Thursday, June 9, 2011

A Guy Ritchie Wet Dream



Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of DAZED, BEAUTIFUL & BRUISED, we get a rare glimpse of exactly WHY a serial killer does what they do ... when teenage murderer Sparkle Plenty gets out the vibrator ... and gets her rocks off. Meanwhile, disgraced homicide detective Carrie Love takes our her frustrations ... at the firing range.


INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
The slinky, femme, crime theme trip-hop groove
of DollsHead’s TOUCH THE MOON over --

IN MONTAGE:
Sparkle glides in from the bathroom.
In a sexy red nightie.
Pink fuzzy slippers.

And a lot of blood.

She goes to the bed.
Places the gut-smeared
fishing hook-knife on the nightstand.
It gleams in a flash of light.

CLOSE ON --
The table. Crimson hands open a drawer.
Take out a foot-long 'back massager' VIBRATOR.

That’s right, folks --
say hello to the 'Space Needle.'

SPARKLE
lies down on the bed.
Gets ready for lift off.

CLOSE ON --
Her dainty, pretty feet.
With bloody, blue frosted nails.
They arch, stretch like a cat.

A soft sigh. A little kittie-yawn.

The CAMERA SLOWLY PANS UP
tanned, slender legs, as --

the BUZZING starts.
Causing thighs to slightly twitch, part.

SPARKLE’S
face. Eyes closed. Dreamy.
A hint of a smile.

A finger itches her nose,
leaving a smear of blood.

IN MONTAGE:
Sparkle GRABS Bruce Ball by the cuffs --
SLAMS him into a wall with a SHRIEK.

BRUCE
twists and turns in agony
in the scalding shower.

THE VIBRATOR
roto-rooters in gentle circles
on her private place.

SPARKLE
writhes in wave after wave of pleasure.

THE HIPSTER VIDEO CLERK
lies on the floor of the crap hotel room.
Muffled SCREAMS as Sparkle STABS the fuzzy body.

SPARKLE
moans, arches her back.

DINA
gagged, tied and bound in an
abandoned restaurant kitchen.

Terrified eyes pleading and screaming --
As her hand is guided into a meat grinder.

THE VIBRATOR
is kicked up a notch. BZZZZZZZZZ.

SPARKLE
moans louder. Eyes clenched shut.

THE FILM INDUSTRY HACK’S
mouth opens. The gun barrel slides in.
BANG. Blood SPLATTERS the wall behind him.

SPARKLE
climaxes, spasms --


SHRIEKS, an animal baying at the moon.
SPARKLE
Mommm-yyyyyyyyyy!

INT. BEVERLY HILLS GUN CLUB - FIRING RANGE - NIGHT
Some swanky, techno-Euro crime theme.

Rows of stalls with targets,
too brightly lit. Empty.

Except for Carrie.
Messy drunk in a slip of
a cocktail dress, heels, shades --

And a gleaming 357 Magnum
out of a Guy Ritchie wet dream.

She lowers her sunglasses.
Scratches an itch in her eye.
We see she’s been crying.

CARRIE (V.O.)
It’s easier to see after
you’ve had a few cocktails.

She slides them back up.
Takes aim. And --

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

THE TARGET
A ‘Smiley face’ smack dab
on the figure’s head.

ANGRY HISPANIC OWNER (O.S.)
Hey, you! Breakfast at Tiffany’s!
You better put dat thing down
before I call da cops!

CARRIE
stops, turns --

CARRIE
I am a fucking cop!

And swings her weapon toward him.
He raises a sawed-off shotgun. Click-click.

ANGRY HISPANIC OWNER
That’ll be the last move
you ever make, lady.

Carrie lowers her weapon.
Whips off her shades.

ANGRY HISPANIC OWNER (CONT’D)
Oh, hi Carrie -- I didn’t recognize you.
You clean up good.

CARRIE
Thanks, Enrique.
I’ll be done a few minutes. ‘Kay?

ENRIQUE
(big smile)
You got it, Legs.

He bows, leaves.
She takes out more bullets, reloads.

CARRIE (V.O.)
My life has become a trashy cult film.
I have more death, betrayal,
seedy glamour and sexual situations
in my life than any ten women in this town.
(beat)
And this is Los Angeles.
(beat)
The only place on earth
where you fall in love --
and your partner thinks
she’s taking a meeting.
But you still fall,
and you fall so hard,
it makes you lose all sense of
judgment, morals, self-esteem --
and any desire to play the game
of life by the rules.

She slowly SPINS AROUND --
aims up, up, and --

ANGLE ON --
A row of ceiling lights.

Bullets hit them, one by one.
POP, POP, POP, POP, POP, POP.

3 comments:

  1. Wow! A shrink could really have a field day with Sparkle... when you think back on her childhood and the abuse she endured...it makes sense, in a twisted way, that Sparkle gets sexual gratification from killing... but, not just killing... torturing first and then killing in increasingly horrific ways. Killing her parents was for revenge, but did not satisfy her lust, so now these other victims stand as proxy and Sparkle keeps killing until she is completely gratified... sexually? I mean, she doesn't really believe that she is just making a movie, right? I wonder if she is going to "get off" when Carrie finally catches up with her?

    Speaking of Ms Love... here she is! Come on girl, time to sober up and get your shit together! You got a psycho to bring down!


    Very powerful! Again, you evoke such strong images with such few words...

    I really like the montage you created with all of Sparkle's victims... how Sparkle relives each in her mind, bringing herself closer and closer... until... climax!

    This is definitely not going to be PG-13, is it? Lol!!

    Awesome!!

    xoxoxo <3 <3 <3

    Ronnie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Definite R-rated, doll. Or maybe even 'unrated' on DVD ...

    Well, that's the thing about serial killers. Killing is the only way they can come.

    So I thought I'd actually show that in a film, which if I'm not mistaken, hasn't been done yet!

    LOVE YA!

    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now, that's the way to go... unrated DVD!! Woo Hoo!!

    It will so cool to show this in a film. I don't think... not that I have seen all that many films .. I don't think I have seen this aspect in a film... oh, maybe a suggestion of some sort of release, but is always downplayed, very subtle... most people are probably not even... they don't equate killing with sexual gratification... release.

    Yes, you just could be a first here! :)

    xoxoxo <3 <3

    ReplyDelete