Cock Blocked

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, private eye Carrie Love ducks outside The Horse Head dive bar to take an emergency call from production assistant Jenny Lane, narrowly avoiding homicide dicks Bernie Keko and Aya Meir ...


EXT. THE HORSE HEAD - NIGHT
Carrie walks out the front door.
Lights a smoke.

CARRIE (V.O.)
I was cock-blocked by a skirt.
First time for everything.
It was just as well --
I mean, I was just
going through the motions.
Sex with a stripper is like
having desert for dinner.
Tastes great, less filling --
but you’re hungry again
a couple hours later.
And besides, I have a
damsel in distress to attend to.
(beat)
And right now,
she’s about all I have left.

BERNIE (O.C.)
It’s right down here.
A real dive, one of her
favorite places --

CARRIE
(hears him)
Shit.

She pulls down her hat.
Walks quickly in the
opposite direction.
DUCKS into a TATTOO PARLOR.

BERNIE AND AYA
appear in front of the bar.

AYA
Disgusting.
I can smell it from out here.

BERNIE
(fondly)
I know --

INT. TATTOO PARLOR - AT THAT MOMENT
Carrie walks up to the counter.

Behind it, a HUGE, TATTOOED BRUTE
looks her up and down.

Wipes his mouth.
Leers.

TATTOOED BRUTE
Hey, mamma -- how bout
a little ink?

Carrie pulls out her GUN.
Waves it in his face.

CARRIE
I’m lookin’ for
the back entrance, DOG.

TATTOOED BRUTE
You sure?
I gotta fresh needle --

She marches past him
toward a curtained-off
doorway.

INT. THE HORSE HEAD - AT THAT MOMENT
Bernie and Aya approach the bar.

Case the joint.
Take seats.

Scary bartender ambles over.
Clocks them immediately.

SCARY BARTENDER
What can I do for you,
officers?

BERNIE
(pulls out a photograph)
Have you seen this woman?

SCARY BARTENDER
(looks at it)
Can’t say I have.

AYA
You sure?

SCARY BARTENDER
I’d sure as hell
remember HER.

Bernie frowns.
Puts the picture down.
Checks his watch.

BERNIE
Hey.
It’s six.
I’m starving.

AYA
It’s that late already?

BERNIE
(to Scary)
You still have those --
horse burgers?

AYA
HORSE burgers?

SCARY BARTENDER
(wistful)
We usedta.
Gotta new owner.
Now just have beef.

BERNIE
I’ll take a bacon cheeseburger,
bloody-rare, with the works.
(to Aya)
You -- hungry?

AYA
Starving.
(to Scary)
Can I get a veggie burger?

SCARY BARTENDER
Sorry.
No veggie.

AYA
I’ll just have some fries, thanks.

Scary nods.
Goes off to fix the grub.

CURVY (O.C.)
Hey.
I saw this girl.
She was just in here.

CURVY stands next to Bernie.
Picks up the photo. Squints.

CURVY
Her hair is different,
got this dykey
Jodie Foster thing,
but that’s her.

BERNIE
Holy shit.
How long ago was she here?

CURVY
She just left.

AYA
Which way did she go?

CURVY
Hell if I know --

They LEAP off their stools.
RACE for the door.

SCARY
appears from the back
with the food.

SCARY BARTENDER
Hey.
What about your burgers?