A Bird In A Gilded Cage

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, we travel to the Republic of Manhattan's upper east side, where the conservative Kapp family hosts a glittering party for the one percent. Meanwhile, upstairs in her bedroom, heiress Jool Kapp pleads with her nanny to let her go downtown to Greenwich Village liberal street fair ...


EXT. UPPER EAST SIDE - MANSION - NIGHT
A tony, upper-crust monstrosity
on upper Fifth Avenue.

Three stories of vulgarity.
Takes up the whole block.
Nothing succeeds like excess.

A line of stretch limos spill out
DIGNITARIES, CELEBRITIES and other
SUPER-RICH ASSHOLES who then
walk up the red carpet to
the entrance with their BODYGUARDS.

INT. MANSION - GRAND BALLROOM - NIGHT
Like something out of Versailles.
GUESTS mingle, take drinks and
finger sandwiches from SERVANTS.

Onstage, GREEN DAY plays for the crowd.
In their 60’s, they still rock.

CAMERA finds CARLING KAPP (50’),
scion of the family.

Distinguished good looks. Big smile.
You’d smile, too if you lived here.
He charms a group standing around him.

CARLING
My dear, Harlem HAD to be burned down.
We have BIG PLANS for the area.

ANOREXIC SOCIETY MATRON
Oh? And what exactly ARE
your plans, my dear Carling?

CARLING
A country club RESORT --
surrounding a LAKE.

BIG, FAT CAPITALIST PIG
Astounding, my dear boy.
And I assume membership
will be restricted?

CARLING
But of course --
(sips his champagne)
Of course, given that our construction
methods have become rather medieval
as of late, it will take some time --

BIG, FAT CAPITALIST PIG
Quite.
But first we have to pillage all the OIL.

CARLING
(smiles, raises his glass)
Drill, baby, drill.

They all LAUGH.

INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - NIGHT
Part of a lux suite of rooms
on an upper floor. Very grand.

Tasteful. Tons of books.
A big, old globe.

Old-school computer
with a giant monitor.
A big record library.

Sitting on the bed is JOOL KAPP (17),
Carling’s niece.

Very pretty, but doesn’t work it.
No makeup. Hair in a tomboyish bob.
Smart. Feisty. Strong. Tons of self-will.

Think a young Kate Hepburn.
With a dash of Ellen Page.

Rakish in slacks,
fitted jacket and boots.

JOOL
But I don’t want to go down there.
I can’t stand those people.

They’re all phonies. My IQ goes down
a point every minute I’m around them.

All they care about is
money, class, privilege.

They have no conception about
what’s really important in life.

Standing nearby is NIN (40’s),
Jool’s nanny since childhood.

Smart. Sleek. Very Emma Peel.
Now Jool’s advisor. Confidant.

NIN
But your Uncle Carling expects
you to make an appearance.

JOOL
Tough toenails.
I’m just a trophy to him.
Something to show off.

NIN
Can’t you just humor him?

JOOL
No, I can’t.
I’m a person, Nin -- not a THING.
(off her look)
And I’m tired of being cooped
up in this mausoleum.
I feel trapped.
Like a bird in a gilded cage.
I want to GO OUT.
See the world. Explore.

NIN
Out? Where?
You know the streets aren’t safe.

JOOL
Fiddlesticks. I’m a big girl.
I can take of myself.

NIN
Oh, you can, can you.
And where do you plan on going?

JOOL
Downtown.

NIN
Why on earth would you
want to go downtown?

JOOL
There’s a big Tenth of October street
fair tonight, totally old-school.
Food, drink, live music, you know --
a street fair.

NIN
Ah, yes. I’ve read about those --

JOOL
I can take a cab and
have them wait for me.
It’ll totally be safe.
And I won’t stay long. I promise.
I just wanna see
regular people having FUN.
What’s so wrong about that?

NIN
Kind of like -- anthropology.

JOOL
Exactly. So can I go? Please?

NIN
You feel very strongly about this --
(beat)
Go. Have fun.
But be back by eleven, okay?

JOOL
YES. Thank you, Nin. THANK YOU.
(clasps her hands)
Omigod, I’m so excited I could plotz.

NIN
I expect a full report when you get back.
(beat)
Oh. And don’t forget your gun.

JOOL
Of course not.

She walks over to her desk.
Opens a drawer. Pulls out a
SIG SAUER MOSQUITO.
RACKS out the clip. Checks it.
SHOVES it back in, CHINK.
Puts it her purse.
Looks at Nin. Smiles brightly.

JOOL
Don’t leave home without it.