Friday, April 3, 2009

My New Gun


Greetings. Happy Friday to you, too.

I tried to watch CHOKE last night -- had heard good things about it, and damn, was I disappointed. What a precious piece of 'aren't I clever' indie shit. Too contrived for words. Love Angelica Huston, and Sam Rockwell, but it just wasn't funny. The whole conceit was as if the screenwriter was trying be as outrageous as possible. Now, I love outrageous, as all of you know. But there's gotta be a story -- AND characters you care about. Not here. Two big thumbs -- up my ass.

Thank god for my DVD collection. After ten minutes of CHOKING on that dreck, I slapped in GOODFELLAS, and had a ball. Stayed up too late, but what the heck. It's not like I have a real job to go to in the morning ...

Today's scene from GUN-WILD is a doozy.

As a test before the big bank robbery, Cam has to knock off a 7-11, all by her lonesome.

Hang on. It's a bumpy ride ...

[ Oh. And don't forget to check out the links I've posted below. Some of you know who you are ... ]

***

INT. 7-11 - EARLY MORNING
Cam BANGS into the store.
STOMPS over to the counter.
JAMS her gun in the CASHIER’S face.
THROWS a bag at him, SLAP.

CAM
Gimme what’s in the register, NOW, MOTHERFUCKER!

The cashier, a young, skinny black kid (20)
SHOOTS his hands in the air.
Vibrates in place. Eyes wide as saucers.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
Don’t SHOOT, don’t SHOOT.

CAM
The MONEY, NOW!

Confused, scared, the kid BANGS open the cash register.
Starts stuffing bills into the bag.

CAM (CONT’D)
MOVE IT, MOVE IT! FASTER!

IN THE PARKING LOT
In the VW bug, a scuzzy JUNKIE COUPLE counts their change.

SCUZZY JUNKIE
Seventy-eight, seventy nine -- eighty.

JUNKIE GIRL
A tall boy of Bud.

JUNKIE KID
(nods)
Be right back.

IN THE STORE
The kid empties the drawer. Hands Cam the bag.
His eyes travel to the security camera.

CAM
What the fuck are YOU looking it?

She WHIRLS around. Sees the CAMERA. Shoots it, BANG.
It EXPLODES in a million pieces. The clerk SCREAMS.

OUTSIDE IN THE CAR

HONDO
(smiles)
Someone just popped her cherry.

IN THE STORE
Cam WHIRLS back around. SHOVES her gun in the clerk’s face.

CAM
Now OPEN THE SAFE.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
I don’t -- have the key.

CAM
BULL-SHIT!

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
Lady, I swear -- I don’t know the combination.
And besides, the -- the armored car comes every n-night
at m-midnight and empties it. It’s EMPTY.

CAM
Oh YEAH?

Cam raises the gun.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
I SWEAR.

She aims at the beer cooler and FIRES -- BANG, BANG, BANG!
The glass case EXPLODES. Broken glass goes FLYING.

CAM
Now open the safe, motherfucker,
before I BLOW your fucking HEAD OFF.

Scuzzy Junkie walks in the store.

SCUZZY JUNKIE
Shit.

CAM
(turns, sees him)
What the fuck do YOU want?

SCUZZY JUNKIE
(starts to leave)
Never mind --

Cam stares. In control.
For the first time in her life.

CAM
No, it’s okay. What do you need?

SCUZZY JUNKIE
I was -- gonna get a beer.

CAM
Go ahead. Help yourself. On the house.

The kid races over to the beer cooler.
Grabs a six pack.

SCUZZY JUNKIE
Thanks, lady.

CAM
(nods)
Now get THE FUCK outta here.

IN THE PARKING LOT
Rod peers at the door, tries to see what’s going on.

ROD
What the fuck is going on in there?

HONDO
I dunno. Moment of truth?

Scuzzy comes out of the store with his beer,
races to the Bug. Hops in, GUNS the engine.
PEELS out of the lot.

ROD
I don’t like this.

NET
We should get some beer.

IN THE STORE
Cam points the gun at the kid’s forehead.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
(eyes full of tears)
I swear, lady -- I c-can’t open the safe.
Please don’t kill me. Please.

CAM
I’m gonna count to THREE.
And then I’m gonna blow your FUCKING HEAD OFF.
(beat)
ONE --

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
Lady, PLEASE.

CAM
TWO --

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
I DON’T KNOW!

His bowels EXPLODE in a massive ERUPTION -- PHHHTWHAAAT.

CAM
(wrinkles her nose)
SHIT.

She WHIRLS AROUND, and starts SHOOTING up the place.
The kid DIVES for the floor,
writhing and crying hysterically.

BANG. A milk carton EXPLODES.
BANG. A carton of eggs SPRAYS in a yellow mist.
BANG. The coffee machine EXPLODES in a geyser of brown.
BANG. Potato chips go FLYING.

Cam stops shooting. Shaking. Vibrating.
She GRABS the bag of money.
Looks around, maniacal, on fire.
Sees a display of TWIZZLERS.
Grabs a handful. STORMS out the door.

IN THE PARKING LOT
Cam RUNS to the car.
Grinning wildly like an animal.

Something’s changed. Her face is alive. Full of fire.
She opens the door. TOSSES the bag of money to Rod.
FLINGS the Twizzlers at Hondo.

CAM (CONT'D)
Brought you a little snack.

Jumps in. SLAMS the door.

CAM (CONT’D)
(looks at Rod, wild grin)
Let’s BLOW this joint, hot stuff.

Rod GUNS the engine. HITS the gas. The car ROARS off.

INT. OLDS CONVERTIBLE - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Hondo BANGS on the back of her seat.

HONDO
She did it! She DID IT! You did it, baby-doll.

NET
Gidget grows up.

ROD
(shit-eating grin)
How do you feel?

Cam beams with million-dollar wattage.
Eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

CAM
Happiness is a WARM GUN.

***

7 comments:

  1. I thought the scene with the junkie couple counting their change out in the VW felt tacked on and unnecessary. I did like the interaction with the customers as she's robbing the store. Solid scene.

    That sucks about Choke, it's one of my favorite Palahniuk novels and the previews made it look like a pretty faithful adaptation

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  2. Well, the junkies in the car are meant to be a possible problem, and to establish why the kid is going in there. Think it's more interesting if the kid can only afford one beer, and then Cam let's him help himself. C'est a vie. I like it, but thanks for your opinion.

    I never read the novel, but was prepared to really get into the film. It was just too -- overly weird, to the point of being distracting. But then, sometimes it's the mood you're in on a given day.

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  3. Alrighty, it'll be interesting to see how the script develops and how the junkie kids fit into it.

    And you should read some Palahniuk, I think--at least from what I've read here so far--you might appreciate his style.

    Great blog by the way

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  4. I would respectfully disagree with Keith... I don't feel that the little scene with the junkie couple in the car was unnecessary... it helps set up the dialogue in the store with Cam... otherwise... kid comes in... Cam points gun and says "OUT"... kid scrams.... been done... I liked the exchange between the two of them... I think it adds something to Cam's character... a little humanity? Kind of a counterpoint(?) to what happens a bit later when Cam starts shooting the shit out of everything. Also, demonstrates Cam can keep her cool and "go with the flow"...

    Loved the part with the clerk... OMG!!!

    Okay... now, did Cam really have to blow up the potato chips? That wasn't nice. HAHAHA!!!

    I think Cam is ready to "move up". :-)

    Okay... it's this girl's bedtime... xoxo

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  5. No worries, Ronnie. There's always some knucklehead giving their opinion. They're like assholes. Everybody's got one ... !

    Ah. A girl's first bank job.

    Special memories ...

    xoxo

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  6. :-)

    Reminiscing a bit, are we sweetie? lol!! xoxo

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  7. hey... forgot to ask... the pic up at the top... is that from The Professional? I haven't seen it in ages! Love Jean Reno! ;-)

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