Friday, April 17, 2015
The Silence Of The Clams
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 35 of SPIRAL, notorious adult film star Savannah shows up again at the annual AVN Awards -- the porn world's Oscars -- and is horrified to discover she's now persona non grata --
INT. HOTEL BANQUET TABLE - NIGHT
A banquet table STUFFED with food -
chicken, turkey, beef, salads, deserts,
coffee, cocktails - the works.
A smiling FEMALE SERVER
stands behind the table
wearing a bikini, high heels,
and a banner across her chest
which reads "Welcome AVN AWARDS!
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - NIGHT
Another year, another AVN awards show.
Tuxedoed and gowned PORN STARS and
EXECUTIVES mingle and sit at
tables eating dinner.
Cheesy heavy metal BOOMS over the P.A.
INT. BALLROOM STAGE - NIGHT
The same band as last year plays,
this time with a very hot, scantilly-clad
BLONDE VIXEN WAILING on the mike.
INT. BALLROOM AISLE - NIGHT
Shannon STAGGERS through the crowd
in jeans and t-shirt,
wearing dark shades.
She CHUGS champaign from
a bottle she clutches.
No one says hello to her.
Where's my table?
Where's my motherfuckin' table?
Shannon takes a program
off a table and examines it.
Topanga Canyon! Fuck her.
Barbie Dahl? Fucking cunt.
I'm not even fucking nominated?
Shannon bumps into a grinning STARLET.
Watch where you're going, bitch!
You bumped into me.
Oh yeah? Well go fuck yourself!
No. You go fuck yourself!
Over the hill whore!
Shannon LUNGES at
the starlet's throat.
The women VIOLENTLY CLAW
at each other.
INT. BALLY'S HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT
Two burly uniformed SECURITY GUARDS
escort the unruly Shannon
through the lobby.
HOTEL GUESTS and a clean-cut
FAMILY look on in horror.
Shannon STRUGGLES against
the guards firm grip.
I said I was leaving!
This place is for losers!
EXT. BALLY'S HOTEL ENTRANCE - NIGHT
Shannon is SHOVED onto
the sidewalk by the guards.
A beat. She looks around,
A pair of RUSSIAN TOURISTS
The HUSBAND points his camera
and starts CLICKING away.
Shannon BEAMS and poses.
(urgent, broken English)
Excuse me, younger lady,
you mind to please move a bit?
Shannon is confused.
The woman points to Shannon's left.
Shannon turns around.
MORGAN FAIRCHILD stands on the red carpet
holding a small dog in her arms.
A pair of loudly dressed
VEGAS TOURISTS get her autograph.