To Protect and Serve

Greetings, blogsters. Hope you're getting your groove on in cyberspace. Don't mind me. I'm the one with the high-powered sniperscope ... watching you from the roof of the building across the street.

Screened THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS last night for the first time. Didn't appeal to me when it first came out, but things change. Talk about about big, stupid, dumb fun. TERRIBLE script, but it doesn't matter. WOODEN acting. So fucking what. It's an ode to fast cars, dumb violence, sleazy chicks in tight jeans ... and really bad extras. I guess sometimes when you're working hard and living life to the fullest ... you just wanna settle in with a couple of beers and watch something totally mindless.

Vin Deisel. 'The new action hero.' Multi-cultural. Ugly, but suave.

Doesn't bother me ... but the masses couldn't figure out ... the dude is gay?

Love it. Guess we get the last laugh sometimes.

Onto today's scene from GUN-WILD. Before we get to the big, bloody finale of the heister party in the Winnebago, we cut to our intrepid Robbery/Homicide detectives, who are right nearby. Seems that some of the money in the drawer of the bank was marked, and Cam just happened to spend a C-note at local convenience store.

Just HAD to get those brewskies and pork rinds ...

***

EXT. VENICE BOARDWALK - CONVENIENCE STORE - AT THAT MOMENT

A tiny, sleepy joint. LOCALS shuffle by STREET VENDORS.

A pair of HOMELESS KIDS hold up a sign:

FUCK MILK. GOT POT?

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - CONTINUOUS

Detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls speak with

the STORE OWNER (50’s), a wiry, angry-looking Armenian.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

You mean to tell me I’m out a hundred bucks?

BOBBY

(holds up the bill)

I’m sorry, but it’s evidence.

He zips it into a glassine bag.

Puts it in his pocket.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

But that’s my MONEY.

TAYA

I’m sorry, sir. It’s standard procedure.

You’ll get it back.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

Yeah, right -- it’ll get put in some fucking evidence locker,

and will get mysteriously LOST.

BOBBY

EXCUSE ME?

TAYA

Could you describe the young woman who spent the bill?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

She was a young girl, early 20’s.

Boardwalk’s full of ‘em. They all look alike.

Blonde. T-shirt and jeans. Flip-flops.

BOBBY

(squinting at something on the wall)

That your license to sell beer and wine?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

Uh -- yeah.

BOBBY

Boy, I’d bet business would go WAY down

if you couldn’t sell Colt 45 and Thunderbird.

Pause.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

She was kinda strange. Kept giggling to herself.

Bought all kinds of junk food, and a ton of beer and wine.

Surprised she could carry it all.

TAYA

Was she wearing a baseball cap?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

Yeah. Yankees cap.

Don’t see them that much around here,

come to think of it.

BOBBY

What about her T-shirt?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

Some band shirt. My Life With --

TAYA

My life with?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

Some cult.

BOBBY

A cult? But you said it was a band --

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

The Thrill Kill Kult. That’s it.

My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult.

With a cartoon of a -- stripper or something.

Dominatrix shit.

Bobby and Taya exchange glances.

BOBBY

Thank you very much. You’ve been most helpful.

TAYA

Don’t worry about the money.

I promise we’ll have it dusted for prints

and mailed to you in a couple of days.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER

(still pissed)

Okay.

Bobby and Taya amble outside onto --

THE BOARDWALK

Bobby pulls out the bag.

Takes out the hundred. Smiles.

TAYA

What are you doing? That’s evidence.

BOBBY

(waves it at her)

Already dusted for prints.

C’mon, let’s go grab a slice

to eat while we canvas the area.

I know a great place right down the street.

TAYA

(smiles)

You’re evil.

BOBBY

To protect and serve -- ourselves.

***