Monday, January 17, 2011

What Happens In DC, Stays In DC



Hey there, crime kids. Happy MLK day. I have a dream. Well, more like a nightmare ... because it's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 30 of NOWHERE GIRLS, while Homeland Security agents Cherry Nation and April Street make their escape in a stolen FBI helicopter, assassin Irina Kolishinakov races to the airport to try and take them out as they try land ...


INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS - CLINT RUFF’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Clint dials a number. Takes a big sip of scotch. Listens.

CLINT
I’ve delayed them a little bit. Happy?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. HONEY’S UNDERGROUND LAIR - OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Honey sits at her desk. Feet up. Taps her Bluetooth.
Swirls her snifter of brandy.

HONEY
As a fucking clam.

CLINT
You realize how DANGEROUS this is?

HONEY
Darling, it comes with the territory.
(takes a sip)
But you know that.

CLINT
Don’t remind me.

HONEY
And don’t forget --
what happens in DC, stays in DC --

INT. HELICOPTER - MOVING - NIGHT
April drives the chopper.
Cherry looks out the window.

APRIL
We’ve gotta find a place to land, pronto.

CHERRY
But we’ll get to Hollywood faster
if we fly there --

APRIL
Too dangerous. Every government agent
in the STATE is after us,
and this is an FBI chopper.
Sore thumb much?

CHERRY
(sees something, points)
Hey, look, up ahead -- Santa Monica airport.

APRIL
Fucking PERFECT.
(flips switches)
We’ll land there --

CHERRY
You know, after this is over,
I think I’m gonna take a break.
Spend some time with the kids --
(gulps)
That is, if we can --

APRIL
Trust me, sis.
We’re going to GET THEM BACK, okay?
(off her silence)
Okay?

CHERRY
Okay --

APRIL
Now hold on.
I’m a little out of practice
landing one of these --

CHERRY
(stares at her, eyes bugging)
'A little out of practice?'

EXT. FBI SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
Max drives. Sunday talks on her cell.

SUNDAY
You have their position? GOOD JOB.
We’re on our way, roger and OUT.

She CLICKS the phone shut.

SUNDAY (CONT’D)
They’re landing at Santa Monica airport.

MAX
That’s close.
We’ll cut off the perimeter, box ‘em in.
(picks up radio, CLICKS it on)
Attention, all units.
Suspects are landing at Santa Monica airport.
Get your asses over there
and seal off the area IMMEDIATELY.

ANGRY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
(electronic)
Copy that, Cargo. We’re ON OUR WAY --

EXCITED MALE VOICE (O.C.)
We’re SO there, dude.
Let’s catch us some PUSSY.
Snappin’ GYRO. Copy DAT, my MAN. OVER --

Sunday sighs. Looks out the window.

MAX
On behalf of all men everywhere,
I’d like to apologize for that
incredibly insensitive display
of macho bravado.

SUNDAY
What are you talking about?
I say let’s get those fucking CUNTS.

MAX
(smiles)
Yes, SIR.

INT. IRINA’S CAR - MOVING - NIGHT
She drives up the coast like a madwoman,
zipping around traffic. Looks at her GPS.

Punches buttons on the dash.
Looks at the coordinates.
Nods, grim.

IRINA
I’ve got you in web,
said spider to fly --
(beat)
At AIRPORT.

EXT. SANTA MONICA AIRPORT - NIGHT
Deserted at this hour. And dark.
A few AIRPLANES dot the landscape.
A Department of Water and Power van sits idling.

The chopper appears in the sky.

INT. CHOPPER - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
April works the controls.
Squints in the darkness.

APRIL
Must be a power-outage or something.
Hold on.

CHERRY
Be careful.

THE CHOPPER
Descends onto the tarmac.
But it’s coming down TOO FAST.

APRIL
Pulls back on the stick.

APRIL
Whoah, NELLY.

THE CHOPPER
Slows it’s descent, rises a bit,
then PLUMMETS down.

APRIL
YANKS the stick.
The girls get JERKED in their seats.

APRIL (CONT’D)
SHIT.

CHERRY
What the fuck are you DOING?

THE CHOPPER
Stops. Hovers. Then lands slowly.
HITS the tarmac. BANG.

INT. CHOPPER - CONTINUOUS
The girls look at each other. EXHALE.

APRIL
Sorry about that.
Been a couple of years. Bit rusty.

CHERRY
Almost pissed my pants.
(looks out the window)
Check out the van.

APRIL
DWP. Perfect.
(smiles)
Incognito ahoy --

EXT. SANTA MONICA AIRPORT - RUNWAY - CONTINUOUS
The girls RACE OVER to the van.

See a DWP ELECTRICIAN (40’s),
a chubby regular guy,
sitting in the driver’s seat.

He pours coffee from a thermos into a cup.
Looks up at them, startled.

DWP GUY
Evenin.’ Can I help you ladies?

They WHIP out their pistols.

APRIL
Homeland Security.

CHERRY
We’re commandeering your vehicle.

He DROPS the cup on his lap.
Spilling coffee on his pants.

DWP GUY
OW, shit.
(looks at them)
Hey. Wait a minute.
I saw you two on the news.
You’re those TERRORISTS
who crashed THE WHITE HOUSE.

Cherry and April CLICK their safeties.

APRIL
We were FRAMED, asshole --

CHERRY
Step OUT OF THE VEHICLE, NOW.

DWP GUY
Okay, okay.
Don’t shoot, don’t shoot.

APRIL
Wait a minute.
Wouldn’t it better if HE drove?

CHERRY
Yeah. Great idea.

APRIL
(to DWP Guy)
Open the back door and let us in.

DWP GUY
Okay, okay. Just don’t shoot.
(mumbles, to himself)
Maybe I can get some overtime for this --

2 comments:

  1. OMG!!! Honey... and Clint? What are those two up too? I am thinking that this is definitely not good for the girls... I mean, the law want to bring them in but if its "bent", April and Cherry's chances of surviving the "arrest" are not too good, are they?

    Nice little twist here... love it!

    OMG! April is one gutsy chick!! LOL!!

    I have thought about taking lessons... plane, not chopper. I always thought landing would be the harder of the two... you know, a take-off... you just "gun it", pull the nose up and you're in the air. Landing... you gotta "ease" back down.

    So, how are they gonna get from Santa Monica to Hollywood? The "2" looks like a pretty straight shot... yeah, I am looking at Google maps... I know LA about as well as I know the moon... LOL!!

    One could really get lost down there... that is nothing like Portland! This is going to be a very exciting car chase!!

    Okay... let's get busy!! Hahaha!!

    XOXOXO <3 <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. You'd actually take the 10 Freeway to get to Hollywood, but I won't disparage Google Maps.

    HOLD ONTO YOUR TITS. IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE ... WHOO-HOO ... <3

    ReplyDelete