Onto today's joint from A DISH BEST KILLED. Better hold onto your laptops, kids, cause things are about to get bloody ...
D-movie starlet Haven Crayce's partner in crime Jett Targo and Rush Madder are about to dispose of sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz's dead body out at sea, when Jett suddenly turns the tables on Rush ... with a deadly surprise ...
INT. THE SAFE HAVEN HOUSEBOAT - NIGHT
Trimmer jumps out of bed. Stands. Puffs out his chest.
You can’t shoot me. I’m a cop.
You’re confusing me with someone who gives a shit.
(walks toward Jett)
Give me the gun.
Jett fires. BANG. BANG. BANG.
A trio of rose petals bloom on Trimmer’s wife beater.
He looks down, in shock.
You fucking SHOT me.
He staggers. GRABS onto the side table.
Well, whaddaya know.
Haven LEAPS out of bed. Goes to Jett. Gets behind her.
DIE, you fucking creep! DIE.
Trimmer slumps to the floor. Pulls out his cell phone.
Gotta -- call -- this in --
Jett FIRES again. BANG. BANG. BANG.
Trimmer’s head hits the wall with a THUD.
Lights out. Blood pools in the carpet.
You’ve been suspended from duty, officer.
She looks at Haven. Bursts into WILD LAUGHTER.
You did it!
And it felt so GOOD.
Rush comes in. Out of breath.
I heard the shots. Is he -- you know.
Who are the fuck are YOU?
Do you know this guy?
I told you to stay in the car.
It’s okay, he’s cool.
An old friend of mine from back home.
(holds his crotch)
Can I use the head? I gotta take a wicked piss.
Down the hall, second door on your left.
Rush ambles away.
It’s a long story. Rush and I go way back.
He came to visit, and I can’t get rid of him.
He followed me the night we --
you know, so now he wants in.
Wants a cut for keeping quiet.
I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to --
You offered him a CUT OF THE FUCKING MONEY?
No, of course not. I just need his help with --
(points at Trimmer’s body)
This thing, and --
Then I’ll -- take care of him.
What can I do?
(looks at Trimmer)
Give me his uniform.
His uniform? Why do you want to --
PUSH IN ON Jett. Unbuckling her belt.
Burial at sea.
EXT. OCEAN - SHERIFF’S BOAT - NIGHT
Jett wears Trimmer’s uniform. Pilots the boat through the choppy water.
Rush looks out into the horizon.
The boat ZIPS across the waves, THUMPING on each crest.
She pulls the boat to a stop. Looks back the coastline.
This is far enough, c’mon.
She goes to the back of the boat. Rush follows.
We see Trimmer’s body, rolled up in a tarp. Tied to the anchor.
Jett grabs one end of the body. Rush, the other.
On the count of three --
They slowly swing it back and forth --
One -- two --
And THROW it over the side. SPLASH.
Rush pulls out a small glassine bag filled with white powder.
He scoops out a hit with a long fingernail. INHALES it.
Sniffs. Looks out into the horizon. Pensive.
Sometimes I wish things could go back to the way they were.
(looks at Jett)
Ever feel that way?
Are you kidding? Trapped in that fucked-up small town?
Dealing drugs. Always looking over our shoulder.
Getting the fuck out of Kansas was the best thing we ever did.
Just look at us now.
We were good together for awhile -- you know?
We had a lot of fun.
Oh, yeah. Three-day binges. Knocking off convenience stores.
Eating out of dumpsters. Misty water-colored memories.
I know what I want now, Rush. You should figure that out, too.
I told you, I’m bi.
So that’s why you sexually assaulted a customer.
Shut up. I told you, he came on to ME.
And he was more than a customer, we were friends.
Then why did he try to KILL you?
So I got carried away. I was high.
How was I supposed to know he had a gun?
If you weren’t there to --
That was a long time ago.
I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.
Can I get a hit of that?
(hands her the bag)
Can I borrow your keys?
Rush hands her his keys. Jett dips one in the bag,
HONKS up a big, fat hit. SKRRRRONK.
Rubs her nose. Puts the bag in her pocket.
Pulls out her GUN.
What are you doing?
I’m sorry, Rush. But it’s gotta be this way.
Did you really think I was gonna share our fucking MONEY with you?
You didn’t do anything to HELP. NOTHING.
You’re a fucking LEECH, a LOSER --
Don’t SAY THAT.
A STALKER, and a fucking DRUG ADDICT.
Rush LEAPS at her. Jett WHACKS him on the head with her gun.
CRACK. Rush FLIES back against the railing.
It’s the end of the line, sucker.
Time to sleep with the fishes.
Rush GRABS Jett. Tries to get her gun.
They STRUGGLE. He CHOKES her in a bear hug.
Jett DROPS it. Rush KICKS it away.
Jett LOSES IT. With insane, animal, meth-fueled strength,
she FLINGS his arms away. SPINS him around.
GRABS him, FLIPS him up, and TWIRLS him over her head like a toy.
HA-HA-HA-HA! How do you like THIS?
And THROWS him over the side. SPLASH.
Jett shakes her head. Rushing on the drugs.
Eyes darting madly. She walks over.
Picks up the gun. Goes to the wheel.
Sorry, officer. Didn’t know my own strength.
All ashore who’s going ashore.