Friday, December 18, 2009

Geraldo Rivera, Eat Your Heart Out

Happy Friday, hardboiled crime motherfuckers. You say you're fed up? Mad as hell, and can't take it anymore? Then slip on your shoulder holster, load up your favorite piece, and head on over to the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's steaming slab of action, courtesy of LITTLE GIRL BLUE ...

Now that white slave trafficker Tolly Chill and his henchmen have invaded private eye Carrie Love's family's Beverly Hills mansion on Christmas Eve, Carrie and the gang fight back, and kill two of Tolly's goons ... but the survivors are still on the attack, so Margo reveals a secret way to escape ...


INSIDE THE STUDY
Eva sees the doorknob turning.
The door opening --

EVA
The DOOR.

She SHOOTS. BANG.

Blue SHOOTS. BANG.
The rifle KNOCKS her shoulder.
She JERKS.

Seth FIRES OFF a BLAST OF ROUNDS -
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

OUTSIDE THE DOOR
Tolly reaches around, AND FIRES into the room.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

INSIDE THE STUDY
Everybody DUCKS. HITS the floor.
Eva and Blue reload.

Seth FIRES again.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. Eyes on fire.

INT. CARRIE’S BEDROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Gunshots RING OUT from downstairs.
No one moves.

Porkpie holds his gun on Carrie.
Listening. Concentrating.

Carrie looks at Bernie.
Her eyes flicker. He slightly nods.

Confused, Porkpie moves his gun from Carrie to Bernie.
Carrie SHOOTS him in the head.
BANG. He goes down. THWUMP.

CARRIE
(picks up the walkie)
Haven’t used that one in a long time.

BERNIE
Like old home week. Grab his gun.

CARRIE
(takes it)
Let’s go downstairs. Join the party.

BERNIE
Better take the service stairs.

CARRIE
Service with a smile.

BERNIE
Don’t get carried away.
I’m still mad at you.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Tolly stands next to the door.
Looks at the holes in it.

TOLLY
Gotta go get Mick.

He turns, and RACES up the stairs to the second floor.

INT. SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Tolly races into Carrie’s room.
Sees Aldo’s dead body.
And Mick. All tied up.

MICK
Took you long enough.

TOLLY
(starts untying him)
Shut the fuck up.
(beat)
They’ve all got guns. Goddamit.

He finishes. Mick’s free.
Tolly takes his Uzi.

MICK
What now?

TOLLY
(raises the Uzi)
We go the fuck downstairs and get the bitches.

MICK
Where’s Porkpie?

TOLLY
I thought he was -- here, upstairs.

MICK
Don’t look at me.
I’ve been a little tied up.

INT. STUDY - CONTINUOUS
Bernie and Carrie dash into the room.
Close the door.

SETH
Carrie. What happened?

CARRIE
We killed another one of them.
Got his Uzi. Have more firepower.

BERNIE
They’re now down to two.
And one of ‘em is tied up.

BLUE
Wow.

SETH
One of them was out there,
but we shot at them,
and now he’s gone.

CARRIE
Where?

Seth shrugs.

BERNIE
(looks at Carrie)
Okay, so what now?

Margo opens her eyes. Blinks.
Looks around the room.

MARGO
We could go down to the basement.
It’s probably a lot safer.

LAYLA
Mrs. Love?

MARGO
I told you, call me Margo.

LAYLA
I gave you enough Dilaudid to knock out A-Rod.

MARGO
Honey, please.
You should see my medicine cabinet.

CARRIE
What do you mean downstairs?
The door to the basement
is at the other end of the house.

MARGO
Your father never wanted you kids to know,
but there’s a secret door
in this room that leads down there --
left over from Prohibition.
There’s all kinds of tunnels down there.

CARRIE
And you’re just telling us this NOW?

MARGO
I would have before --
(points at Layla)
But this one keeps pumping me full of drugs.

LAYLA
Excuse me for doing my job.

BERNIE
So how do we get down there?

MARGO
Go to the bookcase. Pull out Moby Dick.

Carrie walks over to the bookcase.
Scans the titles. Finds it.
Pulls it out by the spine --
and the bookcase SLIDES open,
revealing a staircase going down.

CARRIE
Geraldo Rivera eat your heart out.

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