Friday, February 5, 2016
Leave The Driving To Us
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 54 of BABY HEISTER, the cops get tipped off about Doc's gang's bank robbery, and head over to the scene of the crime. Meanwhile, Doc and Kelsey tangle with rogue cop Flint Cole, who holds them hostage ...
INT. ABANDONED GROCERY STORE - DAY
Costello SLAMS down the phone.
RACES over to Darryl’s desk,
where he sits and chats
with Flint over cups of coffee.
Chief, the First National Bank
of California’s been hit.
Main branch, downtown.
The bank where the Hazards were killed?
I thought it was closed for repairs.
It was, but now it’s done.
And they were delivering all
the money they’d need today --
Another COP (40’s) African-American,
built like a linebacker, salt and pepper,
approaches them, excited.
Chief. We just a call from
a guy at a gas station.
Recognized Doc and his crew
when they stopped to refuel.
Near a freeway entrance.
Said they’re heading east on the ten.
Call the Highway Patrol.
Have them set up a roadblock.
One step ahead of you.
Flint gets up.
Starts heading toward the door.
I’m gonna catch those fuckers.
They gotta BIG lead on you.
You’ll never catch them.
He GRABS the knob.
Turns. Looks. Sneers.
You haven’t seen ME drive.
EXT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - DAY
A ramshackle joint from
the turn of the century.
The Dumpster truck pulls up
to the entrance. HONKS once.
Then twice again.
The doors slowly open inward.
The truck drives in.
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS
A giant space. Almost big enough
to be an airplane hanger.
Parked off to the side is
a giant semi tractor-trailer,
back doors open,
with a ramp leading up inside it.
Flint stands near it,
along with EB PICKER (40’s),
a giant redneck trucker right out
of central casting.
Holding a shotgun. Chewing tobacco.
Confederate flag hat. The works.
IN THE DUMPSTER TRUCK
Kelsey looks at Doc. Shakes her head.
I don’t like it.
Don’t have any choice.
Who’s the scary-looking dude next to him?
Must be the driver.
How do we know we can trust them?
Fifteen million bucks says so.
And besides, we now have protection.
He’ll keep the law away from us.
(opens his door)
C’mon. Let’s get it over with.
They get out of the truck.
Flint and Eb walk over.
Well, if it isn’t the
Cooch In The Wall Gang.
Okay. Here’s how it’s gonna work.
Eb here gave the cops an anonymous tip
that you’re heading east
on the ten freeway in a U-Haul,
so the cops are looking for you there.
Meanwhile, he’s gonna take you
to the Marina where your boat is.
(CRACKS the shotgun)
Leave the drivin’ to us.
You’ll wait there while Doc
and I go get his dough.
If I don’t return safely, they die.
And if they get cute, you’re toast.
Sometimes I’m so brilliant
I can’t fucking take it.
(off their stares)
Okay. Toss your guns on the floor
and let’s get this show on the fuckin’ ROAD.
Kelsey, Simon and Jo toss them. Look pissed.
Eb starts picking them up.
If we’re going to rob a police precinct,
I’d like to keep mine.
Sorry, pop. No can do.
(off his stare)
You’ll get it back. Promise.
What if I take out the bullets?
He carefully pulls out his Magnum.
Racks out the clip.
Opens it. Dumps the bullets
on the floor. Holds it up.
Shows it’s empty.
SHOVES it back in, CLICK. Flint smiles.