Easy As Pie

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 55 of BABY HEISTER, Simon, Kelsey and Jo get ready to ambush dirty cop Flint Cole. Meanwhile, Flint and Doc get ready to steal Doc's stash from the police precinct evidence room ...


INT. SEMI TRAILER - REAR COMPARTMENT - MOVING - DAY
Simon, Kelsey and Jo sit
on the floor in the rear.

SIMON
This fucking sucks.

KELSEY
Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.
(looks at Jo)
Right?

JO
Motherfucker made a BIG mistake.
No one messes with DOC.

EXT. POLICE PRECINCT - PARKING LOT - DAY
Flint’s Crown Vic pulls into the lot. Parks
.
INT. FLINT’S CROWN VIC - DAY
Flint shuts off the engine. Looks at Doc.

FLINT
Now don’t shit your pants.
This is gonna go real smooth.
Everyone I work with is
at the command center.
And the shift doesn’t change until two,
so there’s almost no one around.

DOC
So how we gonna do this?

FLINT
Evidence room is downstairs.
Stairwell isn’t far from the rear exit.
We go in quick, grab the duffles
and slide back out. Easy as pie.

DOC
What if someone recognizes me?

Flint hands him a baseball cap and shades.

FLINT
Put these on and you’ll look like a dick.

DOC
No shit.

INT. POLICE PRECINCT - CORRIDOR - DAY
Linoleum floor. Pale puke cinder block walls.
Flint leads Doc down the hallway.
Deserted. No one around.

They reach the door to a stairwell.
Flint grabs the knob. Opens it. Bows.

FLINT
Heisters first.

Doc shakes his head.
Heads on down. Flint follows.

IN THE STAIRWELL
Doc goes down the steps,
Flint right behind him.

FLINT
Think I’m gonna like being
on your side of the law.

DOC
Were you ever on the right side?

FLINT
You had a good run, old timer --
but you finally met your match.

They get to the bottom.

DOC
Let me go first.

He opens the door. They walk into --

INT. POLICE PRECINCT - BASEMENT CORRIDOR - DAY
They walk down the hallway silently.
Make a turn.

Arrive at a caged area with a
FAT LATINO COP (50’s)
sitting behind a desk.

Flint walks over to the doorway.
Raps on the cage.

FLINT
Rodriguez, you fat fuck.
You STILL down here?
I thought they retired your refried ass.

Rodriguez gets up. Smiles. Walks over.

RODRIGUEZ
Well, if it ain’t detective Serpico,
outta the gutter and back on the take.
(looks at Doc)
Who ya got with you?
Too old to be your new partner.

FLINT
This here’s Gus.
He’s a screenwriter,
doing research for a TV show.

RODRIGUEZ
Really? What’s it called?

DOC
The Heisters.

FLINT
It’s pretty cool.
About a family of bank robbers.

RODRIGUEZ
Oh, wow. That does sound cool.
(brightens)
Like Doc Hazard and his gang.

FLINT
As a matter of fact,
that’s why we’re here.

RODRIGUEZ
Right. I heard you were on that case.
(unlocks the door, opens it --
C’mon in.