The Rolling Stoned

Happy Friday. Thank Guns It's Friday. What the fuck. Let's party. Is that a pistol in your pocket?

Or are you just ... ?

Screened PANIC ROOM for the first time last night. HOLY SHIT was that movie exciting. Great supporting cast, too. Forest Whitaker, Jared Leto -- and what the fuck, Dwight Yoakam? His sleazy sociopath almost steals the movie. Almost. David Fincher can elevate the simplest formula like this to new heights. Definite two glocks up. Wanna see it again.

Onto today's installment from GUN-WILD.

When we last left our heisters, they were partying on wheels in a deluxe RV. Well, they've landed at Venice Beach, and are getting ready to rock the night away.

I mean, if you had just boosted over 200 grand in cash, wouldn't you wanna party?

***

EXT. VENICE BEACH - PARKING LOT - AT THAT MOMENT

The Winnebago is parked in a small lot near the boardwalk.

A handful of decrepit, hand-painted HIPPIE RV’S sit, gathering dust.

JESUS WAS HOMELESS proclaims a former school bus.

INT. WINNEBAGO - CONTINUOUS

A sleazy, go-go groove courtesy of

My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult

bumps and grinds on the stereo.

The blinds are drawn.

Hondo chops up a big mound of white powder

on the coffee table with a credit card.

The bag of money lies at his feet.

HONDO

Ready to go to Magic Mountain?

Net does the twist, slides over to the table,

resplendent in bra and panties,

sloshing her tumbler of whiskey.

NET

Definite E-ticket, baby.

Hondo hands her a rolled-up C-note.

She bends down, SNARFS up a big fat line.

He SMACKS her on the ass.

NET (CONT'D)

(giggles)

OW.

(rubs her nose)

It BURNS.

HONDO

Pharmaceutical-grade crystal methedrine, doll.

Gonna twist your tits GOOD.

NET

That’s fucking SPEED?

HONDO

Just until we score some more booger sugar.

Emergency K-rations.

NET

Fucking meth --

(has brilliant idea)

Let’s do a SPEEDBALL.

ROD AND CAM

Walk into frame with their drinks.

Both completely lit.

Cam’s gun sticks out of her waistband.

ROD

Did I hear the word speedball?

HONDO

I didn’t know you partook in the smack-iary arts.

ROD

Once in a blue moon.

Usually I just chip --

but fuck it, it’s a special occasion.

CAM

I wanna do one, too.

Hondo pulls a black felt bag out of his jacket.

Unrolls it. Slides out a large HYPODERMIC NEEDLE.

Holds it up. Smiles.

HONDO

Friends don’t let friends share needles.

Cam sits down next to him.

Puts her hand on his knee.

NET

Who said we’re FRIENDS?

They look at each other.

SCREAM with laughter.

CAM

That’s a -- big needle.

HONDO

All the better to eat you with.

(looks at Rod)

You should see my cock.

ROD

I’ll pass.

NET

You don’t know what you’re missing.

CAM

(to Hondon and Net)

Stop hitting on my man, fuckos --

and let’s get FUCKED UP.

HONDO

Your wish is my demand.

He pours some heroin onto a spoon.

Then a little meth.

Squirts a little water on it.

Lights it with his Bic.

THE MIXTURE

In the spoon BUBBLES.

THE NEEDLE

Slides into it.

THE PLUNGER

Pulls. The shaft fills swirling white magic.

HONDO

Holds up the syringe like a surgeon.

Pulls the rubber tubing around his forearm

with his other hand. Show and tell.

HONDO (CONT’D)

(dramatic)

Ladies and gentlemen, The Rolling Stoned.

And he PUSHES the needle into his arm.

***