Club Fuck

Hey there, crime kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of LEGS, private eye Carrie Love meets with her first client, Dick Daerr, the 'hearing aid guru to the stars' at his palatial Hollywood Hills estate, where he hires her to find his missing daughter, last seen dancing at a strip club, and then, on her way out, Carrie is accosted by porn star Laura Wood, who makes her 'an offer she can't refuse' ...


INT. STUDY - DAY - MOMENTS LATER
The standard Masterpiece Theater overdone,
manly joint stuffed with too much expensive shit.

Shelves crammed with books that have never been read.
‘Study Gone Wild.’

Dick sits behind his desk
like the captain of industry he wishes he was.
Carrie sits in a chair in front of him.

DICK
Thanks for coming
on such short notice.

CARRIE
You’ve got the crime,
I’ve got the time.

DICK
THAT should be your slogan --

Carrie pulls out a notepad and pen.
Looks up.

CARRIE
What’s your daughter’s name?

DICK
Dina. Dina Daerr.
We’re big on alliteration in my family.

CARRIE
It would appear so --
(beat)
So how exactly did you
find out she was missing?

DICK
The owner of the club
said she hadn’t shown up for work
the last couple of days.

CARRIE
(nods, scribbles notes)
And the owner’s name?

DICK
Cor Cirac. He’s French Canadian.
Has one of those funny accents.
You know --

CARRIE
Did Dina have any enemies?
You know, like ex-lovers --
anyone that would want to do her harm?

DICK
Not that I know of.
I mean, she’s fucking GORGEOUS.
People tend to give her
anything she wants --
(beat)
If you know what I mean.

CARRIE
Trust me, I know --
(beat)
She ever been in trouble
with the law?

DICK
The usual kid stuff,
but nothing serious, no.
Carrie stands.
Puts her notebook away.

CARRIE
Okay. I’ve got enough
to get started on.
What I’d like to get from you
is a list of all her friends.
My email address is on my card.

DICK
I’ll do that right away.

Dick gets up.
Walks over to her.
Hands her a check.

CARRIE
(looks at it)
Five-K? That’s quite a retainer --

DICK
I’m a generous guy.
(smiles)
Thanks again for your help.
(they shake)
What do you think your chances are
of finding her?

CARRIE
Don’t worry, Dick.
I haven’t lost a case yet.

PUSH IN ON Dick’s face.
Smiling. Relieved.

CARRIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Of course, I didn’t tell him
that this was my FIRST case --

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - DRIVEWAY - DAY
Carrie stands at her car.
Opens the door. Slides in.

LAURA (O.C.)
So you’re going to leave
without saying goodbye.

LAURA
Stands in front of the house
at the top of the steps.

Mock-hurt. Insinuating. Hands on hips.

CARRIE
Turns, looks. Gulp.

CARRIE
(trying for casual, not successful)
I l-looked for you,
but you were -- you were --

Suddenly she’s right beside her.

LAURA
'Working?'

CARRIE
Uh -- yeah.

Laura leans into the car window.
Inches away.

LAURA
I’m going to Club Fuck tonight.
I’ll be with a date, but it’s a ruse.
(beat)
Doing anything tonight?