Onto today's joint from LITTLE GIRL BLUE, and you better hold onto your seats, kids, cause this one's a doozy ...
When we last left private eye Carrie Love, she was defending her family and friends against white slave trafficker Tolly Chill and his band of goons ... who have invaded her mother's home on Christmas Eve during a freak snowstorm. The gang has escaped into a secret basement room, but the mobsters are hot on their trail ... but just when all seems lost, Carrie's mother reveals a secret tunnel ...
INT. BEVERLY HILLS MANSION - BASEMENT - NIGHT
Carrie walks over to the bookcase. Scans the titles. Finds it.
Pulls it out by the spine --
and the bookcase SLIDES open,
revealing a staircase going down.
Geraldo Rivera eat your heart out.
Why don’t you help Layla get mom into the wheelchair.
(to Bernie and Seth)
And you guys help me move the desk in front of the door.
It should buy us some time.
What can I do?
Why don’t you go down first, look around. Be our scout.
You know, if I wasn’t scared shitless,
I’d say this is the most fun I’ve had in years.
INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Tolly and Mick stand in front of Porkpie’s dead body.
The fucking bitch.
And they got his gun. SHIT.
So what now?
Let’s go down the chimney --
(KA-CHINKS the gun magazine)
And deliver the presents.
INT. STUDY - CONTINUOUS
Carrie and Bernie push the desk against the door.
Layla wheels Margo to the steps.
Bernie races over. Grabs a handle.
Let’s carry her.
(grabs the other)
POUNDING on the door.
Hey, YOU IN THERE.
Open the door RIGHT NOW, or we’ll start SHOOTING.
Hurry up, let’s go.
How do you close it again?
There’s a switch on the wall.
(at the door)
Get THE FUCK out of my MOTHER’S HOUSE.
ON THE OTHER SIDE
Tolly looks at Mick.
I say we fuckin’ blast ‘em.
Let’s DO IT.
IN THE STUDY
The door ERUPTS in MACHINE GUN FIRE. Wood SPRAYS.
Move it, move it, move it --
Bernie and Seth carry Margo down the stairs.
Blue follows, then Layla. And Carrie.
The panel closes. THWUNK.
The top half of the door above the desk is SHREDDED by bullets.
A confetti of wood SPRAYS into the room.
It falls over. BANG.
Tolly and Mick step up onto the desk.
Walk in the room.
What the fuck? GODDAMMIT.
They were just HERE. I HEARD her --
Where the fuck did they GO?
INT. SECURITY PATROL CAR - AT THAT MOMENT
Tip talks on his cell phone.
Yes, on the walkie talkie.
The woman said she and her family were being attacked.
It’s a HOME INVASION.
I told you, I DON’T KNOW the address.
She got cut off --
Just send some officers,
and we’ll figure it out when they get here.
He hangs up. Picks up the flask. Takes a drink. Toasts.
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening --
INT. BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS
A large, dusty room. Dim light from a single light.
The joint looks like an old-time saloon.
Carrie, Bernie, Blue, Seth, Margo and Layla huddle together.
Seth flicks on a light switch. Nothing.
I thought Diego changes the lights.
He does, in the main basement.
This is a secret room.
He doesn’t know about it.
Carrie walks around, inspecting the walls.
So I imagine there is at least one secret tunnel.
There are two, actually.
Bonus points if you can find them.
You’re gonna make this as difficult as possible, aren’t you.
Well, we wouldn’t be in this mess if you hadn’t been followed here.
You got THAT right.
Oh, no -- it’s all my fault, you guys.
Everybody shut up.
Mom, I’m sorry if I didn’t live up to your expectations --
but I’m my own person now, I’m an ADULT,
and I deserve to be treated with respect.
I help people for a living,
and I seem to remember you
fell in love with my father because HE did.
Little brother, I’m sorry if you think I abandoned you
after I joined the police force,
but in case you didn’t know it,
DEAR MOTHER here forbade me from contacting you.
Said I was a bad influence.
Let me finish.
And you, my dear ex-husband and former partner.
(points at Blue)
As I seem to remember when we joined the force,
we were sworn to protect and serve the public --
and that’s all I’m trying to do for this girl.
Her sister was MURDERED,
and she was about to be, too --
so PARDON ME for saving her life.
So NOW you know why I’ve been avoiding coming home.
Because THIS SHIT follows me WHEREEVER I GO.
So let’s stop bickering.
It’s gonna be Christmas tomorrow morning soon,
and there’s no way in HELL I’m gonna spend it in a funeral home.
Carrie’s walkie talkie CRACKLES to life.
Tolly, you there?
She motions everyone to be quiet.
I’m here, pop.
We’re nearby. What’s the address?
I told you, I don’t know.
That broad still on this thing?
She changes the frequency to the other one she used before.
Hey, you -- private security guy, you still there?
INT. SECURITY PATROL CAR - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Tip picks up his walkie. Speaks into it.
The Name’s Tip. I’m here.
Is this the lady whose house is being invaded?
The one and only. Call me Ishmael.
So listen, the invaders have backup, and they’ve just arrived.
They’re circling the area because the idiots don’t know the address.
Keep an eye out for ‘em.
Probably the only car out in this neighborhood in the blizzard.
Gotcha. Will do.
The cops on their way?
Yeah. But I didn’t get your address. We got cut off.
1600 Sunset Boulevard.
Great. I’ll alert them and then I’m on my way.
Are you all okay?
Yeah, thanks. It’s a long story, but we’re safe right now.
We’ve killed two of them, and there’re two left.
Holy shit. Keep me posted, Ishmael.
Yeah. If you say so.
(shuts it off, to everyone)
Okay, the private security guy is gonna give the cops the address,
and they should be on their way soon.
But I think we should check out the tunnels.