The Talking Dead

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, just as Gaga joins Brick Cosmo and his band of infected revolutionaries, they're suddenly attacked by a hundred screaming, slobbering zombies and have to climb onto the roof to fight them off ...


INT. ABANDONED CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Dark and dank. Windows boarded up.

A series of crude bunk beds line one wall.
On another, shelves filled with supplies.

Brick stands in front of
his group of INFECTED REVOLUTIONARIES.

There’s about a dozen of them,
in various stages of decay.
But none of them are too far-gone.

Standing next to him is Gaga.
Looking around nervously.

BRICK
This here’s Gaga.
She was just infected
and thrown to the wolves.
And she’s decided to
join the revolution.

The group starts murmuring.
MONSTER (30’S), big and burly, stands.
Stares at Gaga. Points a finger.

MONSTER
But she’s just a young GIRL.
How’s she supposed to FIGHT?

BRICK
So what was I supposed to do,
let the terminals GET her?
And besides, it’s
strength in numbers, Monster.

RENO (20’s), a tough biker chick, sneers.

RENO
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Last time I looked,
we’re not on Sesame Street.

MONSTER
I say we VOTE on it.
All that say NAY, raise your hands.

He SHOOTS his hand up.
Half the group raises their hands.

GAGA
Can I say something?

BRICK
Sure thing, little lady.
The floor is yours.

Gaga looks at the group.
Scared to death. But defiant.

GAGA
I’ll have you know that I’m
a Mont, NOT a Kapp, and that
we think how you’ve been treated
is unfair --

MONSTER
Big fucking deal.

GAGA
And -- that my brother has
developed a vaccine for the virus.

A hush falls over the room.

BRICK
Really?
You didn’t tell me that.

GAGA
Well, what with escaping
from the zombies and stuff,
it slipped my mind.

HAMMER (20’s), a dead ringer
for Ving Rhames chortles.

HAMMER
Bull-SHIT.
How do we know this fuckin’
vaccine WORKS?

GAGA
My brother’s a genius.
He’s second year pre-med,
and he’s only seventeen --

Something SLAMS against the front door.
BANG. BANG. BANG.

GAGA
What’s THAT?

MONSTER
INFECTED ATTACK --

The BANGING increases.
Every wall in the room starts SHAKING.

Everybody LEAPS up. Races around.
their squirt guns.

Brick grabs a pair of super-soakers.
Hands one to Gaga.

GAGA
How did they find us?

BRICK
Smell.
In the last six months of infection,
they’re like bloodhounds.
And you’re fresh meat.

Monster RACES over to the wall.
Opens a peep-hole. Looks out.

BRICK
How many?

MONSTER
About a hundred --

GAGA
A HUNDRED?

MONSTER
Hell, we escaped from over a thousand
on the Jersey Shore --

GAGA
A THOUSAND?

MONSTER
Well, you know the Jersey Shore --

BRICK
Quick, everybody -- up to the ROOF.

The BANGING gets louder.
Red-clawed mutant hands
start punching HOLES in the walls.

Everybody RACES to the stairs
on the other side of the room.
Start RUNNING up the steps.

EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE ROOF - NIGHT
Brick, Gaga, Reno, Monster, Hammer
and the rest FLY out onto the roof.
Go to the sides. Look down.

AERIAL POV --
The building is surrounded by
A HOARD OF INFECTED ZOMBIES.

Ravenous, bug-eyed, screeching mutants
covered in lesions, dripping goo,
now scrabbling up the walls like spiders.

JAG, former military (30’s),
big and bulky scans the crowd.

JAG
Semper FUCK --

Brick raises his squirt gun. SCREAMS.

BRICK
Get in FORMATION, soldiers.
Three to a side, LET’S GO --

Four groups of three go to each side.
Start SPRAYING gasoline
down on the attackers.

A pair of SCREAMING INFECTEDS
come over the wall.

Jag SPRAYS them.
They EXPLODE in a RED MIST -- POP.

JAG
Be all you CAN be --

Another ZOMBIE climbs over the wall.
Reaches for Reno.

She NAILS him. He EXPLODES,
drenching her with goo.

RENO
Goddammit, I just did my HAIR --

A SLOBBERING ZOMBIE
flies up over the side.

Gaga NAILS him with a
stream of gas in the chest.

A giant HOLE opens up,
his GUTS slide out -- and he POPS.

GAGA
It’s like a videogame --

MONSTER
I’m getting low on gas --

RENO
So am I --

BRICK
(to Hammer)
Ready for a little FIRE, scarecrow?

Hammer looks at Brick,
strapped into a flamethrower.

HAMMER
It’s Hammer-time --

He FLICKS IT ON and a
SPRAY OF FIRE SHOOTS OUT.

He SWEEPS it down across
the side of the building.

It HITS them -- and they EXPLODE
in SCREAMING FIREBALLS OF BLACK SMOKE.

Hammer RACES around the roof,
SPRAYING fire down the walls,
killing the rest,
the air now thick with smoke.

BRICK
Everybody DOWN.
Cover your MOUTHS --

They all get down, pull bandannas
up over their noses.

GAGA
It smells like -- shit.

BRICK
No shit.
And breathing it will kill you.
It's the virus, in a gaseous state.

HAMMER
That’s why we only use fire
as a last resort.

BRICK
(to Gaga)
About that vaccine.
Where does your brother live?

GAGA
Like I said, we’re Monts.
Downtown. In the Village.

BRICK
Perfect.
That’s where we’re gonna
enter the republic.

GAGA
Are we going over the wall?

BRICK
Don’t be silly.
Too many armed guards.
(beat)
We’re going in through
the Holland Tunnel.

GAGA
That’s GENIUS --

BRICK
Hey.
How do you think I
got to be the leader?
My good looks?