Friday, October 31, 2014
Rock The Casbah
Hey there, crime kids. Happy All Hallow's Eve. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 5 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Gaga escapes from a horde of zombies in the hinterlands of New Jersey, and then finds safety with infected revolutionary leader Brick Cosmo. Meanwhile, Jool is not to happy with her uncle's plans to marry her off to a bloated, rich yuppie ...
EXT. NEW JERSEY - CITY STREET - NIGHT
Across the river, what once was a
bustling berg is now a burned-out shell.
In ruins. A deserted slum.
GAGA comes RUNNING down the street.
Pursued by the trio of zombies we saw earlier.
They start GAINING on her.
She turns, DUCKS down an alley.
EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
Gaga RUNS down the alley,
the zombies in hot pursuit.
She sees a door. YANKS it open.
RUNS inside. The zombies follow.
INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Gaga TEARS ASS through the kitchen,
GRABBING pots and pans and HURLING
them at the zombies.
But they BOUNCE off them and
CLANG onto the floor. She RUNS into --
INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
Dark. Eerie. Chairs up on tables. Cobwebs.
Rats SCURRY about.
Gaga DASHES through the room.
JUMPS under a table and hides.
The zombies RACE into the room.
Stop. Look around. Sniffing.
The front door FLIES OPEN.
A tall, rugged GUY (40’s) walks in.
Dead ringer for Bruce Campbell.
He holds a giant ‘super-soaker’ squirt gun.
Meet BRICK COSMO, revolutionary warrior.
Eat shit and MELT, mother-undead-FUCKERS.
He SPRAYS them with a brown liquid.
The zombies fall back, SCREAMING.
Their skin BUBBLES in a WHITE MIST.
They HIT the ground and DISSOLVE
into a gooey puddle of pulp and bones.
Brick puts his weapon down.
Steps around it.
You can come out now.
The coast is clear.
Who-who are you?
Brick Cosmo, soldier in the
infected revolutionary army.
C’mon out. I won’t hurt you.
Buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta --
Gaga comes out from under the table.
Sees the zombie puddle.
How did you do that?
(holds up the gun)
Believe it or not, gasoline.
Takes ‘em out faster than
you can say 'pay at the pump.'
Why not just shoot them?
We’re kinda low on bullets these days.
You said -- infected revolutionary army?
The revolution WON’T be televised --
but we’re still gonna kick ass.
(looks her over)
You must be a newbie. Wanna enlist?
We offer room, board and zombie protection.
Yeah, sure. What do I need to do?
Just follow me to our secret headquarters,
we’ll fill you in.
EXT. ABANDONED CITY STREET - NIGHT
Brick leads Gaga down the ruined avenue.
Keep your eyes peeled.
These mofos can MOVE.
So how many are there
in your revolutionary army?
Now that you’re on board, six.
But that’s just our cell.
There’s TONS of us out here,
and we’re getting ready to
rock the fucking Casbah.
What’s your plan?
Ever seen Escape From New York?
Yeah, sure. I love old movies.
Well, it’s kinda the reverse --
INT. CARLING’S MANSION - BALLROOM - NIGHT
The crowd has thinned out.
Carling stands chatting with TATE CANYON (21).
Natty in cool threads.
Great with the ladies.
And a real mench.
I don’t know where she is, Tate.
I haven’t seen her all night.
That’s a shame.
I’ve been dying to meet her.
Maybe another time --
Would you please excuse me a moment?
I’ll be right back.
Carling walks over to the bar
where Nin is getting a drink.
Have you seen Jool?
I’ve been looking for her all evening.
No, I haven’t.
You’re lying, Nin.
I can always tell.
Out with it.
She -- went out.
Where did she go?
To a -- street fair.
A street fair?
Where on EARTH is there a
street fair tonight?
Uh -- downtown.
DOWNTOWN? She went DOWNTOWN?
Why on EARTH would she want to go THERE?
Carling, she’s young. Curious.
It’s only natural that she’d want
to see how other people live.
Think of it like -- anthropology.
But it’s not SAFE down there.
Nonsense. She took a cab. And her gun.
Jool. There you are --
IN THE DOORWAY
Carrying her shoes in her hand.
Trying to sneak in quietly. Busted.
Come over here.
There’s someone I want you to meet.
Jool walks over. Looks at Tate. Smiles blandly.
I present to you my niece, Juliet.
You said she was a goddess --
(takes her hand, kisses it)
Did my heart love 'til now?
Forswear its sight -- for I never saw
true beauty until this night.
She pulls her hand away. NOT interested.
I’m like, so sure.
Gag me with Bartlett's Quotations.
I’m sure the two of you are
going to be quite happy together.
My dear, this is the man
you’re going to marry.
I don’t understand.
Tate is the heir to the Canyon dynasty.
You should be honored.
The Times named him one of the
'ten most eligible bachelors in the republic.'
Nothing but the best for my niece --
Jool stares at Carling.
Then Tate. Speechless. Then at Nin.
Who gives her a ‘it’s news to me’ look.
My dear, are you feeling alright?
You look pale.
On what planet do you expect me
to marry THAT yuppie gas-bag?
She turns on her heel, and quickly
MARCHES out of the room.
What the -- ?
(calls after her)
You come back here THIS INSTANT,
Calm down. I’ll go talk to her.
Nin nods. Rushes off.
Carling looks at Tate. Sighs.
I’m dreadfully sorry.
I guess I should have briefed her.
PUSH IN on Tate’s face.
His look of disappointment.
Was it something I said?