Happy Thursday, crime kids! It's time once again to take a little trip to the dark side. A place where things are settled at the wrong end of a gun. A place where evil lurks in the hearts of men ... and women ... at That Killing Feeling.
Into today's chapter of the spy thriller NOWHERE GIRLS, agents Cherry Nation and April Street hunker down in their mobile safe house trying to learn the location of their evil nemesis Honey Almond ... Meanwhile, 'assassin to the stars' The Bagger has found their location, and is on his way ...
INT. SERGE’S MOTOR HOME - NIGHT
Serge sits at a workstation against one wall of the main room.
Looks at a computer monitor, which is flashing rows of data.
Cherry and April crowd around and watch.
These are all the calls she made in the last month.
Look. Alot of the numbers are the same.
How much you wanna bet that’s Honey’s number?
(punches on the keyboard)
Problem is, the location is encrypted.
So, I need to decipher it.
I’ve got a copy of this Al Qaeda program
on the black market that --
Al Qaeda? REALLY?
Yes. It’s state-of-the-art.
Developed by the Russians.
It can decrypt almost any --
He closes his eyes. Sighs.
I just realized.
The only copy I had is back at the safe house.
SHIT. I just realized something --
OUR location can be tracked on Bibi’s PHONE.
He GRABS the phone.
THROWS it to the floor.
SMASHES it with his boot. CRUNCH.
I hope we were in time.
Let’s not stay around long enough to find out, okay?
Oui. It is time, as they say, to get out of Dodge.
EXT. VENICE BEACH PARKING LOT - AT THAT MOMENT
The Bagger and Lemon carefully approach the parking lot.
We go in through the roof. Air vent.
I’ll go in first, because I’m smaller --
Not to mention lemon-fresh.
Shit. I better check in.
He pulls out his cell phone.
Ducks down behind a old pickup truck.
Dials a number. Lemon joins him. Crouches down.
Hello, chief. It’s the Bag-man.
INT. HONEY’S UNDERGROUND LAIR - PRIVATE OFFICE - NIGHT
The blinds are closed. She’s sitting on the desk,
skirt up around her waist, being serviced by Rock.
A red phone on her desk RINGS.
I can’t. It’s 'The Assassin To The Stars' --
He stops. Looks crestfallen.
She grabs the receiver.
Motions for him to continue.
He shakes his head 'really?'
Then starts thrusting HARDER. FASTER.
(into the phone)
You get the -- French tart?
She GASPS. Approaching liftoff.
Didn’t have to. Feds got there first,
blew her clit to kingdom come.
Froggie had to be scraped into a dozen evidence bags.
Nice. And what about Betty and Veronica?
Uh, they escaped.
(moans, starting to climax)
(shakes her head)
What did you say?
(POUNDS on the desk)
They GOT AWAY?
Not to worry, I followed them.
They’re holed up in a shitty,
old RV at the Venice Beach parking lot.
I’m about to approach.
(cups the phone, to Lemon)
I think she’s having sex --
Good work, Bag --
Ah, ah, ah, AHHHHHHH --
She lets out an EAR-SPLITTING SHRIEK of pleasure.
The Bagger holds the phone up to Lemon.
She smiles. Gives a thumbs-up.
Boss? You there? Everything okay?
Rock dismounts. Pulls his pants up. Triumphant.
Honey lights a cigarette. Smiles dreamily.
Exhales a big cloud of smoke.
Never better. I was being defiled.
Uh, debriefed. I was being debriefed --