The Dysfunctional Family Picnic

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In Chapter 5 of LEGS, private eye Carrie Love is on her way home after meeting with her first client, when she gets a phone call from her mother about a death in the family, so Carrie must now race over there ... which is NOT a 'good time' ...


EXT./INT. - CARRIE’S PORSCHE - MOVING - DAY
Carrie drives on the ten freeway
heading back to the beach.

CARRIE (V.O.)
My first case.
I was more excited than
Dick Cheney at an NRA rally.
Piece of cake.
My first task was to
head over to the strip club
and sniff around.
(beat)
Think I’m gonna
get used to this --

Her cell phone RINGS.
She turns down the music.
Answers it.

CARRIE
This is Carrie --

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. BEVERLY HILLS MANSION - STUDY - DAY
An ANGRY-LOOKING WOMAN (60’s)
paces back and forth in front a roaring fire.

Pert, classic WASP good looks,
very Ralph Lauren.
She clutches a scotch on the rocks.

Meet MARGO LOVE, Carrie’s mother.
Right now she’s three sheets to the wind.
Beyond numb.

MARGO
Carrie, it’s your mother --

CARRIE
Hey, mom. What’s up?

MARGO
Are you sitting down?

CARRIE
Yeah. I’m in the car.
What’s up? You don’t sound good.
I mean, for you --

MARGO
It’s your father --

CARRIE
What. Is he late
with your check again?

MARGO
He’s dead.

CARRIE
WHAT?

She SWERVES the wheel.
The car goes onto the shoulder.

Carrie YANKS the wheel
back onto the freeway.
In shock.

CARRIE
How? What?
What -- what happened?

MARGO
Rat bastard had a heart attack.
Can you come over?
Todd and Nate are on their way.

CARRIE
I’ll be right there.

MARGO
No need to rush.
We’re not going anywhere.

CARRIE
By, mom. I’ll see you soon.
(beat)
I love you --

MARGO
I know, I know.
Just get your butt over here.

Margo hangs up.
Carrie CLICKS the phone shut.

STOMPS on the gas.
Stares out the windshield in disbelief.

CARRIE (V.O.)
My head was spinning.
My father was DEAD.
We’d always had a
stormy relationship.
He didn’t approve of
my becoming a cop,
and then divorcing my husband
and shacking up with a
B-movie actress
hadn’t gone over too well, either --
(beat)
We’d recently patched
things up between us --
he was starting to mellow with age --
but things turned icy again
after my recent
run-in with the law.
Talk about unfinished business.
And now, whether I liked it or not,
I had to attend
the dysfunctional family picnic.
(beat)
Without packing a basket --