UP
on its hind legs, ROARS --
and starts CHASING her.

Tall SCREAMS. Starts climbing
the tree like she’s on fire.

She GRABS at a branch above her,
but it SNAPS off.

The beast SWIPES at her
with a meaty paw.

She tries to WHACK it with the branch,
but it GRABS it away from her. GROWLS.

She GRABS another branch.
Pulls herself up -- just as
the bear SINKS IT TEETH into her boot.

Thunder BOOMS. Lightning CRACKS.
It starts RAINING. HARD.

Remains Of The Lay

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In the final chapter of FULL BODY, Yuri and Mavra finally consummate their relationship, Lindsay and Gus come to a new understanding, and Summer heads off dreamland, where she finally gets to sing her big number at the club ...


EXT. PARKING GARAGE - MOMENTS LATER
Lindsey walks toward her car.

A big, black HUMMER
pulls into a space nearby.

A TALL, STRANGE-LOOKING WOMAN
gets out.

Walks hurriedly to the stairs.
Heels CLICK-CLICKING.

LINDSEY
(opens car door)
She’s built like a football player.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Lindsey.

LINDSEY
Huh?
(looks)
Gus?
What are you doing here?
You’re not -- stalking me, are you?

Gus appears.
Disheveled. Wild-eyed.

GUS
I need to talk to you.

Lindsey gets in.
SLAMS the door.
Lowers the window a crack.

LINDSEY
I have mace.

GUS
I’m -- not married.

LINDSEY
What? Why did you lie?

GUS
This is gonna sound like a --
Cameron Crowe movie.

LINDSEY
(rolls window down)
Ooh. I like Cameron Crowe movies.
You had me at ‘I’m coming.’

GUS
The thing is, I --
can’t stop thinking about you,
and I -- see, when
you say you’re married,
there’s no commitment,
it’s wham-bang-fuck-you-very-much, Ma’am.
But with you, I --

LINDSEY
DON’T say it.

GUS
No, no, no ---
I was going to ask if we could --
start over again.
We went too fast.

I really like you,
and I don’t want it to be --
just about sex.

LINDSEY
Oh, God. Not another one.
(beat)
I’m not -- emotionally available.

Gus deflates. Balloon punctured.

LINDSEY
It’s not you -- it’s me.

GUS
Well, there’s always -- sex?

LINDSEY
Sex is good --
(frowns)
But if I catch you in my driveway
at 3AM holding a goddamn boombox
over your head playing
Peter Gabriel’s ‘In Your Eyes,’
no nookie for G.I. Joe, comprende?

GUS
Absolutement.

LINDSEY
You speak French?

GUS
Oui, mon amour --

LINDSEY
Okay, get in.
But I’m driving you straight home.
I’ve had a long-ass fucked-up day.

GUS
(as he gets in)
Hey, wanna pick up a
Capitol-Burger on the way?
I’m fucking starving.

Lindsey’s stomach GROWLS.
Looks at Gus. Starts the engine.

LINDSEY
Good idea.
Let’s go stuff down our feelings.

INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - YURI’S OFICE - AT THAT MOMENT
Martin Frye of ABC’s swingin’ cover
of THUNDERBALL over --

Yuri and Mavra dance a twisted tango.
Yuri’s tie in her mouth.
Her black stocking in Yuri’s.

YURI
(sings)
He looks at this world,
and wants it all -

Etya watches from the doorway.
Delighted. Drinking vodka.

They turn. Stomp.
Dance toward the CAMERA --

YURI
So he strikes, like Thunderball --

THE TALL, STRANGE WOMAN
walks in.

Big, bug-like shades.
Cruel red lipstick sneer.

TALL, STRANGE WOMAN
Yuri Vlaovic!

Yuri and Mavra stop.
Startled. He goes to the stereo.

Shuts it off.
Grabs his chest.

YURI
Jesus fucking Christ on pointed stick.
You scared fucking shit out of me.

MAVRA
We’re closed.

ETYA
You are interrupting family reunion.

Tall WHIPS OFF her shades.

TALL, STRANGE WOMAN
(strangled, high-pitched)
It’s me, Hassig --
MS. Hassig, to you.

YURI
You are -- cross-dressing City Councilman?

MAVRA
City Councilwoman more like it.

ETYA
Ugly City Councilwoman.

HASSIG
Shut the fuck up.
I’ve come to tell you that your
precious little ordinance passed,
and that your lurid den of depravity
is safe.

YURI
Proslava! We drink toast!

HASSIG
No! No toast!
And I’m not paying you
another red cent!
I’ve resigned my post,
and I’m moving to San Francisco.
And I want your assurance
that our deal is done.

YURI
Deal? We had no -- deal.

Hassig pulls out a small derringer.

HASSIG
We do now.

Fast as lightning,
Yuri WHIPS out a Glock.
BANG. BANG. BANG.

Hassig, in shock. Looks down.
Big, red stain on his crotch.

YURI
Stupid bitch. Now you have TWAT!

BANG. Hassig hits the floor, THWUMP.

YURI
I find this -- bit of turn-on.
A bulge grows in his crotch.

MAVRA
Yuri, look. You have woody again.

YURI
(twirls gun)
Looks like I have answer for --
erectile dysfunction.

ETYA
Great. Another body.
And I suppose I have to get rid of?

MAVRA
Etya, take body to basement.
We’ll deal with it later.

ETYA
But, Mo-om --

YURI
Do what your mother says.
(to Mavra)
We need to -- dance.

Etya drags away Hassig’s body.
Mutters to herself.

ETYA
This family is running with blowtorch.

Yuri goes to the stereo.
Smiles wolfishly at Mavra.

YURI
I take you back to gimnazija dance.

He pops in a new CD.
Presses play. Turns it up.

The bizarre, ridiculously catchy
Austrian 80’S cold war power-pop of
Falco’s DER KOMMISSAR goose-steps over ---

MAVRA
Yuri. Is our song --

YURI
May I -- have this dance?

He takes her hand.
Twirls her. Stops.

And they dance.
Cheek to cheek.

It’s one of those
perfect movie moments.

Like Fred and Ginger.
Travolta and Thurman.
Ledger and Gyllenhaal.

INT. CATALINA’S HOUSE - NIGHT
The gazelle tip-toes into the living room.
TV on softly.

Some old black-and-white war movie.
Husband asleep in his chair.

IN THE KIDS ROOM
Catalina looks in.

TWIN GIRLS (4) sleep the deep, peaceful dreams
that only children have.
She smiles. Kisses goodnight.

INT. CHICK’S LIMO - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Chick, sound asleep. Mouth open.
Ayanna’s head on his lap.

Out like a light.
If you didn’t know better,
you’d think it was adorable.
Well, maybe --

INT. LINDSEY’S APARTMENT - AT THAT MOMENT
Lindsey sits in her bedroom at her desk.
Looking out the window at the moon.

She sighs. Opens a fast-food bag.
Pulls out a Capitol-Burger. Smiles.
And takes a bite.

INT. SUMMER’S APARTMENT - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer gets into bed. Still dressed.
Exhausted. Shuts off the light.

Burrows into the covers.
Closes her eyes.

INT. GROOVY NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT
Hooverphonic’s breathy trip-hopped dreamsicle,
MAD ABOUT YOU.

A glitterball throws a meteor shower
of colored lights over --

Summer, onstage with a power-pop trio.
Cheesy Farfisa organ.

Tremolo surf guitar.
Gorgeous in an outer-space minidress.

Platform boots. Waterfall of hair.
She shakes, undulates.

SUMMER
(sings)
Feel the vibe, feel the terror,
feel the pain -- it’s driving me insane --

She GRABS the mike off the stand.
Starts doing a nasty twist.

SUMMER
Trouble is my midd-le name,
but in the end I’m not too bad,
can someone tell me if it’s wrong
to be so mad -- about you?

PUSH IN ON Summer’s face.
Finding release.

FADE TO BLACK

Greed Is Good

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 34 of FULL BODY, Croatian crime boss Yuri Vlaovic and his long-lost wife Mavra bask in the glow of post-coital bliss, but get interrupted when wannabe night club singer Summer Donovan shows up and announces she wants to quit her job as an erotic masseuse at his spa ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - YURI’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Yuri and Mavra lie on the floor.
A tangled mess of spent passion.

Listening to soft music
playing on the stereo.

Yuri gets up.
Offers his hand.

MAVRA
Stay with me.
Is like we are
losing virginities.

YURI
Need smoke --
(pulls her up)
C’mere -- lubavnik.

She rises.
Gestures. Dips.

MAVRA
I like -- American remix.

YURI
Satellite radio.
Only the best
in land of opportunity.

MAVRA
(embraces him)
Opportunity knocks -- me up.

YURI
Opportunity had
fucking multiple orgasm.

The glittering syncopated intrigue
of Thievery Corporation’s
KILLER’S WALTZ starts, percolates over --

Yuri grabs his smokes from the desk.
Pulls out a pair.

Pops them in his mouth.
Lights up.

Hands her one.
She SNATCHES it.

YURI
Do you know
how to whistle?

MAVRA
(exhales luxuriously)
Darling.
Put lips together
and blow job.

YURI
We need to --
wait a bit.

MAVRA
Silly boy.
Who said anything about you?

They laugh. Nuzzle. Smoke.
Years of pain washing away.

YURI
Remember that summer in Zagreb,
after gimnazija dance?

MAVRA
When I gave you
hand job in vijecnica?

YURI
You said it more fun
than milking cow.

Oogie pops his head out
of Yuri’s jacket
lying on a chair.

YURI
Oogie.
There you are --

MAVRA
You still bring home
stray animals?

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Hello?
Is anybody here?

SUMMER appears in the doorway.
With Lindsey.

LINDSEY
Oh.
Sorry to -- interrupt --

SUMMER
Mr. Vlaovic.
Sorry to --

YURI
MR. VLAOVIC?
Yuri, please --
you must call me YURI.

The girls fidget.
Awkward. Staring at Mavra.

And the couple’s
state of near undress.

YURI
Ach.
I forget manners.
Summer, Lindsey --
I’d like you to
meet my wife, Mavra.

MAVRA
(bows)
Enchanted.

The girls exchange glances.

LINDSEY
But I thought -- your wife --

SUMMER
She -- passed away?

YURI
Was white lie
to hide pain and loss.
And now is miracle,
we are reunited.

MAVRA
(takes Yuri’s hand, kisses it)
Like vilderbeast
in Dalmatian forest.

Pause.

SUMMER
So, uh -- Yuri --

LINDSEY
Don’t let her do it, Yuri.
You can’t let her quit.

YURI
(to Summer)
You want to quit?
After only first day?

SUMMER
I’m sorry, but
I’m just not --
I can’t --

ETYA walks in.
Hands on hips.

ETYA
You cannot quit!
You are already most popular!
All your clients have
booked for you again.
And you made most money.
(beat)
Sorry.
Was eavesdropping.

SUMMER
They did?
I did? But --

YURI
Is ridiculous.
You not give us chance.
This is respectable
family business.
Sure, there is
occasional kinkiness,
but we perform valuable service --
helping movers and
shakers release tension.
We are doing duty
for seat of nation’s capitol --
in seat of pants.

Etya hands envelopes
to Summer and Lindsey.

ETYA
Go ahead.
Count it.
You made five thousand
fifty dollars, Ms. Donovan.

SUMMER
(looks)
Five thousand -- ?

LINDSEY
(looks)
That’s more than
twice what I --

YURI
I understand you might
find some of what you do
here to be a little -- unseemly.
But this is American way.
Greed is good.
Sometimes you have to get
down and dirty
in name of capitalism.
Look at Iraq war,
Haliburton, hello?
They fucking cleaned up.
And look at Madison Avenue.
Sex sells.
How else you explain
Doublemint Twins?
What we do isn’t
illegal or immoral,
is just -- business.
Profitable business.

MAVRA
Family business.

LINDSEY
Which could allow you
to follow your dream --

Pause.

SUMMER
Okay, you win.
Alright? Happy?
(beat)
But I’m taking tomorrow off --

Balling The Jack

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of FULL BODY, wannabe singer Summer Donovan tries to pick up the pieces after blowing her big audition at The Eighteenth Street Lounge. Meanwhile, Surgeon General Chick Almond is enjoying watching French/African gazelle Ayanna Prouxl's tryst with Portuguese temptress Catalina Gil in the back of his limo ... until Catalina OD's on a speedball ...


EXT. DOWNTOWN DC - 16TH STREET - NIGHT
Summer and Lindsey walk fast
down the sidewalk.

LINDSEY
C’mon, let’s get a cab. It’s late --

SUMMER
I fucked it up, Lindsey!
I fucked it up. Goddammit. I was THERE.
I sang for Eric Hilton and Rob Garza,
and I was GREAT -- until my
fucking NOSE started BLEEDING!

She stops. Loses it.
Starts crying. Lindsey hugs her.

LINDSEY
Shhhhh, it’s okay --

A RASPY MALE VOICE calls out.

RASPY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Yeaaaaah, gimmee some sugar.
Love da lezzies. Can I join in?

A SCARY GUY in a leather jacket approaches.
Leering. Rubbing his crotch.
Lindsey WHIPS OUT a can of mace. Aims it.

LINDSEY
Back the fuck off, asshole!
Go swing your dick somewhere else!

SCARY GUY
(walks away)
Fucking carpet-munchers --

LINDSEY
Loser! Go home and beat off!
(grabs Summer’s arm)
C’mon, let’s split a cab.
What part of town do you live?
(gives her a kleenex)
Here --

SUMMER
Thanks.
(dabs her eyes)
I gotta -- go back to the salon.
Get my jacket -- has my keys.

LINDSEY
Okay --

SUMMER
I can’t do it, Lina.
It’s -- too much.
I’m just not cut out for --

LINDSEY
You can’t quit!
We’re a team. Buds.
You’re part of the family --

PUSH IN ON Summer. Falling apart.

SUMMER
That’s why I’m -- running away from home.

INT. CHICK’S LIMO - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
The Brazilian pop-soul-funk of Anthony Marinell’s remix
of Herb Albert & The Tijuana Brass’s WHIPPED CREAM over --

The remains of the day.
Ayanna, hooked up to an IV.
Bandage across her forehead.

Catalina, in nurse position,
holding Ayanna’s hand.
More than a bit freaked out.

AYANNA
(sings)
Ba-ba-ba-bop-be-bedo-bee --

CHICK
(stops the IV, takes it out)
That’s enough -- don’t want you
getting all Karen Carpenter on me.

CATALINA
What were you giving her?

CHICK
Morphine drip. Poor girl
suffered quite a crack to the head.
And then there’s the withdrawal, of course.

AYANNA
I’d like to -- make a withdrawal,
ossiffer -- ha, ha, ha, ha --

CHICK
She’s either seeing white rabbits
or pink elephants at this juncture.
One pill makes you larger,
and a speedball makes you sore.

CATALINA
Withdrawal? She’s addicted to -- ?

AYANNA
Might as well confess
you’re addicted to love --

CHICK
We all have addictions, my love.
For some people it’s shopping, others, its sex --
some people get off on money, power, fame.
It’s all the same thing.
(freaky smile)
I’m Chauncey Gardener -- I like to watch.

Chick pulls out a large syringe. SQUIRTS it.

CATALINA
What the fuck is THAT?

CHICK
Just a little booster to even her out.

He finds a vein in Ayanna’s arm. Taps it.
FLICKS the needle. Slides it in.
Presses the plunger down --

Ayanna’s eyes roll back.
Immediate, heavenly bliss.

AYANNA
(to Catalina, dreamy)
Mommy -- fucks so good --

CATALINA
(hugs her)
Oh, baby -- what are we gonna do?

CHICK
Now that’s an excellent question.
I would think you should join the party --
then we could get this shindig on the road,
be-bop-a-lula, she’s my girl.

CATALINA
'Join the party?'

Chick lays out a mirror.
Takes out a glassine envelope.

Pours powder out of it.
Starts chopping it up.

CHICK
Back in the fifties, my first wife
was a real beatnik hep-cat.
She used to call it ‘balling the jack.’
(twitches his eyebrows)
And I, of course -- was JACK. HA.

CATALINA
I’m sorry, but I’m not
going to get addicted to --

AYANNA
(sits up, sees the powder)
Now that’s what I call balling the jack --

CHICK
(offers the straw)
Nonsense. This is recreational use.
(gestures toward Ayanna)
And this is your playground.
Approved by the Surgeon General.
(narrows eyes)
I wouldn’t want this to turn ugly.

AYANNA
C’mon, baby -- let’s party.
One lil-ol’ liney won’ hurt you --

She leans over.
HONKS up a fat line.
SNORTS. Eyes roll back.

Whoops.

AYANNA
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah --

She SPASMS.
Viscous fluid ERUPTS from her mouth.
Ayanna’s head falls back. THUD.

CHICK
Now why did you have to go and do THAT.

He puts his stethoscope on her heart.
Feels her wrist.

CATALINA
What’s wrong!? What’s wrong!?

CHICK
No pulse. Quick, don’t panic.
(points)
Hand me that case, NOW.

Catalina grabs a large aluminum container.
Chick opens it, YANKS out a
pair of paddles with electrical cords.

CHICK
Open her blouse!

CATALINA
(RIPS it open)
Ohmigod, baby -- don’t die! Don’t die!
(crosses herself)
Mother Mary, full of grace --

Chick raises the paddles --

CHICK
Turn it on!
Let me know when it hits 250!

CATALINA
What about giving her a shot
of adrenaline like in ‘Pulp Fiction?’

CHICK
That’s a fucking MOVIE!
Fiction! Watch the red arrow!

AYANNA
(watches it)
Okay -- NOW!

CHICK
One, two -- clear!

He ZAPS her chest -- BZZZZZZZZZZT!
No response.

CHICK
Awaken! I COMMAND you!

He ZAPS her again -- BZZZZZZZZZZT!
Nothing. Not looking good.

CATALINA
Oh my god! Please, Lord -- DO SOMETHING.

CHICK
I'm trying!
(to Ayanna)
Wake THE FUCK UP!

Chick ZAPS her --
BZZZZZZZZZZT! BZZZZZZZZZZT! BZZZZZZZZZZT!

Ayanna BOLTS UPRIGHT.
Eyes FLY OPEN.

Catalina and Chick sigh.
Relieved. Ayanna, big, goofy grin.

AYANNA
I’m hungry. Who wants pizza?

A phone RINGS.
Catalina fishes out her cell. Listens.

CATALINA
What now?
(mouths silently)
My husband --
(into the phone)
I’m on my way home.
Had a special client --
from the Surgeon General’s office.
(listens)
What do you mean
the kids didn’t eat anything?
(listens)
I told you they don’t like chili --
(listens)
What about the chicken I -- ?
(listens)
YOU ate it?
I told you to save that --
(listens)
STOP yelling at me!
I’m on my way home!
Give them some cereal!
And this is your
last night in MY HOME. GOOD-BYE!

She SLAMS the phone shut.
Dark eyes flash with anger.

CATALINA
Idiot. I thought we were separated.
(to Chick)
Family emergency.
Could you please take me back
to the International?
My car’s there --

Chick glares at her. Leans over.
SNORTS a line. Then another.

CHICK
Of course, my love.
I didn’t realize you had children.
(slurs, into the call box)
Driver. To the International.
And make it SNAPPY.
We have an errant mother
who needs to tend to her brood.

AYANNA
What about -- our party?

CATALINA
Sorry, baby -- party’s over.

Love Will Tear Us Apart

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 32 of FULL BODY, Croatian mobster Yuri Vlaovic and his ex-wife, assassin Mavra, have a stand-off at gun point which ends in a surprising reversal of hormones. Meanwhile, Israeli homicide dick Ben Fleck and Palestinian federal agent Ali Nassour close in on murderous security guard/wannabe pornographer Rod Katz, and then find an unusual way to reach detente.


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - OFFICE - NIGHT
A stand-off. Etya, gun at Silke.
Silke, gun at Etya.

Yuri, weapons on both.
Love, Croatian style.

YURI
Unhand my daughter.

MAVRA
(arms around Etya)
She’s my daughter, too.

ETYA
Is okay, Poppa. Don’t shoot.
She not want to harm us.

SILKE
What the fuck is this?
The Family feud?

Husband and wife
look at each other strangely.

MAVRA
Been a long time -- Yuri.

YURI
Since -- funeral.

MAVRA
Was good turn-out --

YURI
Why are you here -- now?

MAVRA
I’ve come for my daughter.

YURI
Over my dead body.

SILKE
That can be arranged.

MAVRA
Silke, stay out of this.

SILKE
Oh, yeah?

YURI
You heard the woman,
stay out of this.

SILKE
(points gun at YURI)
But she’s mine.
(to Mavra)
You’re MINE.

Yuri SHOOTS Silke in the chest.
BANG! BANG! BANG!

YURI
I told you to SHUT UP! Idiot.
She doesn’t BELONG to anyone.
She is free spirit.
Beautiful, brilliant
independent businesswoman.

He looks at Mavra shyly.
A glimmer of a smile.

MAVRA
Yuri?

ETYA
Poppa?

MAVRA
You mean all of that?

A BULGE slowly rises
in Yuri’s trousers.

YURI
I’ve been -- doing some reading.

MAVRA
Yuri. Is miracle.
You have -- woody.

YURI
(with wonder)
I have -- fucking hard-on.

He RACES to her. They embrace.
ATTACK each other like animals.

Yuri SWEEPS off the desk
with his arm. Turns --

YURI
(to Etya)
Get rid of body, give us some --
(looks at Mavra)
Privacy.

He lays her down on the desk.
Straddles her.

YURI
(to Etya)
Now!

ETYA
(in shock)
Yes, Poppa.

She goes to Silke’s limp body,
starts dragging him away.

MAVRA
(to Yuri, in Croatian, with subtitles)
Come to me, my Dalmatian doggie.

YURI
(in Croatian, subtitles)
My little pussycat. Meooow --

And they go at it.
Brutal. Tender.
Like never before.

EXT. THE INTERNATIONAL - ACROSS THE STREET - AT THAT MOMENT
The pitch-black, slit your wrist,
stabbed in the heart doom-pop
of Joy Division’s LOVE WILL TEAR US APART over --

Rod, sitting on the passenger side
of Hiroku’s Hummer.

Hiroku grips the wheel tightly.
Face clenched with rage.

ROD
(sips coffee)
Nice wheels, Henry.
What’s the mileage on this fucker,
six miles to the gallon?

HIROKU
(pulls gun on him)
It’s Hiroku, shit-head.

ROD
Okay, okay, put the gat away,
Hi-ro-ku. We be cool.
(weird smile)
Hi-ro-ku. We be cool. Ha.

HIROKU
We not be cool.
Let me do the talking,
you ignorant fuck.
Do the cops know anything?
Do they have any suspects?

INT. VAN - AT THAT MOMENT
ALI NASSOUR and BEN FLECK
sit in the back listening on headphones.

Staring at a chessboard.
Deep in thought.

NASSOUR
That’s it, baby. Sing to mamma.
(moves a piece)
I’ve got you now, Mossad wannabe.

FLECK
Pure genius.
Bugging his fucking Starbucks.
I gotta hand it -- to me.
(looks at the board)
That’s your move?
You play like Golda Meyer
strapped with dynamite
at a pre-school.

IN THE HUMMER
Rod fiddles with his coffee lid.

ROD
No, I told you. We’re cool.
I’m clean. They let me go.

HIROKU
I find it hard to believe
that a complete idiot could
get over on them so easily.

ROD
Excuse me?

HIROKU
You heard me.
How do you know
they’re not following you?

ROD
Following me?
Why would they follow me?

HIROKU
Because you KILLED THE FUCKING GIRL.

ROD
But they DON’T KNOW
I killed the fucking girl.

IN THE VAN
Nassour’s and Fleck’s eyes LIGHT UP.

They JUMP OUT of the van.
RACE toward the Hummer.

IN THE HUMMER

ROD
Hey, c’mon, now.
Put the gun down.
It might go off.

HIROKU
(screws on a silencer)
Oh, it’s gonna go off.
(CLICK)
I’ve decided you’re a
liability to my operation.
Get ready to go down
on cold, blue steel.

ROD
Wait! Let’s talk about this --
c’mon, Hi-ro-ku, I’m beggin’ you --

Hiroku flips open his cell phone.
Points it.

HIROKU
Smile for the camera, asshole --
time to meet your maker.
Think they’ll like it on YouTube?

Rod LUNGES for the gun --

ROD
NOOOOOOO --

BANG. Hiroku shoots him
between the eyes.

Blood SMEARS the window.
Rod slumps. Gone.

Hiroku smiles.
CLICKS the phone shut.

Nassour and Fleck
POUND on the windows.

NASSOUR
FEDERAL AGENTS.
OUT THE CAR.

FLECK
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

Hiroku rolls down his window. Smiles.

HIROKU
Hey, Ali. Scary.
Almost wet my panties.

NASSOUR
Hey. We gotta make it look good.

HIROKU
You get it all?

NASSOUR
Like Tricky Dick.
Good job, kid.
We manipulate the guard
into killing the bitch,
and then faster than
you can say ‘rogue operation,’
get his confession on tape.
God, I love this country.

Smiles all around.

HIROKU
What do you say we get a pitcher
and watch the Patriots game?

NASSOUR
Thanks, but we have -- our own game.

FLECK
First annual Israeli-Palestinian
grand master.

HIROKU
Huh?

NASSOUR
The sport of KINGS.

HIROKU
What?

(at the same time)
NASSOUR
CHESS.

FLECK
CHESS.

Hiroku rubs his chin. Thinks.

HIROKU
A little heavy-handed --
but still, an effective metaphor.

Shaken, Not Slurred

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 31 of FULL BODY, wannabe lounge singer Summer Donovan gets her big chance onstage at The Eighteenth Street Lounge, DC's hippest night spot. Meanwhile, across town, Portuguese temptress Catalina Gil's big dinner date with French-African souffle Ayanna Proxul hits the skids when Ayanna OD's in the ladies' room ...


INT. EIGHTEENTH STREET LOUNGE - MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
Thievery’s house-dub remix of
Nora Jones’ ANGELS over --

Gianluca. In a dark corner
huddled with ERIC HILTON (30’s).

Pale, good looking.
Shaken, not stirred.

Azure eyes glint with
the secrets of success.
Twinkle with passion.

ERIC
But we didn’t send for another artist.

INTENSE HISPANIC MAN
What were you thinking?
Are you high?

Meet ROB GARZA (30’s), Eric’s partner.
Hispanic, broad-shouldered.

Serpentine soul patch, sideburns.
Glossy black hair pulled back
under a middle-eastern cap.
Dark eyes flash.

ERIC
Go find the girl.
Escort her out.

GIANLUCA
But she --
(pulls out CD)
Said she sent you this.
Signed her to the label --

ROB
(takes the CD, looks at it)
You fell for THIS?
Every kid in the lounge
has a demo.

ERIC
Easy, Rob -- I get it.
(to Gianluca)
She must be -- exquisite.

GIANLUCA
She, she -- is.

ERIC
(sees something)
You’re right.
She is.

They turn their heads.
Look at --

SUMMER
standing on a raised platform
in the middle of the room.

Wrapped in silk.
Draped arms rise.
A butterfly.

BRITISH FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Ladies and gentlemen,
Messieurs and Madams,
the Eighteenth Street Lounge
is proud to present`--

The aching, yearning,
supple trip-hop of Hooverphonic’s
CLUB MONTEPULCIANO oozes over --

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Wednesday.

Summer reaches the sky.
Glorious. Taking flight.

SUMMER
(sings)
Fiona said something nice to me,
green velvet jacket sets you free --
Club Montepulciano is what you need --

(beat)
Blue Hawaii, Picadilly whore --
a cocktail is what I’m hoping for --

THE CROWD
is entranced.
She’s a hit.

A DIPLOMAT in a
white dinner jacket
leans over.

Whispers in a
RASTA’S ear.

A TURBANED SHEIK nods.
Riding the wave.

SUMMER
shimmies and sways to the music.
Losing herself.

A RIVULET OF BLOOD
trickles out of her nose.

Runs down her face.
Into her mouth.

A TRUST FUND HIPSTER
notices. Grins.
Points. Laughs.

SUMMER
tastes something wrong.
Wipes her nose.

Sees the blood. GASPS.
Turns, RUNS off the stage,
WHIRLS through the crowd.

SUMMER
I’m sorry! I’m Sorry! I’m sorry --

ROB AND ERIC
watch her go.

ROB
Shame.

ERIC
Nice voice.

ROB
Yeah --

ERIC
What was her name again?

INT. DHUMBA RESTAURANT - AT THAT MOMENT
Catalina sits at a primo table.
Pulls out her cell phone.

Turns it on.
Listens to a message.

Rolls angry eyes.
Puts it away.
Looks at her watch.

CATALINA
What is she doing?

IN THE LADIES’ ROOM
Ayanna pulls herself up.

Grabs the paper roll,
which TEARS OFF.

She loses her balance,
BANGS against the door --

AYANNA
Uhh!
Careens forward. Slips.
BANG. Head HITS the sink.

HITS the tiles with a CRACK.
Say good night, Gracie.

IN THE RESTAURANT
Catalina reads the menu.

CATALINA
Sweet and sour lamb?

A SCREAM from the back.
PATRONS whip their heads, look.

A WAITRESS appears.
Blood on her hands.

FREAKED-OUT WAITRESS
There’s a woman in the ladies’ room
with her skull cracked open!

CATALINA
Ayanna!

Chick FLIES BY her table.

CHICK
Twenty-four skiddoo
on the 911, doll-face -- c’mon!

They race toward the commotion.

CATALINA
How did you -- ?

CHICK
She let her fingers do the crying --

Survival Of The Fastest

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.


In Chapter 30 of FULL BODY, wannabe singer Summer Donovan gets cold feet before her debut performance at the club, so she scores a little rastaman vibration to calm her nerves. Meanwhile, French-African temptress Ayanna Prouxl has a bad reaction to her first date with heroin, so she calls the Surgeon General for help ... but unfortunately, he's distracted by a trio of hookers in the back of his limo ...

INT. NIGHTCLUB - UPPER FLOOR LOUNGE - NIGHT
Eye Patch shows the women
into a candlelit dressing room.

Tapestries.
Oversized pillows on the floor.
Incense burning.

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
Make yourself at home.

SUMMER
(staring)
Thanks, uh --

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
Gianluca.
(whispers)
Break a leg -- Wednesday.

He leaves.
Summer softly closes the door.

SUMMER
Holly fucking shit. We did it.
(turns)
Never thought an eye-patch could be hot.

LINDSEY
What do we do now?

Pause.

SUMMER
I guess I’m going to have to sing.

DOWN THE HALL
in another dressing room,
sits SALI’, the headliner.

Pan-Asian/Jamaican goddess.
Sultry in native silk.

Waterfall of dreadlocks
frame island perfection.

Right now she’s finishing
rolling a big spliff.

Licks it.
Holds it up to the light.

SALI’
An offering -- to Jah.

She digs into her large canvas bag.
Searching.

SALI’
Shit.

IN SUMMER’S DRESSING ROOM
the girls sit on kilms
atop straw mats on the floor.

Lindsey dumps coke on her compact.
Starts chopping lines.

SUMMER
What have I gotten myself into --

LINDSEY
Just relax.
Couple-a toots up the Maytal,
and you’ll be ready
to rock the Casbah.

Summer leans over.
Does one. And another.
Offers the straw.

A soft KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK
at the door.

SUMMER
Shit, cover it up.
(to the door)
Hold on a sec!

Lindsey deftly closes the compact.
Slides it under a pillow.

Sali’ shuffles in.
Beaming. Arms outstretched.

SALI’
Greetings, sisters.

SUMMER
Sali’ -- hi.

LINDSEY
You know her?

SUMMER
Sali’s the headliner.

SALI’
The honor is mine.
Sorry to interrupt your ritual, but --
(holds up the joint)
I need to catch a fire.
Can you help out a sister in need?

Summer pulls out her lighter.

SUMMER
Have a seat.
Care to share your Rastaman vibration?

SALI’
(sits)
No woman no cry.
(beat)
I smell -- fear.

Summer lights Sali’s spliff.
She nods. Inhales.

SUMMER
Fear?

Sali’ holds it in.
Her eyes start to water. Then --
EXHALES a cloud of smoke.

SALI’
(offers it to Summer)
Yes. You are afraid of your passion.
Your pleasure. Your -- art.

SUMMER
(takes it)
No --

Summer takes a big hit.
Eyes wide. Hands it to Lindsey.

LINDSEY
She’s not afraid, she’s just a little --
(inhales)
Nervous about performing.

SALI’
(takes the spliff)
A tigress in the jungle
can smell fear from a hundred feet away.
That’s how she finds her prey.
Animal instinct.
Survival of the fastest.

And with that, she takes a large toke.

SUMMER
So what do you do to -- calm your nerves.

Sali’ exhales, CHOKES with laughter.

SALI’
My dear girl --
(passes the joint)
This.

PUSH IN ON Summer.
Taking the joint. Nodding.

INT. DHUMBA RESTAURANT - LADIES ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Ayanna stands at the sink.
Splashes cold water on her face.

AYANNA
I feel -- sick. Have to -- sit down.

Weaves toward the loo.
SLAMS a door open.

LURCHES into the stall.
GRABS the walls.

Lands on the toilet seat, BANG.
Rummages through her purse.
Pulls out her cell. Dials.

AYANNA
C’mon -- answer, you old fuck.

SPLIT SCREEN WITH:

INT. STRETCH LIMOUSINE - MOVING - DAY
Bratty, nasty, techno-fuck.
Peaches’ SLIPPERY DICK over --

Chick Almond sits with
a pair of HISPANIC HOOKERS.

Hands them each a
length of tubing from a large hookah.

CHICK
My stars!
No, it’s NOT for smoking crack.
It’s for cannabis.
Crack is for street trash.
(realizes)
Present company excluded, of course.

The girls look at him blankly.

CHICK
Mary Jane? Reefers?
(off their stares)
Da chronic?

The hookers smile.
Chick’s cell VIBRATES.

CHICK
Whoa, Nelly.
Gotta rocket in my pocket.
(pulls out cell)
Hold that thought --
(listens)
This is Dr. Almond’s phone.

AYANNA
Dr. Almond, uh -- Chick?
I need your help.

CHICK
Saints preserve us.
Your first jones.
Poor thing.
How are you feeling?

AYANNA
Like shit.
Can you come -- help me?

CHICK
But of course.
You’re my favorite patient.
Where are you?

AYANNA
Dhumba, it’s this restaurant --

CHICK
I know it well.
Pan-fried hummus to die for.
I’ll be there faster
than two shakes
of a prawn’s tail.
Just sit tight.

He shuts off the phone.
Looks at the hookers.

Reaches over.
Hits a call switch.
Speaks into it.

CHICK
Driver. Please stop the car.
(to the hookers)
I’m sorry ladies,
I have a patient
to take care of.

HAIR EXTENSIONS HOOKER
We ain’t goin’ nowheres
till you PAY us,
cracka mutha-fucka.
My time be MONEY.

GIANT GOLD EARRINGS HOOKER
Yeah, you think you can just
kick us outta da car,
you skanky ol’ white piece-a shit,
mutha-fucka?

Chick pulls out a REVOLVER.

CHICK
You foul-mouthed -- CUNTS.
This could have ended nicely,
with a tidy profit for each of you.
But you’ve insulted my intelligence
with your mercenary greed
and racial slurs.
(KICKS the door open)
Get out of the car NOW,
before I blow off your
surgically enhanced fun-bags.

The girls SCRAMBLE out.
SLAM the door.

CHICK
Driver. To Dhumba.
And step on it --
we have a damsel in distress.
(low, to himself)
Weak in the knees,
and ripe for the licking --

Your Vice Is My Command

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 29 of FULL BODY, wannabe chanteuse Summer Donavan takes Australian spinner Lindsay Lett to The Eighteenth Street Lounge, the hippest club in DC, where she fools the doorman into thinking she's on the A-list. Meanwhile, French/African temptress Ayanna Prouxl takes Portuguese gazelle Catalina Gil to Dhumba, DC's chicest restaurant, where they get 'up close and personal' ...


EXT. THE EIGHTEENTH STREET LOUNGE - NIGHT
From a window, Thievery Corporation’s remix
of Anoushka Shankar’s BELOVED
soars on silky, milky-smooth wings over --

A decrepit, peeling mattress store.
Above it --

The Eighteenth Street Lounge.
Occupying the top floors of an old mansion.

Gutted and retrofitted for the ultra-hip.
Super-suave meets lava lamp cool
meets glitterball, hookah bliss.

Summer leads Lindsey by the hand up to the door.
No velvet rope. Or doorperson.
A small gold plaque reads ‘ESL.’

SUMMER
Funny.
I read it was open every night.

LINDSEY
Ring the buzzer.

Summer does.
Chimes are heard from within.

SUMMER
C’mon, someone’s gotta be there.

A panel in the door slides up.
A dark-skinned goateed MAN (20’s)
with an eye patch peers out.

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
I’m sorry. Private party.

SUMMER
I know that. I’m the opening artist.

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
Nice try. The opening artist cancelled.

LINDSEY
Hello? That’s why she’s here --

SUMMER
Yeah. Rob Garza called me. Go get Rob.

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
He’s -- busy.

LINDSEY
You don’t recognize ‘Wednesday’?
The new artist ESL just signed?
You wanna get fired?

SUMMER
(pulls CD out of her bag)
Here’s a demo. I’ll sign it for you,
it’ll be a collector’s item.

(beat)
I don’t do the diva thing very well
(smiles)
Yet.

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
(looks at the CD, then her)
Okay -- come in.

He leads them up a narrow, steep staircase.

EXT. ALLEY - RESTAURANT - AT THAT MOMENT
The Bombay trip-hop curried beats of
Feel Good Production’s THE FEEL GOOD VIBE over --

Ayanna leads Catalina down a dark set of steps.
Catalina hesitates. Looks around.
Ayanna hits off a joint.

CATALINA
What is this place?

AYANNA
The hippest joint in DC, baby.
If it was easy to find, the peasants
and heathens would ruin it for the fabulous.

CATALINA
Okay. Give me a hit.

Ayanna carefully puts the joint
in her mouth, lit end in. Concentrates.
BLOWS smoke into Catalina’s mouth.

The vixen inhales. Smiles.
Ayanna leans in. Kisses her.

PERSIAN MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Ladies. You’re blocking the stairs.

THE PERSIAN MATRE D
stands in the doorway. Looking up.
Oily. Rakish. Delighted.

PERSIAN MATRE D
Not that I mind.

The girls pull out of their clinch.

CATALINA
Sorry --

AYANNA
I’m not. Hey, there. Table for two?

He bows deeply. Motions for them to come in.

PERSIAN MATRE D
Your vice is my command.

INT. EIGHTEENTH STREET LOUNGE - MAIN ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Thievery Corporation’s remix of The Januaries’
THE GIRL’S INSANE pulsates, shakes and shimmers over --

Lux digs. Hardwood floor. Persian rugs.
Overstuffed couches. Jungle foliage.
A roaring fire near the bar. Way past cool.

A private party in full swing.
Cosmopolitan bright young things.
Rastas. Sheiks. Euroflash.

Ultra-babes from all four corners.
Lounging. Mingling. Sipping. Glittering. Glowing.

Summer and Lindsey follow Eye Patch.
Float through the crowd.

LINDSEY
Who’s the party for?

MAN WITH EYE PATCH
Anoushka Shankar. Her birthday.

SUMMER
Ravi’s daughter --

LINDSEY
Ravi?

SUMMER
Ravi Shankar?
He only introduced the sitar to the Beatles.

Summer puts her hands above her head.
Joins them in an inverted ‘V.’
Shimmies back and forth, undulates.

SUMMER
(sings)
The girl’s insane --

LINDSEY
The girl’s possessed.

PUSH IN ON Summer’s face. Home.

INT. DHUMBA RESTAURANT - AT THAT MOMENT
The sacred sitar-beat of Hindi Ensemble’s BOMBAY over --
Matre D leading the women into the restaurant.

PERSIAN MATRE D
Welcome to Dhumba, ladies.
My name is Mehran.
I will be your culinary guide.

CATALINA
What kind of restaurant is this?

MEHRAN
Thai-Persian fusion.
(gestures)
Have a seat at the bar
while we get your table ready.

He bows. Leaves. The women sit.

CATALINA
Wow. What service.

AYANNA
Are you kidding?
Did you see the raging hard-on
in his Dolce and Gabannas?
He’s ready to shoot chick peas.

CATALINA
Shhh. We’re not at work.

The HOLLOW-FACED THAI BARTENDER leans over.
Grins toothily.

HOLLOW-FACED THAI BARTENDER
What can I get you ladies?

CATALINA
I’ll have a Kir Royale, please.

AYANNA
Make it two.

Ayanna blinks. Shakes her head. Rubs her temples.

CATALINA
Are you okay?

AYANNA
I’m not -- feeling so --

She slides off the bar stool.
Stands. Unsteady.

CATALINA
Ayanna, what’s wrong?

AYANNA
I -- have to go to the ladies’ room.
I’ll be right back --

CATALINA
I’ll come with you --

AYANNA
No, shhhh. Save my seat, it’s okay --

She weaves away. Catalina frowns.
Puts her bag on Ayanna’s stool.

The bartender slides over their drinks.
An AFRICAN PRINCE sits
on the other side of Catalina.

Natty in his native Dashiki.
Grins a gold-toothed smile.

AFRICAN PRINCE
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Prince Ja’Far Ngdelgachela.
At your service.

CATALINA
I’m sorry, but I’m waiting for my friend.

JA’FAR
Please. I simply desire pleasant conversation.
What do you do for a living?
Are you a fashion model?

CATALINA
I’m a -- massage therapist.

Ja’far beams. Gestures at his lap.
Makes a ‘jerk off’ motion.

JA’FAR
What would you charge to assuage
the raging current of fertility
which inflames my loin?

Catalina RECOILS in shock.
Slides off her stool. Quivering.

CATALINA
WHAT did you say?!

Mehran appears.

MEHRAN
Is everything alright?

CATALINA
No, everything is NOT alright.
That man -- said something VERY rude --
and he’s --

MEHRAN
Please. Come with me. Your table’s ready.

They start walking.

CATALINA
Aren’t you going to throw him out?

MEHRAN
I can’t -- he’s the owner.

Instant Karma

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 28 of FULL BODY, Croatian vixen Etya Vlaovic prepares to defend herself against her mother Mavra's imminent assassination attempt. Meanwhile, her father Yuri races to the scene to try and save her life ...


EXT./INT. CHECKER CAB - MOVING - NIGHT
Etya drives like a maniac.
Reaches an intersection.

The light turns RED.
She JAMS on the gas.

ETYA
(out the window)
Out of way! Look out, look out!

She sees a INDIAN HOTDOG VENDER
pulling a cart into the intersection.

She HITS the brakes, slows,
but she’s too late --
and SMACKS into it, BANG.

Hotdogs, buns, condiments SPRAY
into the air.

And the VENDOR -- who FLIPS UP --
And lands on the hood of the cab, SMACK.

He GRABS onto the windshield.
Screaming and cursing.

INDIAN VENDOR
Stupid fucking bitch!
You ruin my CART, motherfucker!

Etya STEPS ON IT.

ETYA
Fucking DOT-HEAD! I can’t SEE!

She SWERVES left, then right,
tries to shake him off.

Reaches the next intersection.
A CITY BUS goes by.
Blocking the way.

She JAMS on the breaks.
The vendor goes FLYING over the car --

ETYA
(sings)
Say goodbye to Bollywood --

And CRASHES into a newsstand -- BANG.

ETYA
Say goodbye my bay-bee!

Steam rises from the hood.
The engine DIES with a COUGH.

ETYA
NOOOOOOO!

The INDIAN VENDOR appears in the window.
Battered and bloody.

INDIAN VENDOR
Instant karma, bitch.

ETYA
You!
Etya SUCKER-PUNCHES him, BANG.
Out like a light.

ETYA
I thought I smelled curry.

EXT. 14TH STREET - AT THAT MOMENT
Yuri GALLOPS down the street.
SNAPPING the reins.

YURI
Go! Go! Go! GO!

The horse stops.
RAISES its front legs. WHINNIES.

YURI
What the fuck you stop for!
C’mon, let’s go! Giddy-fucking-UP!

Nothing.

YURI
Fucking HORSE.
I said, GIDDY-UP, GODDAMMIT.

A beautiful WHITE MARE comes into frame.
Pulling a tourist carriage.
The stallion starts nuzzling the mare.

Yuri jumps off.
The horse gives him a look.
‘Beat it.’

YURI
Okay, I’m sorry. I go.
(beat)
Everybody getting laid but me.

EXT. THE INTERNATIONAL - FRONT ENTRANCE - AT THAT MOMENT
Etya races up the steps.
FLINGS open the front door.

RUNS inside.
SLAMS the door shut behind her.
LOCKS it.

Wipes her brow. She’s a mess.
Filthy. Bloody. Sweaty.

ETYA
Okay. Must get ready --

IN HER OFFICE
Etya goes to the safe. Opens it.
Pulls out a large chrome 357 MAGNUM.
Fondles it lovingly.

ETYA
Is only fitting I use her gun.
She deserted us, and now comes back?
I spit on her, I -- I --
(beat)
Drink to her demise.

She goes to the bar.
Opens a bottle of vodka.

Pours a stiff one.
Takes a sip. Walks into --

THE FRONT ROOM
Etya sits at the reception desk.
Puts down the drink.

ETYA
No. Am sitting goose.

She goes to the lights.
Shuts them off.

IN THE DARK

ETYA (V.O.)
Now. Where to hide?

MAVRA (V.O.)
Hide? Hide? HIDE?
I didn’t teach you to HIDE like a COWARD.
I taught you to CONFRONT danger,
meet it HEAD-ON, like WARRIOR.

ETYA (V.O.)
M-momma?

MAVRA (V.O.)
Surprise, boobala.
Just flew in from Dubrovnik,
and boy are arms tired.
Turn on light.
I want to see you.

Etya’s gun CLICKS.

ETYA (V.O.)
Stay where you are.
Don’t move oyster.

MAVRA (V.O.)
I’m not going to hurt you, Etya.
(choking with emotion)
I came all this way -- to see you.

ETYA (V.O.)
You -- did?
(beat)
No. No way --

MAVRA (V.O.)
I don’t want to hurt you.
You’re my daughter.
(softly)
My baby.

Lights SNAP on.
and Mavra face off.
Each with a gun.

ETYA
But you’re -- pointing weapon at me.

MAVRA
I may be sentimental,
but I’m not an idiot.

They stare at each other.
Taking it all in.

MAVRA
You look good. Healthy.
A bit torn up from big chase scene, but good.
Really good. Where’s your father?

ETYA
He’s on the way.
And if you try and kill him,
I’ll, I’ll -- kill you.

MAVRA
You won’t kill me.
I’m your mother.

ETYA
Who abandoned family.

MAVRA
I was made Zagreb laughingstock.
Your father never made love to me,
he drove me into arms of other men.

ETYA
So now you’re saying I’m
not flower of father’s fertilizer?

MAVRA
Of course not.
We use turkey baster.
Can’t you see resemblance?
(looks at her)
And you are even more beautiful --

ETYA
You’re not going to butter me.

MAVRA
What is -- butter you?

ETYA
Is compliment to get what you want.

MAVRA
But I -- just want you to love me.

ETYA
Kiss my dick.

MAVRA
No, is true. Look. I put down gun.
(tosses it)
You’re my daughter, my only child.
I love you, Etya. Please. Come to Momma.
Let me take you away from all this.
(meaningfully)
We can start our own crime family.

Etya lowers her gun.
Collapses into Mavra’s arms.

They hold each other.
Pull apart. Kiss.
.
YURI (O.C.)
Now look what we have here.
Regular family reunion.
Is ‘Full House.’

YURI
steps into frame.
GUN aimed at Mavra.

YURI
Mavra. Still lovely, as always.
Sight for sore eyes.

PUSH IN ON Mavra.
Eyes dancing with danger.

MAVRA
Yuri.
Still with extension of penis, I see --

To Protect And Swerve

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of FULL BODY, it's the mother of all chase scenes when Croatian mobster Yuri Vlaovic chases his ex-wife Mavra and her henchman Silke Derevko and his child bride Elvissa through the streets of DC to try and prevent her from executing their daughter Etya ...


EXT. 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE - NIGHT
The drum-and-bass propeller-swirling dervish
spy guitar of Paul Oakenfold's SWITCH ON takes off.
Mavra ROARS by the White House.

YURI’S LAMBORGINI
approaches from behind.

INT. YURI’S LAMBORGINI - MOVING

YURI
(sees Mavra, excited)
There you are, my little skakavak!
Come to Poppa!

Just then, the ENGINE DIES.
The car slows. Stops.

FEMALE ROBOTIC VOICE (V.O.)
Out of gas.

Yuri POUNDS on the steering wheel.

YURI
No shit, stupid cunt!

He KICKS open the door.
JUMPS out into the street.

WHIRLS around. Looking.
Looking. Then sees --

A WOMAN
getting into a Porsche SUV
parked on the other side.

YURI
sprints into traffic.
Cars WHOOSH by. Horns HONK.

ANGRY YOUNG GUY
Asshole!

YURI
Fuck your mother!

He reaches the Porsche.
GRABS the door handle.

WHIPS out a pistol.
BANGS on the window.

YURI
Open up! Open up!

The doors CLICK.
The WOMAN glances at him.

Weird smile.
Mouths ‘bullet-proof.’

GUNS the engine.
TAKES OFF.

YURI
Shit! Shit! Shit!

He WHIRLS AROUND.
Looks. Sees --

AN ANGRY MUSTACHED MOTORCYCLE COP
pulls up behind him, lights FLASHING. Stops.

JUMPS off his bike.
WHIPS OUT his piece. Takes aim.

MUSTACHED MOTORCYCLE COP
Put the gun down,
or you’re hamburger meat!

YURI
Is alright, officer.
Have explanation.

He DROPS his piece.
It CLATTERS to the ground.

The cop walks over to Yuri, gun drawn.
Pulls out handcuffs.

MUSTACHED MOTORCYCLE COP
Who the fuck do you think you are,
Tony Soprano?

Yuri SUCKER-PUNCHES
the cop in the face, BANG.
He goes down.

YURI
Hell, no. He’s wimp.
Goes to shrink.

Walks over to the cop’s bike.
Gets on.

HITS the gas pedal.
The engine ROARS. Yuri smiles.

YURI
Fat fuck eats too much.
Disgusting, American pig.
And besides -- I’m real.

INT. CHECKER CAB - MOVING
Etya, in the back seat,
POUNDS on the window separator.

ETYA
Faster! Go faster!

The ANGRY BLACK CABBIE turns around.
YELLS at Etya.

ANGRY BLACK CABBIE
I’m going the speed limit!
I’m not gonna get a fucking ticket
for some skanky white bitch!

ETYA
Skanky white BITCH?!
Negro motherfucker!
How DARE you!

And, in an adrenaline rage,
Etya leans back.

Raises her legs.
KICKS OUT the separator.

Grips him in a headlock with taught ankles.
The driver SWERVES. Panicking. Gagging.

ANGRY BLACK CABBIE
Ak! Ug! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

Etya steers the wheel with her heels.
SHRIEKS with laughter.

ETYA
Hit the brakes, BOY.
Or I SNAP your chicken NECK!

He does. The car SWERVES.
Stops by the side of the road.

ETYA
Open the fucking door!

He does. GASPING for air.
And, like spinning a top,
she WHIRLS him out of the car
onto the pavement, THWAP.

Etya jumps in the driver’s seat.
SLAMS the door shut.

ETYA
Next time passenger say to go faster, do it!
Customer always right!

EXT. CORNER OF L STREET AND 17TH STREET - AT THAT MOMENT
Mavra’s chopper turns, swerves.
Silke’s bike pulls alongside.

SILKE
This is wrong street!
Is eleventh street,
not seventeenth street!

MAVRA
What?

Distracted, Mavra doesn’t notice
an OIL SLICK on the street.

The bike turns, FLIPS, SKIDS,
CLATTERS against the pavement.

Mavra’s THROWN in the air like a rag doll.
BANGS into a storefront window.
EXPLODES in a million shards of glass.

Silke’s bike hits the oil,
FISHTAILS, PLOWS into a cafe.
Tables and patrons go FLYING.

The sidecar SEPARATES --
SHOOTS down the sidewalk,
BANGS off the curb into the street.

A CITY BUS
SLAMS into it with a ROAR. Gone.

MAVRA
picks herself up.
Brushes off broken glass.
Shakes a fist.

MAVRA
Idiot! My bike is RUINED!

Silke hobbles over.
Scraped. Bruised. Bleeding.

SILKE
I’m an idiot?
YOU’RE an idiot!
Stupid bitch! Elvissa’s dead!
My daughter, my love, my everything!

MAVRA
Shut up! Time is wasting!
You can adopt, get new bride.
Like Woody Allen.

SILKE
Just go, alright?
I’ll catch up with you.
I -- need moment.

MAVRA
Moment? You have MINUTE.
And then get ass in gear,
I’m going to need backup.

He nods.
She takes off on foot.

YURI
comes FLYING around the corner, just as --

A COWBOY COP ON HORSEBACK
comes galloping toward the ruined cafe.
He sees Yuri on the stolen police motorcycle.

COWBOY COP
You! Stop! Police!

Yuri WHIPS OUT his piece. Takes aim.

COWBOY COP
Put down your weapon!

With lightening speed,
he pulls out his service revolver.

FIRES OFF a fusillade of shots --
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!

Yuri’s tires EXPLODE.
The bike FLIES out from under him.

He’s SLAMMED against a wall, OOF.
Lies dazed on the sidewalk.

The cop trots up. Stops.
Jumps off the horse. Takes aim.

COWBOY COP
Hands on your head, asshole.
(into his shoulder mike)
Officer requesting backup,
corner of Seventeenth and L.
(to Yuri)
Come on, up on your feet.

Yuri struggles.
Slowly, achingly stands.

COWBOY COP
(pulls out cuffs)
Hands behind you. Spread em.
And please, I’d really love it
if you gave me a reason
to blow your fucking
greaseball head to pieces.

YURI
Okay, okay. Relax, relax.
(turns around, low)
Greaseball is Mexican.
I am Croatian, asshole.

COP
(CLICKS cuff on left wrist)
WHAT did you say?

And, in a BLUR OF SPEED, Yuri WHIPS
the cuffs in the air like nunchucks.

CRACKS the cop in the head.
BANG. He goes down.

Yuri shakes himself off.
Goes to the cop. Gets his keys.

YURI
(unlocks cuffs)
To protect and kiss pavement. Ha.
(looks at horse)
Hello, Horsie.
(climbs on)
Okay. Good horsie. Let’s go.

The horse turns around.
Looks at him.

YURI
What the fuck you looking at?

He KICKS the horse with this heels.
And they TAKE OFF.

Call Of Booty

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of FULL BODY, Israeli homicide dick Ben Fleck and Palestinian federal agent Ali Nassour discover a mutual love of chess. Meanwhile, Croatian assassins Mavra Vlaovic and Silke Derevko race through the streets on their mission ... to kill Mavra's daughter Etya at the International spa ... but the plot thickens when Etya sends the girls home and prepares to defend herself ...


INT. POLICE PRECINCT - NIGHT
Fleck and Nassour watch
Rod Katz shuffle down the hall.

FLECK
We ready with the tail?

NASSOUR
Like Kasparov checkmate
in three moves.

FLECK
You play chess?

NASSOUR
I was Beirut champion
five years in row.

FLECK
I was Tel Aviv champ
six years in a row.

NASSOUR
Perhaps when we’re
done with this --
we play game.

They look at each other.

INT. CORRIDOR - REAR ENTRANCE - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer and Lindsey walk
the rear exit.

Just as Ayanna and Catalina
go out the door.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Lindsey.

LINDSEY
Gus, hey --

Gus appears. Smiling.

GUS
How was your interrogation?
Did you spill the beans?

SUMMER
(to Lindsey)
This is the guy you -- ?

LINDSEY
(nods, goofy grin)
Trained seal --
ETYA (O.C.)
Girls! There you are! Come here, NOW!
ETYA
in the doorway. Hands on hips. Impatient.
LINDSEY
turns. Looks at Gus.

LINDSEY
Sorry, beefcake.
Duty calls.

GUS
Cock-blocked.
Story of my life.

EXT. K STREET - NIGHT
Mavra’s chopper FLIES
down the avenue.

A HOMELESS MAN staggers,
weaves into traffic.

The evil beauty FLINGS out arm.
SMACKS him in the head.

BANG.
He goes down.

MAVRA
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Tires SCREECH.
She turns a corner --

Silke’s bike, Elvissa
in the sidecar,
ROARS after them.

EXT./INT. YURI’S LAMBORGINI - MOVING
Yuri JAMS the gearshift.
PUMPS the gas.

He TURNS.
Fishtails on wet pavement.

EXT. POLICE PRECINCT - PARKING LOT
Etya holds open a cab door.
Gestures to the girls.

ETYA
Go somewhere, take
rest of night off.
Just don’t go back to salon.

SUMMER
What’s wrong?

LINDSEY
You look scared,
what’s going on?

ETYA
(gets in, SLAMS door)
I can’t tell
you, is emergency.
So make like rabbit feet
and be energized.
I’ll see you tomorrow.

And the cab TAKES OFF
in a SCREECH of rubber.

CATALINA
(takes her hand)
I’m hungry.
Wanna get a bite?

AYANNA
(bites Catalina’s arm)
Only if you bite back.

LINDSEY
C’mon, let’s grab a cab.
Before they eat each other.

SUMMER
Yeah -- and I just had an idea.
(smiles)
Lina.

LINDSEY
(smiles)
Where do you want
to go -- Wednesday?

PUSH IN ON Summer’s face.
Eyes twinkling.

SUMMER
Surprise.