Friday, February 5, 2016

Leave The Driving To Us


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 54 of BABY HEISTER, the cops get tipped off about Doc's gang's bank robbery, and head over to the scene of the crime. Meanwhile, Doc and Kelsey tangle with rogue cop Flint Cole, who holds them hostage ...


INT. ABANDONED GROCERY STORE - DAY
Costello SLAMS down the phone.
RACES over to Darryl’s desk,
where he sits and chats
with Flint over cups of coffee.

COSTELLO
Chief, the First National Bank
of California’s been hit.
Main branch, downtown.

FLINT
The bank where the Hazards were killed?
I thought it was closed for repairs.

COSTELLO
It was, but now it’s done.

DARRYL
And they were delivering all
the money they’d need today --

Another COP (40’s) African-American,
built like a linebacker, salt and pepper,
approaches them, excited.

LINEBACKER COP
Chief. We just a call from
a guy at a gas station.
Recognized Doc and his crew
when they stopped to refuel.

DARRYL
WHERE?

LINEBACKER COP
Near a freeway entrance.
Said they’re heading east on the ten.
Big U-Haul.

DARRYL
Call the Highway Patrol.
Have them set up a roadblock.

LINEBACKER COP
One step ahead of you.

Flint gets up.
Starts heading toward the door.

FLINT
I’m gonna catch those fuckers.

DARRYL
They gotta BIG lead on you.
You’ll never catch them.

He GRABS the knob.
Turns. Looks. Sneers.

FLINT
You haven’t seen ME drive.

EXT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - DAY
A ramshackle joint from
the turn of the century.

The Dumpster truck pulls up
to the entrance. HONKS once.
Then twice again.

The doors slowly open inward.
The truck drives in.

INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS
A giant space. Almost big enough
to be an airplane hanger.

Parked off to the side is
a giant semi tractor-trailer,
back doors open,
with a ramp leading up inside it.

Flint stands near it,
along with EB PICKER (40’s),
a giant redneck trucker right out
of central casting.

Holding a shotgun. Chewing tobacco.
Confederate flag hat. The works.

IN THE DUMPSTER TRUCK
Kelsey looks at Doc. Shakes her head.

KELSEY
I don’t like it.

DOC
Don’t have any choice.

SIMON
Who’s the scary-looking dude next to him?

DOC
Must be the driver.

KELSEY
How do we know we can trust them?

DOC
Fifteen million bucks says so.
And besides, we now have protection.
He’ll keep the law away from us.
(opens his door)
C’mon. Let’s get it over with.

They get out of the truck.
Flint and Eb walk over.

FLINT
Well, if it isn’t the
Cooch In The Wall Gang.

DOC
Cole.

FLINT
Okay. Here’s how it’s gonna work.
Eb here gave the cops an anonymous tip
that you’re heading east
on the ten freeway in a U-Haul,
so the cops are looking for you there.
Meanwhile, he’s gonna take you
to the Marina where your boat is.

EB
(CRACKS the shotgun)
Leave the drivin’ to us.

FLINT
You’ll wait there while Doc
and I go get his dough.
(to Doc)
If I don’t return safely, they die.
And if they get cute, you’re toast.
(cackles)
Sometimes I’m so brilliant
I can’t fucking take it.
(off their stares)
Okay. Toss your guns on the floor
and let’s get this show on the fuckin’ ROAD.

Kelsey, Simon and Jo toss them. Look pissed.
Eb starts picking them up.

DOC
If we’re going to rob a police precinct,
I’d like to keep mine.

FLINT
Sorry, pop. No can do.
(off his stare)
You’ll get it back. Promise.

DOC
What if I take out the bullets?

He carefully pulls out his Magnum.
Racks out the clip.

Opens it. Dumps the bullets
on the floor. Holds it up.

Shows it’s empty.
SHOVES it back in, CLICK. Flint smiles.

FLINT
That’ll work.

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