Night Of The Living Fuck

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after scouring the burnt-out ruins of New Jersey, Merk finally finds his missing infected sister Gaga holed up with Brick Cosmo and his mutant revolutionaries, who he can finally try out his new antidote on ...


EXT. NEW JERSEY WATERFRONT - STREET CORNER - NIGHT
Merk walks down the street looking at
the ruins, the decay, the rubble.
Shakes his head sadly.

MERK
New Jersey and you, perfect together.
(beat)
Not.
(hears something)
What’s that?

He stops in front of the
boarded-up convenience store.

Puts his ear against the plywood covering
what used to be one of the windows. Listens.

INT. BOARDED-UP CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Brick, Reno, Monster, Hammer and Jag
are quietly hammering nails into
pieces of wood to cover the holes
that the zombies made during the attack.

It’s a rather odd sight, really,
seeing someone trying
to hammer slowly. Softly.

Gaga looks through a peephole in the wall.
Keeping an eye on what’s going on outside.

GAGA
I don’t fucking BELIEVE it.

BRICK
What?

GAGA
My BROTHER is out there --

RENO
The one with the vaccine?

GAGA
Yeah.

BRICK
Then LET HIM IN --

Gaga slides back a two-by-four
dead bolt across the door.

Then slowly opens the door.
Merk stands there. In shock.

MERK
Gaga?

GAGA
MERK --

MERK
I can’t believe I found you --
so quickly.

GAGA
Get your ass IN HERE.

He comes in. She shuts
and locks the door. They hug.

Brick walks up to Merk.
Offers his hand. They shake.

BRICK
The name’s Brick. Brick Cosmo.
I’m the leader of this here
revolutionary cell.

MERK
(looks around the room, nods)
Cool. Cool.
(beat)
Kind of a small cell --

BRICK
Well, there used to be
about a hundred of us,
but most of our troops got wiped out
in The Battle Of The Meadowlands.
We then decided to set up camp
near where the newly-infected get dropped off.
Figured that would be the
easiest way to increase our ranks.
That’s why you found us so quickly.
Not too shabby, eh?

MERK
Got it --

BRICK
Your sister tells us you’ve
got a vaccine for the virus.

MERK
I do, but I haven’t tested it yet.

RENO
(suspicious)
Why didn’t you test it on yourself?

MERK
I’m not infected.

GAGA
You mean you left the republic to --

MERK
Hey. You’re my sister.

BRICK
How much do you have?

MERK
Enough for all of you.

BRICK
Then let’s get this show on the road
and see if this shit works.

Merk shrugs out of his backpack.
Opens one of the compartments.
Pulls out a small medical bag.

MERK
It worked on the lab rats --
(looks at Gaga)
Don’t worry.
They only bad reaction
would be getting the virus,
which you already have.

GAGA
Okay --

She sits.
Watches him prepare the injection.

He wipes her arm with an alcohol swab.
SQUIRTS the needle.

MERK
Just relax.
This won’t hurt a bit.

She nods. Closes her eyes.
He taps lightly on her forearm.
Finds a vein. Injects her. She flinches.

MERK
Okay. Give it a few minutes --
(to Brick)
So what was The Battle Of The Meadowlands?

BRICK
We were having our first rally.
You know, getting organized.
It was really trippy, like out of
a John Carpenter movie --

MERK
Who’s John Carpenter?

BRICK
Not important.
Anyway, there were a couple hundred
SERIOUSLY infected living
in the bowels of the stadium,
I mean, we’re talking full-on
Night Of The Living FUCK.
It was Twenty-Eight YEARS Later-time.

GAGA
Merk, MERK. LOOK --

Gaga holds up her hand.
The swelling and discoloration is gone.

Her face looks normal, too.
She beams with happiness.

MERK
It worked. It WORKED.

BRICK
(starts rolling up his sleeve)
Holy SHIT. You’re a fucking genius.

PUSH IN ON Merk. Smiling.
Holding up the syringe.

MERK
Hey.
Friends DO let friends share needles --