Soft Soap

Happy Hump Day, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 2 of DAZED, BEAUTIFUL & BRUISED, we meet Sparkle Plenty, under-aged beauty pageant queen, who escapes from her white trash incestual mother, and blows up her trailer ...


INT. WHITE TRASH TRAILER - NIGHT
ROSCOE PLENTY, (40)
a strange-looking nerd,
watches a shitty little
black and white TV,
swills a bottle of cheap beer.

ROSCOE
(to someone off-screen)
C’mon honey, you’re
missing the big number.

ON TV
in glorious Technicolor,
SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS.

A chorus line of grinning,
super-masculine Hollywood cowboys.

SEVEN BROTHERS (ON TV)
Bless your beoootiful hide --

INT. FILTHY KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
DOT PLENTY (33), Roscoe’s repulsive wife
eats dog food out of the can.

Sips her jelly-jar zinfandel.
Belly-T reveals folds
of pale cottage-cheese.
‘Fat’ would be a compliment.

DOT
(sucking her fingers)
Fucking musicals.
Fucking faggot -- shit.
(to him, loud)
I’m gonna go check on Sparkle,
make sure she’s all clean.

IN THE LIVING ROOM
the drunk is riveted to
the movie, drinks his longneck.

INT. TRAILER BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
A steaming shower runs.

A FEMALE FORM behind the glass --
sings off-key some weird disco hit.

IN THE HALLWAY
the happy molester squeezes by,
reaches the door. Smiles.

IN THE BATHROOM
the door opens.
In creeps lover-mom.

DOT
(throaty)
Does little Sparkle-ette
need help cleaning those --
hard-to-reach places?

EXT. TRAILER - CONTINUOUS
Steam drifts out the bathroom window.
A knapsack FLIES OUT.

Out pops SPARKLE PLENTY (16),
teased-hair K-Mart adorable.

Picture-pretty face.
What you call a ‘spinner.’

She JUMPS, lands on the ground.
Then runs, giggling.

IN THE BATHROOM
Coquettish, Dot opens the shower door --

DOT
Mmmmmm -- do I smell Soft Soap?

To reveal it’s empty.

A TAPE RECORDER
sits on the toilet.
The source of the singing.

A WINDOW SHADE
flaps against the open window.

IN THE LIVING ROOM
Roscoe sings along, having
the time of his life. BURP.

IN THE BATHROOM

DOT
Roscoe, Sparkle escaped! Again!

EXT. HILLSIDE - CONTINUOUS
Sparkle looks down
on her nest from hell.

Holds a remote trigger box
in dainty hands.

SPARKLE
(punches a button)
Hasta la vista, incestual units --

THE TRAILER
EXPLODES in a massive fireball.

SPARKLE (O.S.)
Cause this chick’s
going to Hollywood.