Reasonably Cheap

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, private eye Carrie Love and production assistant Jenny Lane wake up the morning after at Jenny's joint and go for a second round. Meanwhile, homicide dicks Bernie Keko and Aya Meir interview the grotesque clerk at the Hotel California ...


INT. JENNY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Chet Baker’s THE THRILL IS GONE
plays softly on the stereo.

Carrie and Jenny sit on the couch.
More than a little looped.

CARRIE
There’s a couple of
decent places at the beach.
The Venice Motor Hotel, maybe.
Reasonably cheap, not too sleazy,
and right near --
(hiccups)
The Boardwalk.
(drains her glass, stands)
I’m gonna go freshen my --

A fire engine SIREN SCREAMS.
Carrie DROPS her glass.

It hits the hardwood floor. CRASH.
She races to the window.

CARRIE
NOOOOOOO!

JENNY
It’s okay, it’s okay!
It’s just a --

Carrie watches the fire truck go by.
Socked in the gut.

She WHIRLS AROUND.
Clenches her fists.
The shock balloon POPS.

CARRIE
NO, It’s NOT OKAY.
It’s NOT -- OKAY.
I lost EVERYTHING.
My music, my books,
my movies, my clothes, my -- SHOES.
Ohmigod, my SHOES!
My fucking SHOES.
(gasps)
I lost EVERYTHING, Jenny!
I lost EVERYTHING I had in THE WORLD.
(beat)
And now I --
(beat)
I have --
(quietly)
Nothing.

And she LOSES IT.
Wrenching, heart-ripping
SOBS of pain.

Spilling, gushing out like
blood from a violent wound.

Jenny races over to Carrie.
Hugs her. Strokes her hair.

Carrie cries.
And cries. And cries --

INT. HOTEL CALIFORNIA - FRONT DESK - AT THAT MOMENT
Bernie stands with Aya at the desk.
Bernie flips his badge at Grotesque Clerk.

Grotesque checks it out.
Scratches herself.

BERNIE
Detective Keko, homicide.
This is my partner, Aya Meir.

AYA
(nods)
When did you find the body?

GROTESQUE CLERK
About fifteen minutes ago.
The guy in the room below
called to complain about
blood leaking through the ceiling.
Poor guy’s on his honeymoon.
At first he thought he
broke his wife’s cherry.
But when she told him
she really wasn’t a virgin,
well, hello --

BERNIE
Did Yavo have any visitors,
anybody suspicious-looking?

GROTESQUE CLERK
Another detective, a woman.
Checked out the dead guy’s room,
then left in an hurry.
Drove a big, old, white car,
Cadillac, I think.
Didn’t say her name --

BERNIE
Tall, thin, long hair,
big boobs, smart mouth?

GROTESQUE CLERK
Yeah, that’s her.

AYA
You know this person?

BERNIE
Yeah. And now she’s
in a shit-load of trouble.
(to the clerk)
What’s the room number?

GROTESQUE CLERK
Twenty four.
You can’t miss it.
Place is crawling with pig -- uh, cops.

INT. JENNY’S APARTMENT - MORNING
Now that it’s light out,
we can see through the wall of windows
the Marina Peninsula’s Grand Canal.

It’s quite a sight.
Worth every penny of the outrageous rent.

Nestled in a large, airy studio
is a kitchenette. Dinette. Work stationette.
Entertainment centerette. Very cute.

Carrie leans against the kitchenette counter.
Rakish in Jenny’s white terry cloth robe.
Holding a mug of coffee.

CARRIE
Not as hung over as I thought I’d be.
(beat)
Did we -- you know, do anything, uh -- ?

JENNY
comes into frame.
With her coffee.

JENNY
No. You passed out.
I slept on the couch.

CARRIE
Good.
Don’t want to compromise -- the case.

Pause.

JENNY
We did -- kiss.

CARRIE
We did?
(off Jenny’s nod)
Did you like it?

JENNY
(quiet)
I did.

Carrie puts down her mug.
Puts her hands on Jenny’s hips.

CARRIE
Rule one.
Don’t mix business with pleasure.

JENNY
(strokes Carrie’s hair)
Uh-huh.

CARRIE
Rule two.
Don’t get involved on the rebound.

JENNY
(puts arms on Carrie’s shoulders)
Definitely not.

CARRIE
Rule three --
(beat)
What the fuck.

And she GRABS Jenny for dear life.
Jenny grabs right back.

They writhe against the
kitchenette counter. Swooning.

Carrie’s hand WHACKS her mug,
it hits the floor, CRASH.

Jenny’s foot CRACKS
against the garbage pail, BANG.

They kiss each other hungrily.
FALL to the floor, THUD.

Roll around on the carpet.
Hands everywhere at once.

Carrie’s head disappears
under Jenny’s skirt.

JENNY
Oh, my-god --

CLOSE ON
Jenny’s face.
In complete ecstasy.

It’s never been this good.
Years of bad sex and
faking orgasms melt away.

Something from deep inside
starts rising to the surface.

JENNY
Ahhh --
(rising)
Ahhh --
(gathering steam)
AHHH --
(louder)
AHHH --

And a high-pitched animal
YELP ERUPTS from her mouth.

A wall-shaking, window shattering
PRIMAL SCREAM of complete, utter abandon.
She WAILS and WAILS like a she-banshee.

And just as quickly, it stops.
Carrie’s head reappears.

JENNY
That was -- incredible.

CARRIE
Your first orgasm?

JENNY
(shy)
Promise you won’t tell anyone?

CARRIE
My lips are sealed.
(beat)
So to speak --