Onto today's crime joint from A DISH BEST KILLED, folks. Pulls up a log ... and shoot it.
D-movie actress/femme fatale Haven Crayce and personal trainer Jett Targo, inflamed with passion during their 'personal training' session, decide to take their passion onto the ship ... where Haven's lust takes a most murderous turn ...
EXT. THE SAFE HAVEN HOUSEBOAT - DAWN
Jett kneels. Takes Haven’s foot, places it on her shoulder.
A gold anklet glistens in the sunlight. Jett stares it.
Like my anklet?
It’s -- nice.
Ever see Double Indemnity?
(tries to compose herself)
Okay, just relax. I’ll go slowly --
Jett carefully raises Haven’s glorious, gleaming leg,
until she hears her give out a little moan.
That’s good, that’s good. Just breath into it --
A horn HONKS. Haven looks, sees --
in his Sheriff’s boat. Right nearby. He waves.
Please, I told you -- call me Trimmer,
all my friends do. Who’s your chum?
This is Jett. She’s my personal trainer.
Hey, there. Not TOO personal, I hope. Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Haven stares. Eyes burning with barely disguised contempt.
How’s your husband doing these days? He feeling okay?
Just peachy. Eight hours of dialysis, and he’s fit as a fiddle.
He’s awfully lucky to have a gal like you look after him.
The radio SQUAWKS. Trimmer gets it. Listens.
Copy that, I’m on my way -- Roger and out.
(shakes his head)
Got trouble on one of the luxury yachts.
Yuppie bastard set the galley on fire.
See you later, Haven.
And he cruises away with a ROAR of his engine.
He likes you.
Well, I don’t like him.
I like -- you.
Jett blushes. Haven gets closer. Their bodies touch.
Do you -- like me?
Like you -- how?
Like this --
Haven softly kisses her. Pulls back. Surveys the damage.
Like that --
Jett kisses back. They melt into each other.
Jett’s hands stroke Haven’s curves, slowly, carefully.
Like a virgin.
You make me -- shiver.
And their passion takes off like a blowtorch to dry kindling.
Hands, arms, lips everywhere in a tornado of sin.
Haven STOPS. Looks around. Grabs Jett’s hand --
Not out here. Come with me.
And pulls her inside the boat.
ON THE BOAT NEXT DOOR
Nola watches with binoculars through her main window.
She lowers them. Shakes her head. Wow.
The little minx.
IN DART’S BEDROOM
He lies in bed. Breakfast tray on his lap. Watching TV.
ON THE SCREEN
we see a biography of Humphrey Bogart.
ROBERT OSBOURNE (O.C.)
Bogart got his big break on High Sierra, co-starring Ida Lupino.
It was in this picture that Bogart, playing an escaped convict,
was able to show his soft side,
when he takes a shine to a crippled girl,
and pays for an operation that will --
IN THE MAIN CABIN
Jett and Haven lie on the couch. In each other’s arms.
I’m sorry that was so fast. I haven’t --
Made love in a while.
How -- long?
Haven BURSTS into tears.
Hangs onto Jett for dear life.
(puts arms around her)
Hey, now -- it’s okay.
I’m sorry I asked.
It’s none of my business.
Haven JERKS away. Eyes full of fury.
We haven’t had sex in FOUR YEARS,
since his diabetes got worse
and we moved onto this fucking BOAT.
I was his nurse, see --and then he married me.
I thought it would help my acting career --
but then he got sick, and, and --
it got all FUCKED UP.
I know all about that.
Sometimes you have to do
whatever it takes to get what you want.
But sometimes it just -- doesn’t work out.
And then you’re fucked.
Haven stares at her. Blinking.
EXACTLY. And now he treats me like shit,
orders me around, won’t let me have any friends,
won’t let me LEAVE. Everything is delivered.
I can only go out to walk the dog.
I’m a fucking PRISONER.
and I can’t TAKE IT anymore.
I wish he would DIE.
Shhh. You shouldn’t talk like that.
The bell RING-RING-RINGS.
(looks at her watch)
Shit, it’s time.
Go see what he wants. I’ll wait here.
(slowly gets up, stands)
I know what he wants.
It’s time for his -- hand job.
Right before we start the dialysis machine,
I have to jerk him off, so he’ll fall asleep.
He says it relaxes him.
Every day? How old IS he?
Haven goes to the door.
Too old to live.
(off Jett’s nod)
Think about what I said --
And think about what I have to go do right now.