The Way Of The Gun

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 51 of BABY HEISTER, Doc discovers that Kelsey killed the Yakuza gang leader that murdered her parents Griff and Chelle, and is surprisingly cool with it ... and then he, Kelsey, Jo and Simon begin their robbery of the bank where Griff and Chelle got killed trying to rob it ...


INT. SHITTY MOTEL - BATHROOM - DAY
Kelsey sits on the toilet seat
wearing a tank top.

Simon ties a bandage around
her upper arm tightly,
making a tourniquet.

KELSEY
Ow.

SIMON
It’s gotta be tight.
And you’re gonna have
to see a doctor soon.
If it gets infected,
you’re fucked.

KELSEY
I’ll go after the job.
Hurry up and finish
before they wake up.

DOC (O.C.)
What’s going, Kelsey? What happened?

Reveal Doc. Standing in the doorway.

KELSEY
Doc.

DOC
What happened to your arm?

Pause.

KELSEY
We, uh -- visited the Yakuza.

DOC
Did you kill him?

KELSEY
Yeah.
(beat)
Please don’t be mad.

Doc stares at her. Sighs.

DOC
Fuck it. Bastard’s dead,
and you didn’t get caught.

KELSEY
You’re not -- mad at me?

DOC
Life’s too short. C’mon.
Jo’s got a first aid kit.
We’ll get you fixed up in a jiffy.

Kelsey stares, open-mouthed.
Doc CLAP-CLAPS his hands.

DOC
C’mon, let’s get a move on.
We’ve places to go,
people to see,
banks to rob.

INT. EMPTY STORE - DAY
An empty space with a cement floor.
Construction equipment. Piles of lumber.
The gang wears coveralls and hard hats.

Simon stands at a makeshift table
with a metal box on it.

He FLICKS a switch.
A red light starts BLINKING.

SIMON
Simon says SCRAMBLED.

A HONK-HONK from outside.

DOC
Dumpster’s here. Places, please.

Simon, Doc and Jo pull goggles
down from their helmets.

Scarves up from around their necks.
Faces now covered.

IN THE ALLEY
The Dumpster truck rolls to a stop
in front of the store.

Simon walks up to it. Waves.
The DRIVER (20’s),
big and burly, gets out.
Climbs down carrying a clipboard.

SIMON
Boy, am I glad to see you.
My boss is gonna have my ass.

BURLY DRIVER
Got a lot of shit, huh?

Simon CLIPS him on the head
with his gun. He falls, THWUNK.

IN THE STORE
Doc looks at Kelsey.

DOC
It’s showtime, baby heister.

Kelsey nods.
Unzips her coveralls.
Steps out of them.

Now resplendent in
Daisy Dukes and a tight,
denim top knotted
above her belly button.

She takes off her hard hat.
Undoes her ponytail.

Shakes her hair free.
Puts it back on.

Then mirrored shades.
Applies blood-red lipstick.

KELSEY
Think this’ll work?

DOC
Won’t know what hit ‘em --