Reality Check

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, science genius nerd Frankie Stein hangs out at high school with his BFF Josh Bohner and reveals he's in love with head cheerleader Shayla Petrie, who won't give him the time of day. Meanwhile, Frankie's mom Peggy calls the cops to deal with the dead rat that Frankie brought back to life ...


EXT. SUBURBAN HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
Out of a John Hughes movie.
Old and stately. Manicured lawn.

Manicured kids from good homes.
The joint’s abuzz with dozens of
STUDENTS on their way to class.

Frankie walks with his friend
JOSH BOHNER (17), small and intense.
Makes Christopher Mintz-Platz look macho.

JOSH
You mean it WORKED?

FRANKIE
Yeah. Then the little fucker ran away.

JOSH
Do you realize what this MEANS?

FRANKIE
That I’m a genius?

JOSH
(sees something)
Uh-oh. Here come the archetypes --

A trio of CHEERLEADERS walk by.
Two scoops of blonde times three.

They glide by the boys.
Bathed in golden sunlight.
Frankie sighs. Stares at --

SHAYLA PETRIE (17),
the head cheerleader.
sees Frankie staring.

Whispers to her friends.
They ERUPT in laughter.

FRANKIE
Shayla Petrie --

JOSH
I can’t believe you
have the hots for her.
She just LAUGHED at you.

FRANKIE
I don’t care. She’s perfect --

JOSH
Hello? Reality check?
She’s WAY out of your league.

FRANKIE
(watches her go)
I don’t care --

JOSH
(tugs on his sleeve)
C’mon, we’re gonna be late for chem lab.
They start walking inside.

FRANKIE
I would KILL to be with her.

JOSH
Careful what you wish for --

HIDING BEHIND A NEARBY TREE
We see Vita, watching them.
She shakes her head sadly.

VITA
Shayla Petrie?
She’s the biggest slut in SCHOOL --

INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Plain and ordinary, but comfy. Homey.
We hear SQUEALING and BANGING
from behind a closed door.

Vita’s mother PEGGY (40)
talks on the phone.
Looks freaked out.

PEGGY
Nobody’s come yet.
Can they hurry it up?
It’s making such an awful racket --

DISPATCHER (O.C.)
(electronic)
You don’t need to call
nine-one-one more than once, Ma’am.
An officer should be there any minute.

The doorbell RINGS.

PEGGY
That must them. Thanks, bye --

She hangs up, rushes out
of the room to the --

FRONT DOOR
Where she opens it.
A UNIFORMED OFFICER walks in.

Young. Decent-looking.
Trying very hard not to smile.

UNIFORMED OFFICER
Mrs. Heck?

PEGGY
Please. Call me Peggy.

UNIFORMED OFFICER
Peggy.
(nods)
Officer Beverage.
You reported a wild,
rabid rat invasion?

Meet CHET BEVERAGE (30’s),
small town peace officer.

A bit paunchy from living the good life.
Great with getting cats out of trees.

Never fired his weapon.
On purpose, that is.

PEGGY
Yes, I did.
Thank god you’re here.
Come with me.
I’ll show you --