Rock The Casbah

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In Chapter 5 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Gaga escapes from a horde of zombies in the hinterlands of New Jersey, and then finds safety with infected revolutionary leader Brick Cosmo. Meanwhile, Jool is not to happy with her uncle's plans to marry her off to a bloated, rich yuppie ...


EXT. NEW JERSEY - CITY STREET - NIGHT
Across the river, what once was a
bustling berg is now a burned-out shell.
In ruins. A deserted slum.

GAGA comes RUNNING down the street.
Pursued by the trio of zombies we saw earlier.

They start GAINING on her.
She turns, DUCKS down an alley.
and panting.

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
Gaga RUNS down the alley,
the zombies in hot pursuit.

She sees a door. YANKS it open.
RUNS inside. The zombies follow.

INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Gaga TEARS ASS through the kitchen,
GRABBING pots and pans and HURLING
them at the zombies.

But they BOUNCE off them and
CLANG onto the floor. She RUNS into --

INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
Dark. Eerie. Chairs up on tables. Cobwebs.
Rats SCURRY about.

Gaga DASHES through the room.
JUMPS under a table and hides.

The zombies RACE into the room.
Stop. Look around. Sniffing.

The front door FLIES OPEN.
A tall, rugged GUY (40’s) walks in.

Dead ringer for Bruce Campbell.
He holds a giant ‘super-soaker’ squirt gun.
Meet BRICK COSMO, revolutionary warrior.

BRICK
Eat shit and MELT, mother-undead-FUCKERS.

He SPRAYS them with a brown liquid.
The zombies fall back, SCREAMING.

Their skin BUBBLES in a WHITE MIST.
They HIT the ground and DISSOLVE
into a gooey puddle of pulp and bones.

BRICK
Disgusting.

Brick puts his weapon down.
Steps around it.

BRICK
You can come out now.
The coast is clear.

GAGA (O.C.)
Who-who are you?

BRICK
Brick Cosmo, soldier in the
infected revolutionary army.
C’mon out. I won’t hurt you.
(sings)
Buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta --

Gaga comes out from under the table.
Sees the zombie puddle.

GAGA
Thanks --
(gulps)
How did you do that?

BRICK
(holds up the gun)
Believe it or not, gasoline.
Takes ‘em out faster than
you can say 'pay at the pump.'

GAGA
Why not just shoot them?

BRICK
We’re kinda low on bullets these days.

GAGA
You said -- infected revolutionary army?

BRICK
Yes, ma’am.
The revolution WON’T be televised --
but we’re still gonna kick ass.
(looks her over)
You must be a newbie. Wanna enlist?
We offer room, board and zombie protection.

GAGA
Yeah, sure. What do I need to do?

BRICK
Just follow me to our secret headquarters,
we’ll fill you in.

EXT. ABANDONED CITY STREET - NIGHT
Brick leads Gaga down the ruined avenue.

BRICK
Keep your eyes peeled.
These mofos can MOVE.

GAGA
So how many are there
in your revolutionary army?

BRICK
Now that you’re on board, six.
But that’s just our cell.
There’s TONS of us out here,
and we’re getting ready to
rock the fucking Casbah.

GAGA
What’s your plan?

BRICK
Ever seen Escape From New York?

GAGA
Yeah, sure. I love old movies.

BRICK
Well, it’s kinda the reverse --

INT. CARLING’S MANSION - BALLROOM - NIGHT
The crowd has thinned out.
Carling stands chatting with TATE CANYON (21).

Incredibly good-looking.
Natty in cool threads.

Oozing charisma.
Great with the ladies.
And a real mench.

CARLING
I don’t know where she is, Tate.
I haven’t seen her all night.

TATE
That’s a shame.
I’ve been dying to meet her.
Maybe another time --

CARLING
Would you please excuse me a moment?
I’ll be right back.

TATE
Of course.

Carling walks over to the bar
where Nin is getting a drink.

CARLING
Have you seen Jool?
I’ve been looking for her all evening.

NIN
(turns white)
No, I haven’t.

CARLING
You’re lying, Nin.
I can always tell.
Out with it.

NIN
She -- went out.

CARLING
Where did she go?

NIN
To a -- street fair.

CARLING
A street fair?
Where on EARTH is there a
street fair tonight?

NIN
Uh -- downtown.

CARLING
DOWNTOWN? She went DOWNTOWN?
Why on EARTH would she want to go THERE?

NIN
Carling, she’s young. Curious.
It’s only natural that she’d want
to see how other people live.
(beat)
Think of it like -- anthropology.

CARLING
But it’s not SAFE down there.

NIN
Nonsense. She took a cab. And her gun.

CARLING
(sees something)
Jool. There you are --

IN THE DOORWAY
Stands Jool.
Carrying her shoes in her hand.
Trying to sneak in quietly. Busted.

JOOL
Uncle Carling.

CARLING
Come over here.
There’s someone I want you to meet.

Jool walks over. Looks at Tate. Smiles blandly.

CARLING
I present to you my niece, Juliet.

JOOL
Jool.

TATE
You said she was a goddess --
(takes her hand, kisses it)
Did my heart love 'til now?
Forswear its sight -- for I never saw
true beauty until this night.

She pulls her hand away. NOT interested.

JOOL
I’m like, so sure.
Gag me with Bartlett's Quotations.

CARLING
(oblivious)
I’m sure the two of you are
going to be quite happy together.

JOOL
Excuse me?

CARLING
My dear, this is the man
you’re going to marry.

JOOL
I don’t understand.

CARLING
Tate is the heir to the Canyon dynasty.
You should be honored.
The Times named him one of the
'ten most eligible bachelors in the republic.'
(big smile)
Nothing but the best for my niece --

Jool stares at Carling.
Then Tate. Speechless. Then at Nin.
Who gives her a ‘it’s news to me’ look.

CARLING
My dear, are you feeling alright?
You look pale.

JOOL
On what planet do you expect me
to marry THAT yuppie gas-bag?
(to Tate)
No offense.

She turns on her heel, and quickly
MARCHES out of the room.

CARLING
What the -- ?
(calls after her)
You come back here THIS INSTANT,
young lady.

NIN
Calm down. I’ll go talk to her.

CARLING
Do that.

Nin nods. Rushes off.
Carling looks at Tate. Sighs.

CARLING
I’m dreadfully sorry.
I guess I should have briefed her.

PUSH IN on Tate’s face.
His look of disappointment.

TATE
Was it something I said?