Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Rock The Casbah
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 6 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after being chased by zombies in the New Jersey wasteland, Gaga is rescued by Brick Cosmo, revolutionary army resistance soldier ...
EXT. NEW JERSEY - CITY STREET - NIGHT
Across the river, what once was a
bustling berg is now a burned-out shell.
In ruins. A deserted slum.
GAGA comes RUNNING down the street.
Pursued by the trio of
zombies we saw earlier.
They start GAINING on her.
She turns, DUCKS down an alley.
Huffing and panting.
EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
Gaga RUNS down the alley,
the zombies in hot pursuit.
She sees a door. YANKS it open.
RUNS inside. The zombies follow.
INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Gaga TEARS ASS through the kitchen,
GRABBING pots and pans and
HURLING them at the zombies.
But they BOUNCE off them and
CLANG onto the floor. She RUNS into --
INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
Dark. Eerie. Chairs up on tables.
Cobwebs. Rats SCURRY about.
Gaga DASHES through the room.
JUMPS under a table and hides.
The zombies RACE into the room.
Stop. Look around. Sniffing.
The front door FLIES OPEN.
A tall, rugged GUY (40’s) walks in.
Dead ringer for Bruce Campbell.
He holds a giant ‘super-soaker’ squirt gun.
Meet BRICK COSMO, revolutionary warrior.
Eat shit and MELT, mother-undead-FUCKERS.
He SPRAYS them with a brown liquid.
The zombies fall back, SCREAMING.
Their skin BUBBLES in a WHITE MIST.
They HIT the ground and DISSOLVE
into a gooey puddle of pulp and bones.
Brick puts his weapon down.
Steps around it.
You can come out now.
The coast is clear.
Who-who are you?
Brick Cosmo, soldier in the
infected revolutionary army.
C’mon out. I won’t hurt you.
Buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta --
Gaga comes out from under the table.
Sees the zombie puddle.
How did you do that?
(holds up the gun)
Believe it or not, gasoline.
Takes ‘em out faster than
you can say 'pay at the pump.'
Why not just shoot them?
We’re kinda low on bullets these days.
You said -- infected revolutionary army?
The revolution WON’T be televised --
but we’re still gonna kick ass.
(looks her over)
You must be a newbie. Wanna enlist?
We offer room, board and zombie protection.
Yeah, sure. What do I need to do?
Just follow me to our secret
headquarters, and we’ll fill you in.
EXT. ABANDONED CITY STREET - NIGHT
Brick leads Gaga down the ruined avenue.
Keep your eyes peeled.
These mofos can MOVE.
So how many are there
in your revolutionary army?
Now that you’re on board, six.
But that’s just our cell.
There’s TONS of us out here,
and we’re getting ready to
rock the fucking Casbah.
What’s your plan?
Ever seen Escape From New York?
Yeah, sure. I love old movies.
Well, it’s kinda the reverse --