Police Issue

Hey there, crime kids. TGIF. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of DAZED, BEAUTIFUL & BRUISED, under-aged beauty pageant queen Sparkle Plenty shops for sex toys and gets propositioned by adult film director Bruce Ball. Meanwhile, undercover cop Carrie Love gets busted on a porn film set ...


INT. THE PLEASURE CHEST - EARLIER THAT DAY
Sparkle looks at a boxed
strap-on harness. Makes a face.

Continues down the aisle,
until she sees --

CHROME HANDCUFFS. 'Police issue.'

She smiles, reaches for them.
A MALE VOICE behind her --

MALE VOICE (O.S.)
Are those for work -- or play?

Sparkle turns, faces the intruder.
It’s BRUCE BALL. Smiling.

SPARKLE
They’re for a movie.

BRUCE
A movie, huh?
Isn’t that funny.
I’m in the movie business myself.
Commercials, mostly -- for now.

SPARKLE
(deadly serious)
It’s an industry town.

Pause.

BRUCE
Yeah.
So, listen -- here’s my card.
I’m always casting something.
You’ve got a nice look.
She stares. Ignores the card.

SPARKLE
What do I look like? Talent?

INT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - KITCHEN - AT THE SAME TIME
Carrie and Zette get coffee,
scope out the craft services.

CARRIE
-- And I said, 'what do
I look like? Talent?'

ZETTE
Vat do you expect when you
come to the porno
dressed like Daisy Dykes?

CARRIE
I’m dressed like this cause
it’s a fucking hundred degrees
out here in this cultural wasteland.

Pause.

ZETTE
(takes her hand)
I had fun the other night.
Glad you came.

CARRIE
Me, too.
Several times, actually.
(awkward)
Listen, there’s something
I gotta tell you.

A MALE VOICE is heard
in the doorway.

MALE VOICE (O.S.)
You mean she doesn’t know
you’re a cop?

Zette and Carrie look.
It’s Bruce.

BRUCE
A plainclothes homicide
detective, I believe?

ZETTE
You’re a cop?

CARRIE
I was going to tell you.
(to Bruce)
Bruce Ball?
What a surprise.
What are you doing here?

BRUCE
I’m the director of the film.

CARRIE
FILM?
I thought this was a porno.

BRUCE
We in the industry prefer
the term adult film.

CARRIE
Adult film?
Oxymoron much?