Cue The Fuzz

Happy Thursday, hardboiled crime motherfuckers. Are you ready to take a trip to the dark side? Ready for a rollercoast ride straight to hell? Then get your fat asses over to the coolest joint in cyberspace, where the chicks are hot, and the bullet wounds hotter ... at That Killing Feeling ...

Onto today's episode of LITTLE GIRL BLUE, where the plot thickens, when ...

White slave trafficker Tolly Chill and his cronies are hot on the trail of private eye Carrie Love and would-be stripper/college coed Blue Wonder ... but the problem is, it just started snowing ... in Beverly Hills?

EXT. BEVERLY HILLS - SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT

Big, heavy snowflakes start falling. Making a real mess.

A black SUV travels down the thoroughfare in heavy traffic.

INT. SUV - CONTINUOUS

Tolly drives, while Porkpie watches the

hand-held GPS device in the passenger seat.

In the back sit Aldo and Mick.

PORKPIE

I can’t believe it’s fucking SNOWING.

Weather report said nothing about no SNOW.

TOLLY

Look at these idiots.

No one can drive in this shit.

(beat)

So what’s it say?

PORKPIE

They’re still moving. Going west on --

(squints)

Looks like -- they’re further east on Sunset.

TOLLY

Whaddaya mean looks like?

PORKPIE

Fuckin’ screen is so small.

It’s hard to tell.

TOLLY

(GRABS it)

Gimmee that fuckin’ thing.

He tries to read it as he’s driving.

Doesn’t see --

UP AHEAD

A car SCREECHES to a halt.

THE SUV

CRASHES into it. BANG.

TOLLY (CONT’D)

Shit.

PORKPIE

Nice one.

TOLLY

Shut the fuck up.

MICK

This car legal?

TOLLY

Hell, yeah.

ALDO

They gonna find anything

when they run your license?

TOLLY

What the fuck do YOU think?

OUTSIDE THE SUV

A grim-looking SUIT appears in Tolly’s window.

Knocks on it. Tolly rolls it down.

GRIM-LOOKING SUIT

You hit my car.

TOLLY

What are you gonna do about it?

GRIM-LOOKING SUIT

(holds up his cell phone)

I’ve called the police.

Now we need to exchange insurance information.

TOLLY

How ‘bout we exchange THIS?

He PUNCHES Grim-Looking in the face.

BANG, he goes down.

Tolly HITS the gas,

and they drive away.

EXT. MARGO’S MANSION - AT THAT MOMENT

The entire estate is now covered in a blanket of snow.

Carrie pulls her monster Olds convertible into the driveway.

CARRIE

I’ve never seen -- snow before. Amazing.

BLUE

Reminds me of home.

CARRIE

Looks like you got yourself a White Christmas.

(beat)

Listen, I gotta warn you.

My family is kinda -- strange.

BLUE

Who’s isn’t?

CARRIE

Point well taken.

They get out of the car.

SLAM the doors.

CARRIE (CONT’D)

We’re just gonna stay for a sec.

When Bernie gets here,

we’ll get that cuff off you, then we can --

BERNIE

Pulls up the driveway.

CARRIE (CONT'D)

(sees him)

Cue the fuzz.

Bernie gets out of his car.

Walks over. Huddles in his coat.

BERNIE

You owe me one, BIG TIME.

(looks up)

What’s up with the fucking SNOW?

(looks at Blue)

So this is -- ?

CARRIE

My CLIENT, Bernie.

Blue Wonder, Bernie Keko.

Bernie, Blue.

BERNIE

'Blue Wonder?' Sounds like --

CARRIE

CAN IT, Bernie.

BLUE

My parents were hippies.

CARRIE

And her sister was murdered.

So can we get this over with?

I’m fucking freezing.

BERNIE

Lead on, MacDuff.