Where The Streets Have No Fame

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, private eye Carrie Love has time to kill before interviewing her first batch of murder suspects, so she heads over to her favorite dive bar for a shot and beer ... but the shit hits the fan when she runs into her client's dead husband's producer partner, who is NOT glad to see her ...


EXT. WILSHIRE BOULEVARD - BANK - DAY
Carrie wheels her monster Olds
down Wilshire going East.

Henry Mancini’s THE BIG BLOWOUT
rocks the sub-woofers.

CARRIE (V.O.)
I had time to kill.
But I was on that stretch
of Wilshire just west of Bundy,
a real no-man’s land.
The cheap seats,
where the streets have no fame.
I had an itch that needed scratching,
but I was lost in a
canyon of fast food joints,
shitty storefronts and
low-end office towers.
But no bars.
(beat)
WAIT a minute.

She suddenly WHEELS
the car in a U-turn.
Heads back west.

EXT. BAR - DAY
Carrie pulls up to a
small, old-school dive.

Sign reads:

THE OFFICE. OPEN 6 AM.
GET YOUR DAY STARTED RIGHT.

INT. THE OFFICE - DAY
Tequila-soaked Tex-Mex on the juke.
The Iguana’s OYE ISABEL.

Very dark. A bit dank. And dead.
Two OLD REGULARS sit at end
of the long bar glued to
some Mexican soap opera on the TV.

Carrie takes a stool
at the other end, near the door.
Beside a big, red leather booth.

A large PONYTAILED BIKER-LOOKING BARTENDER
ambles over.

CARRIE
Draft and a double shot of Kessler’s.

PONYTAILED BIKER BARTENDER
Comin’ right up.
(goes to get it)
I remember you.
You’re the one
talks like Bogart.
You sang that song
about fucking on karaoke night.

He slides over a cold one
and a large shot glass.

She DOWNS it.
Take a long pull from the bottle.

CARRIE
‘I Might Like You Better
If We Slept Together.’
(beat)
Axel, right?

AXEL
Uh-huh.
And I’ve got a girlfriend.

CARRIE
Those are the lyrics from the song.
'Never Say Never.’
Romeo Void. 1982.

AXEL
I knew that.

The front door OPENS.
In walks Roland Yavo, and --

A SKINNY CREOLE MAN (40’s),
stick-thin, dapper in that
decayed New Orleans underworld kinda way.
Pencil moustache frames a
smug whisper of a smile.
Meet HUB FLOWER.

They take seats in the booth
right behind Carrie.

Yavo squints in the darkness.
Checks out the joint.
Axel shuffles over to the table.

AXEL
What’ll it be, gents?

Hub raises his hand.
A pinky ring glistens.

HUB
Mint Julep, my good man.

AXEL
Sorry.
How about a Long Island Ice Tea?

Hub nods. Smiles.

YAVO
You got single-malt scotch?

AXEL
We got Johnny Walker. Red.

YAVO
(grumbles)
That’ll do.

Axel leaves.
Yavo glowers.
Carrie strains to listen.

YAVO
(harsh whisper)
It’s one thing to add a million,
two maybe -- but you’ve got
the budget at eighteen.
On a four-million dollar picture.

HUB
My boys are running for reelection.
And I have to make sure
the tax incentive --

Axel returns with their drinks.
Hub pulls out a big bankroll.

HUB
I’ve got it.
(hands Axel a twenty)
Keep the change.

YAVO
Listen, Flower -- the FBI
has been up my ass so far
we’ve been picking out CHINA PATTERNS.
And since that stupid fuck Flender
got himself killed,
the place has been crawling with cops --

HUB
Relax, Roland.
It’s just a grand jury.
No charges have been pressed.
We just need you to testify --

YAVO
(drains his drink)
TESTIFY? Like HELL.
You’re destroying my REPUTATION.
I’ve produced over A HUNDRED movies.
I’m a GOD in this town!

HUB
I know, Roland.
You and Harvey, over a hundred credits --
(strange, big smile)
Such a shame about Harvey --

ROLAND
Don’t you DARE fucking THREATEN me!

He FLINGS the glass across the room -- CRASH.

AXEL (O.C.)
Hey! What THE FUCK
do you think YOU’RE DOING?!

Axel appears.
Livid. Beet-red.

YAVO
Keep your shirt on.
I’ll pay for it.
We’re discussing something private.
Get the fuck out of my face.

AXEL
WHAT did you say?

YAVO
I said, GET -- THE FUCK --
OUT -- of MY FACE!

AXEL
No, YOU get out -- NOW.

YAVO
You gonna try and make me?

He stands.
All five-foot-four inches.

AXEL
Oh.
So you’re a tough guy.

Yavo pulls out a long-barrelled
COLT-45 REVOLVER.

YAVO
Do you know who I AM?
Fucking trailer park piece of SHIT?

The barrel of a large, gleaming GLOCK
rests against Yavo’s temple.
The safety CLICKS.

CARRIE
comes into frame.
Holding the weapon with both hands.

CARRIE
Dust it, Yavo.
Drop the heater.

YAVO
(drops his gun)
Fucking cunt.
What are YOU doing here?

CARRIE
(picks it up,
empties the bullets,
hands it back)
One of life’s little mysteries, short-stuff.
Call it karma. Kismet. Candid Camera.
I really don’t give a fuck.
(to Axel)
He’s all yours, sport.

Axel GRABS Yavo by the arms.
Drags him toward the door --

YAVO
Get your fucking hands OFF ME.

And THROWS him into the street.
Flower does a take.

Bows slightly, and high-tails it
out of there.

AXEL
Nice piece.
You a cop or something?

CARRIE
Something like that.