Friday, April 30, 2010

Pussy Hound


Happy Friday, crime slicksters! It's time once again to take a hardboiled trip to the dark side, a place of unspeakable depravity, where sins of the flesh are always on the menu ... at That Killing Feeling.

In today's chapter from NOWHERE GIRLS, as agents Cherry Nation and April Street make their way through the mall while being pursued by the FBI, they make plans for their escape with the help of black ops rogue spook Rock Vargas. Meanwhile, the FBI have their own secret weapon, 'Bunky,' a 'pussy hound,' on loan from Bill Clinton ...

INT. SHOPPING MALL - BASEMENT - NIGHT
Cherry and April climb the steel rungs in the wall.
April talks on her hands-free cell phone.

APRIL
We’ll be on the roof in a couple minutes.
How close are you?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. ROCK’S HUMMER - MOVING - NIGHT
Rock drives, smokes a Gitanes, talks on his cell.
He’s now wearing a black suit, shades and an earpiece.

ROCK
I’m just around the corner.

APRIL
What’s your plan?

ROCK
I had a better idea.
I’m going in as Secret Service,
on orders from the White House.

APRIL
How you are going to pull THAT off?

ROCK
Piece of cake. That was my last job --
(shakes his head)
But after seven years of protecting a chimp, I had to bail.
(beat)
Biggest mistake of my life. This feels right.

APRIL
Well, if you can pull this off,
I’ll personally make sure you get a deal,
maybe even come work with us.

ROCK
Works for me. I’m on my way.
I’m in a black Hummer. Over.

APRIL
Roger that. Over.

She SNAPS her cell shut. Looks at Cherry.

APRIL
I think this guy’s okay.
(off her look)
He called Bush a chimp --

INT. SHOPPING MALL BASEMENT - UNDERGROUND CORRIDOR - NIGHT
A four-man squadron of COMMANDOS in riot gear
work their way down the same corridor
we saw Cherry and April in earlier.
They get to a intersection of two tunnels. Stop.

One of them has an BIG, BLACK ATTACK DOG.
He JERKS the leash.

TALL COMMANDO
Which way, boy?

The dog SNIFFS, GROWLS, JERKS him to the left.

HUGE COMMANDO
He can really smell their scent?

TALL COMMANDO
Yeah. Got him from Clinton’s staff.
He can sniff out a filly from a half-mile away.

HUGE COMMANDO
Nice.

Tall Commando’s walkie talkie CHIRP. He answers it.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. SHOPPING MALL - NIGHT
Sunday huddles with Max by the front entrance to the mall.

SUNDAY
Status report?

HUGE COMMANDO
We’re getting close, chief.
We’ve covered the whole joint
except the basement, where we are now.
Bunky’s got their scent.

SUNDAY
Who the FUCK is Bunky?

HUGE COMMANDO
Tracer dog, Ma’am.

SUNDAY
Oh, right -- the Clinton thing.
Pussy hound. Carry on.
Keep me posted. Over.

HUGE COMMANDO
Roger that.

They hang up.

MAX
What’s 'the Clinton thing?'

HUGE COMMANDO
Sorry. That’s on a ‘need to sniff’ basis only.

2 comments:

  1. This is ten tons of awesome. Makes me want to watch a bunch of Andy Sidaris films.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, doll. Hope you keep comin' back for more ... !

    ReplyDelete