Magic Fingers

Hello, crime buffs. What's happening. Me? I'm gonna go see a show tonight featuring a new friend of mine. A new co-conspirator. He's asked me to work on a new project with him, and I'm tingly all over. Have to keep you in the dark for now. Don't want to jinx it until things have been finalized. Not to worry. You know me -- as soon as I know more, I'll be my usual, shameless, self-promoting self.

Screened WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU last night -- a cool, little indie crime flick featuring Ethan Hawke, Mark Ruffalo, Donnie Wahlberg and Amanda Peet. Nasty little mob story about low-level thugs in South Boston. Small story, but well-told. To say more would ruin the surprises in store. Check it out.

Onto today's joint from GUN-WILD. I'm gonna skip the next scene, because it's short. Just know that robbery/homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls have learned the identity of the owner of the Winnebago, and it's a doozy -- billionaire media mogul Geffin Diller. (Nice, huh?) They're now on their way over to his estate, armed with a picture of Cam -- who we now realize is his daughter.

So let's get back to Cam and Rod. They've just jacked a local dive bar, and are now once again ...

On the lam.

***

EXT. VENICE PIER - PARKING LOT - AT THAT MOMENT

Rod and Cam RUN to the VW van.

JUMP in. SLAM the doors.

He rubs the wires together.

They SPARK. The engine ROARS.

ROD

Let’s get the fuck OUTTA HERE.

Cam turns, looks in the back.

CAM

The MONEY, it’s GONE!

ROD

(SLAMS on the brakes)

What THE FUCK?

He looks.

THE BACK OF THE VAN

Is empty.

ROD

POUNDS on the steering wheel.

ROD (CONT’D)

God-DAMMIT!

That was TWO-HUNDRED GRAND.

CAM

We should’ve taken it with us, LIKE I SAID.

ROD

Shut the fuck up and let me think.

CAM

Think while you’re driving.

We gotta get THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

Rod puts the van into gear,

and ROARS out the parking lot.

ROD

We gotta find a place to hole up for a bit.

Then make a new score.

CAM

How much did we get from the bar?

ROD

About five-hundred.

That should keep us going for a little while.

CAM

Rod, we gotta blow town.

The cops are gonna trace the RV back to my parents.

(beat)

If they already haven’t.

ROD

Shit. Fuck me in the ass. FUCK ME.

(thinks)

Okay. Here’s what we do.

We hole up in a fleabag motel,

the kind where they don’t give a fuck.

Then, tomorrow -- we change our appearance

so we look different, and go knock off another bank.

CAM

NOW you’re talking.

ROD

(looks up ahead)

As a matter of fact,

there’s a nice little ‘adult motel’ coming up.

The van drives through an intersection.

CAM

You mean the kind with the magic fingers?

ROD

Give you any ideas?

CAM

How can you think of sex at a time like this?

ROD

I’m a guy.

CAM

That’s all you guys think about.

You think with your dick.

ROD

At least I don’t think with my gun.

(looks out the window)

We’re here.

EXT. ADULT MOTEL - NIGHT

A shitty, run-down joint with bars on the windows next to a vacant lot.

The sign reads THE STARLET. FREE HBO.

The VW van pulls into the parking lot. Stops.

IN THE VAN

Rod turns, looks at Cam.

ROD

Cam, baby. We’ve been through a lot of shit today.

We’re both exhausted. Strung out.

CAM

Yeah.

ROD

Look. I really care about you.

And I’m sorry about what happened with -- you know.

CAM

DON’T say it.

ROD

It’s okay, it’s okay. I won’t.

(beat)

Let’s just chill out, have a couple of drinks,

watch a movie, and get some sleep.

How does that sound?

CAM

(tiny voice)

That would -- be nice.

ROD

And I won’t try anything. Promise.

(beat)

Okay?

Cam looks at him. Her lip quivers.

Tears light up her eyes.

CAM

Okay.

She leans over. Puts her arms around him.

CAM (CONT’D)

I could -- almost love you.

***