Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. Do you know where your children are? Well, they're right here, taking a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 36 of NOWHERE GIRLS, deep in her underground lair, evil criminal mastermind Honey Almond reveals a stunning revelation to her captives, super-spy sisters Cherry Nation and April Street, and then makes them 'an offer they can't refuse' ...
EXT. MANN’S CHINESE THEATER - NIGHT
A pair of FBI TECHS drill holes
into the sidewalk with lasers.
Max and Sunday watch,
along side Grim-Looking Agent.
So how does it work?
They’re drilling holes
at a forty-five degree angle.
When they get to the lower foundation,
they’ll then angle in.
He holds up a long, thin tube.
GRIM-LOOKING AGENT (CONT’D)
This has a laser-camera at the end.
Can see through ANYTHING.
Gives a whole new meaning
to the term ‘deep stealth’, huh?
One of the techs turns and looks at them.
I’m in the sub-basement.
Bring me the snake.
Grim-Looking brings it over.
Hands to Gruff Tech.
Here you go.
Gruff starts stuffing the tube into the hole.
Max looks at Sunday. Raises an eyebrow.
Give you any ideas?
In your hat, buster.
Sorry. Didn’t mean to make an asp of myself.
(shakes her head)
So many men. So few bullets in a gun --
INT. HONEY’S INTERROGATION ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Cherry and April stand in the cube. Glare at Honey.
You’ll never get away with this,
the place is SWARMING WITH FBI.
What have you done with my FUCKING KIDS?
Ladies, ladies, ladies --
is that any way to talk to your MOTHER?
Starts pacing around them in a slow circle.
Of course I’m still a bit peeved
that you killed your FATHER --
But I understand. He was an evil man.
(shakes her head)
Talk about a messy DIVORCE --
Wait a minute.
Let me get this straight --
My head is spinning.
You mean to say, you and SLEDGE --
Are your parents, yes.
We were young and poor,
and the bastard didn’t think
we could take care of you.
It was HIS idea
to put you up for adoption.
I’ve been sick about it ever since.
And you put us through all of this
for the same reason HE did --
She wants us to WORK FOR HER?
Well, of course. You two are the BEST.
I threw my top assassins after you,
and you came through with flying colors.
Of course, the collateral damage
was a bit excessive, but worth it.
Assets are replaceable.
But you only have one family.
But why the thing with the White House?
Well, let’s just say I have a
bit of an over-active imagination.
(stops, looks at them)
Imagine the possibilities.
With you two on board,
the world is our oyster.
Just think of it --
mother and daughters,
hell-bent on world-domination.
On what planet do you think
we’d work for YOU?
A planet where a nuclear device
is sitting in the Senate chamber
during a joint session of Congress?
Just kidding. There goes that
over-active imagination again --
But seriously? What choice do you have?
Every law enforcement agency
in the world wants you --
AND I have your CHILDREN.
Don’t you see? You have no choice.
Cherry and April’s heads SPIN.
They look at each other.
I want proof they’re ALIVE.
Honey shakes her head.
Wipes a tear from her eye.
You don’t trust me.
Your own MOTHER.
Then I’ll give you some time
to THINK ABOUT IT.
She PRESSES a button
on the floor with her boot.
A trap door below them OPENS --
and Cherry and April FALL into the hole.
INT. MANN’S CHINESE THEATER - SUB-BASEMENT - NIGHT
A dimly lit bunker. Shelves of supplies on one wall.
Water DRIPS from the ceiling onto the cement floor.
We hear the faint sound of
something scurrying about in the shadows.
Cherry and April HIT the floor
with a SLAP, THUD. They groan. Sit up.
Massage their bruised muscles. Look around.
What is this place?
(peers in the dim light)
Looks like some kind of --
storage room or something.
Looks more like -- a bunker.
Maybe it’s a bomb shelter.
Cherry feels something on her leg.
SHAKES it. Looks.
Ohmigod, a RAT.
She pulls out her lighter,
FLICKS it on, to reveal --
The room is FILLED WITH RATS.
They SQUEAL at the light.
Then JUMP on Cherry and April.
The girls try to BAT them away
as they get BITTEN all over their bodies.
They SCREAM. Try to WHACK them away.
SHIT, NOOOOOO GET OFF.
GET OFF ME. GET OFF ME.
THE SHELVES, OVER THERE.
They RUN to a wall filled with shelves,
start climbing them.
The rats cling to their legs,
nipping and tugging. SQUEALING.
April gets half-way up, BANGS her leg,
knocking them off.
Cherry does the same.
They climb to the top.
Look down, see --
A HOARD OF RATS,
undulating like a wave,
moving toward them.
What are we GONNA DO?
I’m thinking, I’m THINKING -- .