Cold Blue Steel

Greetings, fans. I'm so grateful you're here. Both of you. Love you. Mean it. Don't ever change.

Had a great lunch meeting with a new co-conspirator. Can't give away any details yet, but it looks like I'm gonna be hired to writer on his new project. Can you say 'totally stoked?' 'Dude?' What makes it even more amazing is this someone I'd love to be friends with. Nice, funny, twisted, elegant -- a true bon vivant, with tons of great stories.

Later on tonight I might just even do the twist.

Onto today's installment of GUN-WILD. And this one's a doozy.

When we last left the four-way, bisexual heister drug and cash party out of bounds, the gang had just shot up speedballs ... and Hondo and Cam had retreated to the upstairs lair in the Winnebago for a little slap and tickle.

Well, tickle doesn't BEGIN to cover it ...

***

INT. WINNEBAGO - UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Circular stairs lead up to the second level bedroom.

Plush and ornate. Plasma-screen. Wet bar.

The stereo softly thumps some trippy world-beat like Thievery Corporation.

Cam lays back on the bed against the pillows on one side of the bed.

Rod sits on the other side. Sips a drink.

ROD
But I don’t understand.

CAM
I said, no touching.

ROD
So, what -- you want me to watch you -- ?

CAM
(dreamy)
I like to watch --

ROD
Watch you -- play with yourself?

CAM
First -- the money.

ROD
What do you wanna do with the money?

CAM
Wanna -- fuck the money.
(sips her drink)
Throw some on the bed, willya?

Rod puts his drink down. Leans over,

takes a couple of fistfuls of bills from the bag on the floor.

ROD
You’re crazy --

He THROWS the cash on the bed.

It flutters down over Cam.

CAM
(giggles)
More, more, MORE.

She picks the gun up off the bedside table.

Starts rubbing it on her crotch.

Rod THROWS more money on her.

CAM (CONT’D)
Yeah, that’s it -- that’s it --

She grabs some with her other hand.

Rubs it on her chest.

CAM (CONT’D)
Hot dollars --

ROD
Fuck. Turning ME on --

He reaches into his boxer shorts.

Starts touching himself.

CAM
You like that, baby?

ROD
You’re so -- fucking hot.

CAM
Gun-wild, lover. Gun-wild.

She maneuvers the pistol.

Slides the barrel inside.

CAM (CONT’D)
(closes her eyes)
Ohmigod -- ommigod -- ohmigod.

ROD
Holy shit.

CAM
I’m gonna, I’m gonna --

Her body shudders. She MOANS.

Finally finding release.
Rod SHOOTS a load in his shorts.

We hear FOOTSTEPS coming up the stairs.

A soft knock-knock.

HONDO (O.C.)
Greetings, love birds.

HONDO
Appears in the doorway.

Net, shyly hides behind him. WASTED.

HONDO (CONT’D)
I brought a peace offering.
(holds up a pipe)
Black opium. Total chill.
(smiles)
Party out of bounds.

Cam’s eyes open. She looks at Hondo.

What the -- ?

ROD

Opium? I didn’t you know had --

HONDO
Secret stash. For emergencies.

CAM
(dreamy)
Never did -- opium.

NET
It’s -- beautiful.
(raises her hands)
Beautiful.

HONDO
(sees the money)
Why’s all the cash on the gash?

CAM
Reindeer games, baby.

ROD
She’s a little -- kinky.

HONDO
Tell me something I DIDN’T know.

He smiles. Comes over to the bed.

Sits at the end. Net joins him. He lights the pipe.

Takes a big hit. Holds it in.

Leans over. Hands it to Cam.

EXHALES.

HONDO (CONT’D)
Get ready to see God --

CAM
(takes the pipe)
Just saw her, baby.
(dreamy)
Just saw her.
(beat)
And she made me come --
(beat)
With cold blue steel.

She slides the pipe between her lips.

Flicks her Bic --

And TAKES A BIG HIT.

***