Friday, April 17, 2009

The Rolling Stoned


Happy Friday. Thank Guns It's Friday. What the fuck. Let's party. Is that a pistol in your pocket?
Or are you just ... ?

Screened PANIC ROOM for the first time last night. HOLY SHIT was that movie exciting. Great supporting cast, too. Forest Whitaker, Jared Leto -- and what the fuck, Dwight Yoakam? His sleazy sociopath almost steals the movie. Almost. David Fincher can elevate the simplest formula like this to new heights. Definite two glocks up. Wanna see it again.

Onto today's installment from GUN-WILD.

When we last left our heisters, they were partying on wheels in a deluxe RV. Well, they've landed at Venice Beach, and are getting ready to rock the night away.

I mean, if you had just boosted over 200 grand in cash, wouldn't you wanna party?

***

EXT. VENICE BEACH - PARKING LOT - AT THAT MOMENT
The Winnebago is parked in a small lot near the boardwalk.
A handful of decrepit, hand-painted HIPPIE RV’S sit, gathering dust.
JESUS WAS HOMELESS proclaims a former school bus.

INT. WINNEBAGO - CONTINUOUS
A sleazy, go-go groove courtesy of
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
bumps and grinds on the stereo.
The blinds are drawn.

Hondo chops up a big mound of white powder
on the coffee table with a credit card.
The bag of money lies at his feet.

HONDO
Ready to go to Magic Mountain?

Net does the twist, slides over to the table,
resplendent in bra and panties,
sloshing her tumbler of whiskey.

NET
Definite E-ticket, baby.

Hondo hands her a rolled-up C-note.
She bends down, SNARFS up a big fat line.
He SMACKS her on the ass.

NET (CONT'D)
(giggles)
OW.
(rubs her nose)
It BURNS.

HONDO
Pharmaceutical-grade crystal methedrine, doll.
Gonna twist your tits GOOD.

NET
That’s fucking SPEED?

HONDO
Just until we score some more booger sugar.
Emergency K-rations.

NET
Fucking meth --
(has brilliant idea)
Let’s do a SPEEDBALL.

ROD AND CAM
Walk into frame with their drinks.
Both completely lit.
Cam’s gun sticks out of her waistband.

ROD
Did I hear the word speedball?

HONDO
I didn’t know you partook in the smack-iary arts.

ROD
Once in a blue moon.
Usually I just chip --
but fuck it, it’s a special occasion.

CAM
I wanna do one, too.

Hondo pulls a black felt bag out of his jacket.
Unrolls it. Slides out a large HYPODERMIC NEEDLE.
Holds it up. Smiles.

HONDO
Friends don’t let friends share needles.

Cam sits down next to him.
Puts her hand on his knee.

NET
Who said we’re FRIENDS?

They look at each other.
SCREAM with laughter.

CAM
That’s a -- big needle.

HONDO
All the better to eat you with.
(looks at Rod)
You should see my cock.

ROD
I’ll pass.

NET
You don’t know what you’re missing.

CAM
(to Hondon and Net)
Stop hitting on my man, fuckos --
and let’s get FUCKED UP.

HONDO
Your wish is my demand.

He pours some heroin onto a spoon.
Then a little meth.
Squirts a little water on it.
Lights it with his Bic.

THE MIXTURE
In the spoon BUBBLES.

THE NEEDLE
Slides into it.

THE PLUNGER
Pulls. The shaft fills swirling white magic.

HONDO
Holds up the syringe like a surgeon.
Pulls the rubber tubing around his forearm
with his other hand. Show and tell.

HONDO (CONT’D)
(dramatic)
Ladies and gentlemen, The Rolling Stoned.

And he PUSHES the needle into his arm.

***

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